Soberwolf

Hey everyone would love your input on this

If normal people hardly drink or not at all do you think the dynamic changes if you drink at home

JD

My wife is a normie and she has a 1/2 glass to a glass of wine most days at home. She'll leave a couple of sips left in the glass and put it in the fridge for the next day. I never did understand that. Who of us would do that?

Bunny211

Normal people...sure, they can drink whenever they want. My aunt loves wine and has loads of it at home - different varieties and vintages. She serves it to guests and sometimes has a glass herself when she gets home from work.

I'm not a normie though. LOL. For me, my alcoholism took off like a bandit when I started drinking ALONE. Holy crap I went downhill fasssssssssssst.

entropy1964

My exbf drinks one beer, with dinner, every night. Rarely finishes it.

For me, the real tipping point? Morning drinking.

kittycat3

1 drink or 2 daily at home is "ok". Although personally, I think daily drinking is unhealthy, even in small amounts, but many people can stick to that without consequences and view it as normal.

BBQBOY

Great post as usual SW, my wife drinks a couple glasses of red wine w/dinner. She never has any more, even if there is a just a little left in the bottle. My alkie mind thinks "just finish it off". I'm always amazed when normies don't finish their drink. My parents taught me to always finish...don't waste......and let me tell you...I didn't waste a drop while sitting in my basement drinking alone. Pretty sad!!

KAD

I think it depends on the person. There is a reason drinking alone is considered a bad sign. For the first 5 years I drank, I only drank on weekends, and not even every weekend, and always with other people. My limit was about 4 beers, usually only 2 or 3. I was relatively indifferent to alcohol and didn't think about it when I wasn't around it. So, at that time, I would have been considered a "normal" drinker.

It wasn't until I started drinking at home alone when I was 22 that it started to become a problem. At first, it was still only on weekends, but by the time I was 25, it was every day. At first, alcohol was just something that accompanied certain events. Later on, it became the event.

I had no idea I would become an alcoholic when I started drinking alone. Who does? Does anyone plan for it to happen? Still, not everyone will. I'd venture to say anyone who finds it necessary to come to SR probably shouldn't try it!

August252015

Much like I don't believe it matters WHAT you drink - beer, wine, liquor, whatever- I don't think it matters WHERE you drink, in terms of whether you are an alcoholic. Normal people can take it or leave it, wherever.

I do think drinking alone is a bad idea if you can't control it, hide how much you drink from others (ie the bottles and aftermath when people come over), begin lying to yourself about your consumption even when no one else knows, isolate from others (to drink or just overall)....pretty much all signs of alcoholism whenever and wherever you do this kind of things. But it's easier to hide, at least for awhile, when you do it at home (especially alone).

My drinking certainly escalated when I did it at home (in addition to in public, before or after being in public...). I also kidded myself about it for a long time.

*shudder*

zjw

i dunno for me if you can like pour a drink and not finish it or walk away and not care for another or not IE be indifferent to it your probably a normal drinker.

for me its not liek that at all. not finishing a drink is insane. not drinking till pass out is insane to me. Why would i ever drink to not get drunk?

and morning drinking is a tippping point. when i started thinkign about starting my day with a drink i was concerned. then when i actually started having a beer once in a while first thing in the morning to calm my nerves i new something was off. when i could no longer make it till 5pm to drink (yeah the old no drinking before 5pm rule i made for myself) i new i might have an issue.

But i dunno that i see drinking at home per say as a red flag.

I also dont find any alcoholic drink very enjoyable or tasty. For example if i'm thirsty the last thing on earth thats going to clecnh my thirst is an alcohlic drink. I've never really found them tasty at all. But once i got one going or aquired the taste It didnt really matter.

One way to prove the taste point is kinda like with cigarettes one time i got some with no nicotine. I thought i dnt care if it has nicotine or not I just like smoking. I smoked the whole pack in an hour got pissed off and went and got a pack with nicotine. I then realized that it was not the taste the act the smell or whatever other excuse it was the nicotine i was truely after.

The same could be true with booze. I could buy a 6 pack of non alcoholic beer and frankly the taste doesnt do it for me and it would just **** me off and i'd be rushing to the store for alcoholic beer. The point again its not hte beer or how nice it is or cold or wet ot tasty or brand. ITs the alcohol and the alcohol only that i'm after.

This is why i'll always say i'd drink **** if it had alcohol in it and smoke a turd if it had nicotine it in. I"m an addict thats just how it is.

hopeful4

I don't know that I am normal LOL, but here we go.

I don't drink at home ever. I don't want alcohol in my home b/c I have two children, ages 10 and 16. Why expose them to that?

If I were to have a drink, it would normally be at my sister's home, or someone else's home I am visiting, and it would be one glass at most. I am not a big drinker. And never if my kids are there.

Soberwolf

Thank you for the replies so far I appreciate all of them

What I was thinking when I posted this was about the dynamic of drinking at home and those susceptible to problematic drinking I spent time changing the title and wasn't sure exactly how to say what I was thinking (f that makes sense)

Does drinking at home fasten up the alcoholic process if your susceptible to problematic drinking

Really glad I started this thread the replies so far have been awesome thank you SR friends

Che

Short answer yes it's normal. If a person had some personal rule that they don't drink at home or go to bars, that might help them keep from every becoming an alcoholic, since all that's left is ordering a glass at a regular restaurant where there's social pressure not to drink like an idiot.

I think if you're already an addict, making a rule like that is probably more about not having embarrassing bottles around the house, than it is about controlling your drinking. And then you just leave the house embarrassingly often, or drink in public areas because that's somehow not against your rule.

It's hiding how much you drink that isn't normal. When you realise you have a problem / other people wouldn't approve, and you find ways to do it anyway.

STGHealthyWoman

I used to drink on the weekends only to motivate myself to do unpleasant things like clean house or paint the bedroom. After 20 years of drinking like this, I started drinking every day. These days when I take a drink, I can barely leave the recliner. It flipped on me somewhere in between and makes me lethargic. Leave something in the bottle??? Oh, Heck no. What a waste of booze and money!

JD

SW, to your clarification. I don't think drinking at home makes a difference if alcohol is a problem for you. I did most of my drinking at home. Why did I do that? It was easier. I didn't have to worry about driving drunk. I was at home and not out at a bar all night. I'm also an introvert so being in a bar setting isn't my first choice. But if I was barred from drinking at home I'd still find away to drink. And probably would have had more consequences, like DUI's. So for me,I guess it comes down to it felt safer for me to drink at home.

Bunny211

I think drinking at home does speed up the progression of the disease.

I laugh out loud when I think about how I drank at home and how I convinced myself it was normal. Someone else mentioned drinking in the morning. I remember making myself a tumbler full of vodka one morning and garnishing it with a grapefruit slice and an orange wedge. A nice little breakfast drink! I rationalized that people had Blood Marys in the morning and this was a Blood Mary (on a Tuesday morning before work) but without the V8 juice. V8 is very high in sodium and my drinking had caused my blood pressure to be elevated so really, by drinking straight vodka, I was taking care of my blood pressure. It was better than having the V8 (cuz that's high in sodium and so bad for you). Total insanity.

Soberwolf

Thank you all for views & input it's appreciated

The more I think about this the more I think about what makes someone susceptible to problematic & alcoholic drinking some people can drink normally or not at all some people can drink problematically and bring it back but then there is that area where there is no return the pickled cucumber if you will

So what I'm thinking is can someone become an alcoholic through heavy drinking alone (pickling the cucumber) rather than an alcoholic disposition or proneness

bare with me people Im just thinking aloud

Some ppl binge heavily every weekend but not weekdays

Some drink heavily every day and say thier not alcoholic but surely that type of drinking strenghtens the vinegar in the jar ?

Centered3

I'm a high-bottom alcoholic (low-bottom with other addictions). When I started to drink at home, alone, when my husband wasn't home, yes, that's when the dynamic for me personally changed. That is when my drinking became alcoholic drinking. I wonder if other people had this experience.

That being said, I think normal, non-alcoholic people can enjoy a glass of wine over dinner at home or something like that.

Centered3

I've had this same conversation with my sponsor who I think at times doesn't really understand my high bottom because it wasn't her experience.

The big book explains the difference between an alcoholic and a "heavy drinker".

In my opinion, some people can stay heavy drinkers, or just "stop drinking" if they decide to, without needing a recovery program.

If a heavy drinker becomes an alcoholic, then that is just the progression of their disease. Meaning, it was going to happen whether they were a heavy drinker or not.

I was not a heavy drinker yet became alcoholic. I have the mindset of an alcoholic. That's the difference. Alcoholism is a mental, physical, and spiritual disease.

kittycat3

In my alcoholic worst it didn't matter whether I drank at home or out of the home - in fact at the end most of my drinking was out at the bar under the guise of "social connection". Ha! I was there primarily for the booze.

Gottalife

Going back a few years the outlook for the "housewife" alcoholic was pretty grim. They drank at home and were protected by their families. As a result they never came to the attention of the law or other community services, and were doomed to drink themselves to death or insanity at home. That was why there were few allcoholic women around at the start. The shame for the family was too much.

Drinking at home for normies could well be the most usual place for them to have a drink. I am thinking of a family who never went to a bar, not their scene, but might serve a drink if they had guests.