Reflections on 1 year of sobriety...
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: WI - Where alcohol abuse is a sacrement
Posts: 157
Reflections on 1 year of sobriety...
I'm not a regular presence here anymore, but just wanted to check in to let everyone know what my resolution last March to examine every facet of my life in detail and ditch what wasn't working has been a great success. Obviously, the first thing to go was alcohol, which had been pretty much the "root of all evil" for my entire life.
Looking back (which you shouldn't really spend that much time doing, in my opinion), the realization that I've spent the last 30 years abusing alcohol on a daily basis makes me wonder what I could have accomplished in life had I chosen this path earlier. So while I don't want this post to be story of woe and regret, I would like it to serve as a shout-out to those 20-somethings here that are in the same situation as I was.
My advice to you is this: The path of least resistance and the path of greatest reward are entirely separate. Sometimes they appear to run parallel, but the longer you accept this illusion, the further you will deviate from the true path - the one that leads to peace, contentment, health and happiness.
Quitting alcohol was easy. The difficult part is creating - and believing in, your resolve to rebuild your life around the pillars of heath, happiness and meaning while maintaining that resolve during the hard times. It's about learning the difference between simply resisting the temptation to drown your reality in booze versus understanding exactly why you want to do so, and what you stand to lose by returning to your old vices.
Do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the vortex currently sucking you down into a drunken oblivion. It's an illusion. A siren's song. And most importantly, find out what it is that makes that drunken oblivion such an attractive place to you. Therapy, prayer, meditation, etc. Find out what it is you're hiding from, covering up or drowning out and face it head on.
Life is so much more beautiful when you've faced down your demons and flipped them a big ol' bird right in their faces.
Peace.
Looking back (which you shouldn't really spend that much time doing, in my opinion), the realization that I've spent the last 30 years abusing alcohol on a daily basis makes me wonder what I could have accomplished in life had I chosen this path earlier. So while I don't want this post to be story of woe and regret, I would like it to serve as a shout-out to those 20-somethings here that are in the same situation as I was.
My advice to you is this: The path of least resistance and the path of greatest reward are entirely separate. Sometimes they appear to run parallel, but the longer you accept this illusion, the further you will deviate from the true path - the one that leads to peace, contentment, health and happiness.
Quitting alcohol was easy. The difficult part is creating - and believing in, your resolve to rebuild your life around the pillars of heath, happiness and meaning while maintaining that resolve during the hard times. It's about learning the difference between simply resisting the temptation to drown your reality in booze versus understanding exactly why you want to do so, and what you stand to lose by returning to your old vices.
Do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the vortex currently sucking you down into a drunken oblivion. It's an illusion. A siren's song. And most importantly, find out what it is that makes that drunken oblivion such an attractive place to you. Therapy, prayer, meditation, etc. Find out what it is you're hiding from, covering up or drowning out and face it head on.
Life is so much more beautiful when you've faced down your demons and flipped them a big ol' bird right in their faces.
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Worcestershire, UK
Posts: 153
Fitcher, thank you so much for taking the time to post this. I am only a few weeks into recovery, but I too have spent the last 30 years abusing alcohol. You are spot on with what you say...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 125
It took me a while to realize what made me drink. I had a Eureka!!! moment and that cemented my desire to stop.
I can't blame it on someone else. For me it was laziness, nothing fancy or heartbreaking. I've had some bruises in life, so has everyone else. Just plain out laziness.
I've always had a high stress job. From the military to my company (I resigned in August as one of the founders) and the stress off a lifetime of critical path operations, one after the other and never ending became suffocating. Alcohol made me forget or simply not care. It was an escape. It was lazy. But the next morning, lo and behold, the issue was still there only another 24 hours more in delay. I decided to do a (Get ready for it, THE overused word) paradigm shift. In my career and in my life.
No regrets on the divorce with alcohol. It is a needy, selfish, abusive spouse. In clear thinking hindsight I probably could have handled leaving the partnership better. Just walking in and giving 60 days notice out of the blue was a D*** move. But alcohol had destroyed my life learned calm resolve. All I was left with was the primal "fight or flight". As childish as a politician.
It is nice to be in charge of ME again. I am only 105 days sober. I can't wait to meet the 1005 days sober me. I'm glad to have friends to enjoy the journey with.
Best to you all.
I can't blame it on someone else. For me it was laziness, nothing fancy or heartbreaking. I've had some bruises in life, so has everyone else. Just plain out laziness.
I've always had a high stress job. From the military to my company (I resigned in August as one of the founders) and the stress off a lifetime of critical path operations, one after the other and never ending became suffocating. Alcohol made me forget or simply not care. It was an escape. It was lazy. But the next morning, lo and behold, the issue was still there only another 24 hours more in delay. I decided to do a (Get ready for it, THE overused word) paradigm shift. In my career and in my life.
No regrets on the divorce with alcohol. It is a needy, selfish, abusive spouse. In clear thinking hindsight I probably could have handled leaving the partnership better. Just walking in and giving 60 days notice out of the blue was a D*** move. But alcohol had destroyed my life learned calm resolve. All I was left with was the primal "fight or flight". As childish as a politician.
It is nice to be in charge of ME again. I am only 105 days sober. I can't wait to meet the 1005 days sober me. I'm glad to have friends to enjoy the journey with.
Best to you all.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Congratulations on a year of sobriety, and thanks so much for the insightful words...that is exactly the kind of thing we can all learn from. I wish you the best of luck moving forward and don't be afraid to check in here a little more often!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Congratulations on one year of sobriety, Fitcher! Such an inspirational post and insightful advice, I do hope younger folks will find it and digest - if only I'd read it decades ago. I too, hope you post again!
Alan, congratulations on 105 days sobriety and sharing your inspiring journey.
Alan, congratulations on 105 days sobriety and sharing your inspiring journey.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 55
Hi Fitcher.
This really spoke to me. I'm 28 at the moment and I've only recently stopped drinking.
What you said about how alcohol's charm is like an illusion, a siren's song is so true..
There's so many times i really just want to kick back with some wine but it never ever ends well. Never.
When i actually look back, from the first time i drank it was always a disaster. It's only been the past few years alcoholism really crept up on me. But when i look back further is was apparent from the start.
I won't allow alcohol to waste any more of my time. I believe we only live once, so i want to make the best of my life. I can't do that being a drunk.
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helped waver the feeling of wanting to drink today.
Congrats on a year sober ^^ <3
This really spoke to me. I'm 28 at the moment and I've only recently stopped drinking.
What you said about how alcohol's charm is like an illusion, a siren's song is so true..
There's so many times i really just want to kick back with some wine but it never ever ends well. Never.
When i actually look back, from the first time i drank it was always a disaster. It's only been the past few years alcoholism really crept up on me. But when i look back further is was apparent from the start.
I won't allow alcohol to waste any more of my time. I believe we only live once, so i want to make the best of my life. I can't do that being a drunk.
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helped waver the feeling of wanting to drink today.
Congrats on a year sober ^^ <3
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: WI - Where alcohol abuse is a sacrement
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by TheLuckyCat 
Hi Fitcher.
...
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helped waver the feeling of wanting to drink today.
...
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helped waver the feeling of wanting to drink today.
You know, the years between ages 28 and 51 (my current age) passed in what felt like a space of 5 years. If I had a do-over, I would absolutely use that time to experience the world, to travel, to experience life, to meet new people, to maintain old friendships and to make great music. Instead, I did only 2 things during those years: 1) Work and 2) Drink.
So while I am a firm believer in the adage that "it's never too late to begin", I can't help be wonder what an additional 20+ years of living a life of purpose, meaning and adventure would have felt like.
Life is too short and too precious to spend drunk!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Getting to a year sober is a big accomplishment. I disagree with you that quitting was easy. It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. Knowing that I would have to do it again if I fell off the wagon has been a big motivation for me to "keep the plug in the jug". I never ever want to go through those first ninety days again. In fact, after the first year it's a relative walk in the park.
I am also 51 and closing in on my 6th year of sobriety. I also quit smoking pot three years ago. Learning to live without the "carrot" of the next buzz has been the main challenge of this whole adventure for me. Living in the moment is hard but ultimately very rewarding. What you say about the "path of least resistance" resonates with me.
Keep it going. It just gets better.
I am also 51 and closing in on my 6th year of sobriety. I also quit smoking pot three years ago. Learning to live without the "carrot" of the next buzz has been the main challenge of this whole adventure for me. Living in the moment is hard but ultimately very rewarding. What you say about the "path of least resistance" resonates with me.
Keep it going. It just gets better.
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: WI - Where alcohol abuse is a sacrement
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by gaffo
I disagree with you that quitting was easy. It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life.
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: WI - Where alcohol abuse is a sacrement
Posts: 157
Currently working on my Unified Field Theory of Life.
A year of sobriety has made it possible for me to dream on such a huge scale.
The journey for me really begins right now. The past year has been about preparing for it.
Stay tuned...
A year of sobriety has made it possible for me to dream on such a huge scale.
The journey for me really begins right now. The past year has been about preparing for it.
Stay tuned...
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