steve-in-kville

I came across what appears to be a well written article on men and mid-life crisis. Of the extensive checklist of symptoms, I seem to check a lot of boxes.

I am not sure if this is normal sobriety? Or a mid-life crisis? Or is my sobriety causing a mid-life crisis? I'm not really concerned about it as I chalked it all up to PAWS. But I would be open to hearing any discussion on the subject.

biminiblue

I think I think too much sometimes. Maybe you do, too.

steve-in-kville

You're not the first to tell me that!

FWIW, my doctor once told me there's no such thing as thinking too much. Perhaps he doesn't know me well enough!

tomsteve

wellll, you chalked it up to PAWS yet asking if its a mid life crisis, so maybe ya are thinkin too much.

it is what it is. what is it?
doesn't matter. solutions do.

Maudcat

Sounds interesting, Steve. I confess that I don't have a real clear understanding of mid-life crises. I mean, I know about them in the abstract, but what causes them? Fear of getting old? Disappointment about one's status and income by a certain age? Would love to hear more about the article, your thoughts, and others'thoughts. With or without a link to sobriety. Color me intrigued!

ScottFromWI

Both a "mid life crisis" and "PAWS" are similar in that neither is a condition that can be medically or psychologically diagnosed. The also both likely have similar symptoms. And yes - "overthinking" itself can sometimes be the cause of these things. That's something my therapist told me one day - i was also ravenous for research, articles, websites about what might be wrong with me. And at the end of the day the problem wasn't not having enough info, it was that I was simply stuck in the info gathering stage. I needed to DO something about it. Perhaps that's where you might be stuck too?

olow

I am kind of lurking this area of the forums from F&F of Alcoholics. I am not a man, but as woman I can tell you that mid-life crisis is real even for us because I am there. What caused the snap, I do not know. It began a couple of years ago from what I can recall. For several years after getting out of an abusive (Non alcoholic) marriage, I had a night cap before bedtime as alcohol makes me tired. I quit the night caps for the past 6 years and it was during this time that I had the snap.
I do know that living for 6 months with an active A who was verbally abusive and had hateful eyes when blackout drunk sent me over the edge with anxiety/panic attacks and now depression since I left last week. I had returned to my nightcaps when I was there and still have them now. Not good, I know, but it is my only solace at the moment.
I am still in the info gathering stage of all of this (I over think a lot). It is a WTF just happened in my life thing.

OddOneIn

Steve-in-kville I don't know how long you have been sober. Is it the Sept 2016 date or your join date. If it's the Sept date this may help.

PAWS will typically begin anywhere from at 3 - 6 months of sobriety and last up to about 2 years.

Maybe you should ask yourself if you are: hungry, angry, lonely or tired when you experience the feelings you are questioning. If none of those criteria exist at the time then maybe those are the feelings you should work on with your therapist.

I am in a similar boat where I drank for 30 years. Imagine my surprise one day waking up to find myself sober AND to also find that I had aged 30 years. For some reason I thought that alcohol froze time. It turns out that was only in my head. For right now I am sorting out the so-called "glorious disarray" in which I have found myself.

I have about a year and a half sober and have got to the point where I can determine which is which. The fog has lifted and the brain farts are fewer and further apart. When I get one of my many deja vu sensations I figure my synapses are just trying to find their way home.

steve-in-kville

I think I'm at 7+ weeks sober.

I appreciate the replies. As I read through everything, plus replies to some of my previous threads, I'm getting the impression that I'm discovering what the real world is like.... sober.

I also feel like I have to almost rediscover who I am. Somehow I had the impression this would have all been over by the 3rd week or something.

I'm screwed.

ScottFromWI

You aren't screwed at all Steve, quite the opposite actually. It's a whole new beginning...a rebirth if you will. But just like our first birth there's going to be growing pains. You are far better prepared to deal with them sober however!

OddOneIn

You do get to rediscover that person but you also discover the person you are now.

You are not really screwed. It does take longer than you think it will. I don't think I had any expectations when I started. I just knew I could not drink anymore. I put everything else on a back burner and focused on that.

All along the way I would whine about where are the miracles everyone talks about. And when would my life stop sucking so much. But you learn to take life as you find it. And the big miracle is that I am not drinking.

steve-in-kville

That's a good way to put it, about how I am feeling.

I think I need a hobby.

Maudcat

Hobbies are good.

tekink

Sounds like PAWS, technically PAWS is any symptoms that occur after the Acute withdrawal phase is over. I don't know how long the Acute phase is expected to last with alcohol.

I'm feeling totally out of it, switching between depressed, anxious, and irritable. I also have zero motivation. It's hard to motivate myself to watch something on netflix when I have the day off. I'm just out of it.

zjw

hobbies are good i've had quite a few since i got sober. I think for me ( i sobered up at 33 i'm 38 now) it was all mainly PAWS.

But i dunno i got some midlife crazyness going on as well. i think about it at times I"m half int eh grave one leg in half dead already that sorta thing. ONly 40 years left wtf am i gonna do with it did i waste the last 40 did i not etc.. these thoughts go through my head at times.

I've also done some crazy stuff too like dropping all the weight and running 50 miles a week and going vegan after being a super meat loving eater all my life. My wife at one point was like are you gonna announce your a homosexual or something next? point is i've changed so much it can be a bit scary to me and those around me. A coupel years ago i dumped a ton of money on a treadmill today i just dumped a ton of money on a set of bagpipes all the while asking myself "am I insane?"

But the reality is i'm finally living my life. FInally saying yes to some things and enjoying myself.

I know what you mean about that great big scary world. I went though that A LOT for the first eyar and a half at least. It still gets me at times when i learn something new about myself.