Mountainmanbob

You can do it but, it will take (a lot) of self will.
Believers and non believers have been getting sober since the beginning of time.

Believers believe that a Higher Power helps them.
Many in Programs will think this way.

Good luck,
M-Bob

August252015

AA is wayyyy more than keeping seemingly hopeless drunks sober. And you don't have to start out believing in any higher power, so the religion thing is...another unnecessary deterrent to many people.

It sounds like a perfect time to choose to stop drinking. Today. Then choose it again tomorrow. Your brain needs time to adjust to being sober, which it can if you continue not to drink, and you need a plan of ACTION. Denial, justification and comparison kept many of us sick for a very long time. Life on the other side is truly and infinitely better for the alcoholic. I can absolutely, unequivocally promise you that. The feelings you describe like regret and guilt? They do not have to be because you do something that deliberately hurts yourself or the people in your life- they can come up and go, because of the normal parts of being human. That is just one of the gifts of sobriety.

There is lots of support here, as well as IRL. If you want it.

Good luck.

waynetheking

There's a lot of self made obstacles and self imposed variables when considering giving up alcohol for good abigmess. One thing is constant though, alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease. If you don't quite now it will get worse. So remove all your doubts and fears about quiting and choose life. Get a plan and quit drinking. Get a support group, make new friends, develop new habits and live life without alcohol. It's that simple.

Abigmess

Thanks for all the replies and well wishes I can see that this has to come from inside me . Even the name of this thread where I say i can't stop,well that's bull when I think about it I can choose to do most anything and as some of you all said no one pours beer down my throat except me. I think it's good for me to wright some of this down and to be held accountable for my choices. Thank you everyone and all take care cheers .

Dee74

Hope to see you around some more abigmess

D

SoberCAH

Mess, I like you already.

You are my kind of person.

Your story is extremely similar to my own.

I got help while I was still pretty young.

I wouldn't trade my health and peace of mind with you have been experiencing for anything in the world.

I hope that you consider seeking professional help.

I did, and I have continued to do what they told me in treatment, and I haven't had a drink or a drug since.

Please seek help and be sure to keep us posted.

I appreciate your reaching out to us.

lovetolisten

Must frame this and hang on my wall. Thanks, MIRecovery!

Outonthetiles

Seven and a half months sober for me. It can be done. All the tools are here.

Whodathunk

Abigmess, you doing okay? Can you check in with us? Have you been able to stop drinking?

I felt the same way that you did about AA. I went one time and thought I did not belong with all those people. Finally over the next year, my drinking turned into an all day event. Getting hammered so I could go to sleep, then waking up in the morning to throw up downstairs in the kitchen (so my wife could not hear me), then drinking some wine so that I would 'settle down'. Of course, this progressed to full on morning drinking, then all day. Finally one morning I knew that I would die if I drank again, (after getting drunk before 11:00am) and decided that I had one other option, go to a noon AA meeting, and there was one close to home (where before I would not go to because I was worried I might be recognized). At that moment, I just knew I had to stop drinking and AA was the only thing that made any sense, so I went.

It was a start. I was able to stop for a day here and there, but kept relapsing, but I kept going to meetings. Someone online told me to just keep going to meetings. And I did. I was not a religious person but gradually found the spiritual side that I had always had and my HP (higher power) unique to me became a big part of my eventually stringing enough time together sober to gain some traction.

I tried the sponsor thing, and it did not work for me. What did work, was going to meetings, a lot of meetings. For me the meetings kept me with people struggling with the same struggles that I had, and it kept me somewhere that was not where there was booze. I would share sometimes, but mostly I listened, learned, let it all soak in, and gradually things turned around.

It was not easy, getting sober is not easy. Staying sober is easier then getting sober, that is for sure. It is so hard to relapse and try to get that 24 hours in without a drink, but if you can put enough days together, you start to see a little bit of light.

So, I am not your normal AA person, but without AA I would not be alive today. It is free (well, they like $1.00 if you can do it), no one really cares who you are, you don't get hassled, and you can come and go as you want. Pretty neat deal to me.

What amazed me was that the meeting place I was worried about going to, I would quickly hear from shares, was being frequented by just about every profession you can imagine, lawyers, doctors, financial advisors, homeless people, people just out of jail or rehab, small business owners, people who had lost everything and people who had lost very little (so far). So, AA, alcoholism and sobriety does not discriminate.

So let us know how you are doing. This is a great forum and site. I have brain dumped and vented here often, and this website along with AA has so far kept me sober.

It sounds like you have family supporting you, but it is up to you. No one can tell you when you have had enough, only you know that. But we will always be here. So, take advantage of this site and the people here. Good luck to you.

Berrybean

Well, as the first step to stopping alcohol continuing to f&@ us is acceptance of the fact that our problem is alcohol, then as you are on your way to accepting that 'this is alcoholism' there is actually some hope for you.

Once we accept that we are alcoholics, then we are so much closer to accepting that there can be no moderation, no middle ground, no drinking like a 'normal' man for us. Abstinence will address the problem of your alcoholic drinking, but that along will be very unlikely to be sustainable unless you also address your alcoholic thinking. The good news is that there are diffrent ways that this can be done. Not necessarily easy ways. But it doesn't sound like your drinking is very easy either. In fact it sounds unmanageable and draining, and like it's likely to get much worse if you continue that road.

Recovery is about learning to do life, and to Live without alcohol. How to deal with stuff, and be content. All sober. I chose AA as my recovery route, and picked up more tools along the way from here and books I read, and people I met along the way. You can do this. If you choose to, and really want to do so.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.

freshstart57

Most of us get sober and stay that way for good without a formal recovery program, and that includes AA.

You are absolutely correct when you say In my opinion, there is more wisdom in your quote above than in this entire thread. You can do this. You can choose. You already have within you what you need to move forward, You do this by doing the next thing first. Keep posting, there is support here for you.

shauninspain

In the early days, rather than thinking 'I can't/won't drink today', I would split the day up in the 1/2 hour sections. Not drinking for the next 1/2 hour was much easier. When a craving hit me, or a drinking thought began to form, I would look at my watch and say to myself... 'I am going to remain sober for the next 1/2 hour'. I would often have to do this multiple times each day, but it kept me sober.