Corse

I have posted here multiple times so i hope you guys aren't sick of me.
For the past two weeks, I've been drinking again and doing just bit of heroin and codeine. I'm 18 years old and my mother told me last week that she regrets having me , and is ashamed of me . I totally understand her, I'm a wreck. I don't even go out with my family anymore, i have severe anxiety attacks . My sisters wedding is coming up soon and I'm so worried and anxious for it. I don't want to see anybody PERIOD. I'm excellent at hiding my heroin use, they don't even suspect it , they just think I'm ********* drunk all the time. I don't know what to do with my life, should i just die? , I'm sorry if i misspelled some words, I'm drunk now and i just wanted to talk to somebody. thanks everybody in advance

biminiblue

What your mother said was incredibly cruel. ((hug)) I'm sorry, but that is just mean.

There is plenty of help out there. We will never get sick of you. Like Dee says, we don't shoot our wounded here.

Have you thought about getting some outside perspective on this? Sometimes family gets so exasperated they lash out at addicts.

How about looking for a NA or AA meeting in your area? Being around others who understand might be very healing for you.

We are here. There is hope. Do you have a doctor you can talk with?

Keep posting and keep reading, this site is full of compassion and tips. For right now, though - pour out any remaining alcohol, eat something and go back to bed. We'll be here when you sober up. Take care of yourself!

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Corse. I think you should seek some help as well, and sorry that your parents dont' understand - we've all been through that with someone in our lives and it hurts. But we are hurting them too by our drinking/using

The solution is to get sober - and seeking help from doctor or potentially a rehab facility would be a great place to start. None of your your other problems ( anxiety, depression, family issues ) can be solved until you stop drinking or using drugs. You are very young and have a long life ahead of you so I hope you can seek the help you need to turn things around.

2muchpain

Maybe what your mother meant is that she is sick and tired of dealing with the drunk you, not you. I have the feeling she wouldn't feel that way if you were sober and doing better. Sounds like a good time to take your addictions seriously and come up with a plan to deal with it. John

Corse

My mother hates me even when I'm not drunk . All we have have ever done is argue with each other since the start of time. I don't know why i have to go through this, i see other people my age having so much fun, drinking and chilling with friends and having a good time. I can't seem to have a good time anymore. Whenever i drink I'm either pissed af, or have so much fun that i drink so much and forget everything and wake up behind a dumpster the next day and have to find my way home. I have started to fear myself, sometimes i get so angry i don't even know who i am , I'm mean , sometimes sad, angry, depressed. I feel like I'm going crazy .

Bobbieka

My son is not much older than you and just returned from rehab. It did wonders. He is a different person. Maybe you should look into rehab. There are a lot of options out there. It is really difficult to quit on your own. And sometimes dangerous.

ScottFromWI

That's the difference between us ( Alcoholics ) and others...we simply cannot control our drinking, and we will never be able to. The only solution is to stop completely.

I know you are drinking/drunk now so it's even more difficult to understand or believe it, but really the only way you'll be able to get better is to quit drinking and doing drugs. You are not alone, we are all in the same situation - if we drink, we will not stop and bad things will happen because of it.

Cherrybreeze

The statement that I bolded? You're not having as much "fun" as you think you are, then....

Soberwolf

Hey Corse