Rocketrocket

As I go though this DT'S (ooo man so itchy) 4 days in. I'm pissed that as I reflect on the past and how my drinking started is that they have made drinking a big part of out culture and choice is therefor more of an illusion. I'm just angry with alcohol and the system that forced it on me for 20 years and now I have a problem and it's my fault... choice is an illusion and I'm not delusional that the illusion may not affect most people... at this point I'm day 4 in my detox and getting really angry. I am also angry on how much the alcohol industry makes and contributes very little free substance abuse programs.. government and corporations blame it on "choice"..wow what a wake up call i see clearly why a guy like Bernie Sanders is on the rise ....

ScottFromWI

I hope you seek some medical help if you are experiencing severe withdrawals Rocket. It's normal to feel angry during this time...just make sure you stay safe. We make the choice to drink ( or not to ) - no one else can "force" it on us.

biminiblue

My emotions were magnified about ten thousand percent in those first couple weeks, it was definitely a roller coaster in early days. I was mad at everyone.

I think with time you'll make peace with this. I agree with Scott, no one poured it in my mouth - but I understand what you're saying. It is definitely glamorized.

I'm glad you're quitting. Life will be much better.

NewRomanMan

My alcoholism was nobody's fault but my own. Not society. Not the makers of alcoholic beverages, not my friends, idols or the bar down the street. Mine.

Doug39

I didn't start drinking heavy until I was 25. Sure I drank maybe a few dozen times when I was a teenager/early 20's but I probably went years at a time not drinking or even thinking about drinking back then. Alcohol was everywhere but I didn't drink. Just because society and media glamorize drinking I didn't care then and I don't care now.

In the beginning I drank to socialize but that turned into drinking to cope. Nobody influenced me or forced me to drink.

Avra

I was influenced but the choice was mine. I could have made better decisions. Its true it is glamourized and in many circles not ok not to drink, if you dont drink then ppl assume you have a problem not just that you choose simply not to. But in the end we are free to make our own decisions. I could say i wish i chose differently but its done. I want to wash my hands of that regret and move on.

Good job on four days, keep going. It gets better.

Rocketrocket

You your all right I drank, I accept no one forced Me ..I'm implying there is a free choice to drink yes but there is a great deal of social propaganda underlying free choice. in my mind I was comparing where the smoking industry is vs the alcohol industry... any who has watches Mad Men what I mean of illusion of choice.. last bottle of vodka I bought last week ( and the last thanks your stories here) there was no pictures of what my liver problay looks like or proper warnings. There is progress to be made on like the cigarette industry . I made a choice to drink but the deck is slightly stacked not in staying sober in almost all social networking areas. Dead by 10 000 drinks. thank for the kind stories for helping me wake up and see the damage I'm doing to my self and make a change be for it wake up dead. I didn't think of any damage I could be doing...boy was I wrong I'm going to protest the alcohol industry with my wallet.. and maybe actually fix some of my problems instead of avoid them..

Dee74

Hi Rocket

I ended my drinking days as an all day everyday drinker and I blamed the society around me too, at least in part.

Ten years on I still live in that society but I don't drink - and haven't for a decade - so it is possible

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

I don't think our healthcare system quite recognizes the connection between mental illness, metabolism, physiology, and substance abuse. Our culture does predominantly treat alcoholism as a moral failure.

However, if you're going through DT's, perhaps alcohol isn't for you. And you should most certainly be in a hospital environment.

Wholesome

I remember going to see a doctor once because I was depressed. He didn't ask me one question about how much I drank or even if I drank. He didn't ask me what my diet was like, or how much I exercised, or how much fresh air I got, or what my relationships were like. Just wrote me a script and told me to come back in a month. There is a disconnect in our society and with the health system.

Delilah1

I'm glad you are here and posting. My emotions were all over the place in the beginning as well, they definitely calm down as time passes.

I was so obsessed with not drinking during the first few weeks that I felt the thoughts consuming my mind. Gradually my mind started to focus on recovery and positive lifestyle choices, and that mindset has really helped me with every aspect of my life.

Alcohol is definitely all over, but I found the majority of people did not consume alcohol like I did. I am so much happier at almost 15 months sober, and wouldn't trade how I feel physically or mentally.

Each day will get easier, but don't hesitate to go see a doctor to help you get through withdrawals, and start you out toward recovery.

PhoenixJ

yep- doctor

Done4today

Good post Rocket, vent all the crap running through your mind. Much better than using it as an excuse to booze again. As others stated get medical help without hesitation. We need you sober and healthy to fight the good fight later.

zjw

yeah when i quit smoking i was very angry about the high taxes on the cigarettes. so me quiting was liek one big FU to the government and there stupid taxes on things like that which i htink is dang near criminal kicking someone while there down with taxes taht are so astronomical etc..

I kinda took that anger i had and used it for my benefit. i was happy to know they'd no longer get a dime from me for those taxes at least. I realized i did have the option to not pay those taxes.

with booze its tough too they really do glamorize it they make it seme like you can go get drunk with your friends it'll be happy and fun and get up the next morning and you will still look beutiful and go for your run and your high paying career and life will jsut be great. The reality is far far from this.

they should had me in a commercial in my final days and maybe for effect have me hancuffed to the bottle. cause thats what it seemed like.

I think for some of us we tend to take it too far till we realize oh man this was a really bad idea. The unrealisitc way its portrayed only feeds our unrealistic fantasy of how it can be as well it does us no favors with the decision making process thats for sure.

Gottalife

Unfortunately my alcoholism meant I lost the power of choice in drink. Alcohol was my master, not the other way around. Not about other people forcing me to drink, merely a characteristic of my particular type of alcoholism, i.e. I couldn't not drink.

biminiblue

To spin off of what Z says above, the taxes thing...if you've ever known anyone in the medical or law enforcement fields, they'll tell you that the majority of their calls involve alcohol or drugs in some way. Domestic violence, fights, falls, car accidents etc. The taxes are partly to offset that expense, and really should be even higher because we all pay for those incidents with inflated insurance premiums and the need for more enforcement officials as well. So much could be avoided with less alcohol. However we are the the land of the free... enterprise. Freedom carries a very steep price and is sometimes more of a burden than a freedom. People will always try to escape or alter their reality and there will always be those willing to sell them the means to do it.

ScottFromWI

I lost that power once I started drinking too. But I still had the ability to seek help and quit...I firmly believe that I made that choice to quit for good.

Gottalife

I hear a lot of people say that. That they have the power of choice right up till they take that first drink. So why take it? It is an insane choice. No one in their right mind would take a drink if they suffered the kind of consequences we do.

My experience was no power of choice in drink. I drank against my will, that is why I could not stop. I had no defence against the first drink.

I had a desire to quit for good and eventually became desperate enough to do whatever it takes to acquire a defence. The actual stopping seemed to come about as a by product of those efforts.