JackRaynes

Hey everyone!

So I'm currently five months sober. And I'm not really interested in drinking again. For some wonderful reason I recovered because I developed a repulsion to drinking. I'm not kidding, it's pretty messed up. Whenever I think about drinking I just get nauseous and sick. So that's not going to be a solution to my current problem. SO!

I am currently experiencing some issues with emotions and feelings. I feel like I researched before that this happens due to dopamine levels being surged when you drink. Now that I am sober I don't have that flood anymore and now everything feels pretty mundane and boring. I rarely have good emotions and have very few outlets for relieving stress. I know there's the whole exercise and eating healthy and I've been doing that daily ever since I decided to quit. I don't know. Just need some advice on if my brain is going to sort itself out soon or if this boring dead on the inside feeling is going to last. I have most of my needs met. New girlfriend, eating better, school is going well, work is going a lot better since I decided to recover, but I can't get the emotions to back it up. I'm not trying to sound selfish about this, I'm super grateful for everything I have now, but I'm just not feeling much. ;\

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Jack! Sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things. It took me many months to get back to anything resembling "normal" as far as my mental state. I drank daily for decades so it's not surprising that my brain took a long time to adjust. Many of us didnt even know how to face life without alcohol as an adult..so we had to learn for the first time.

Also remember that many of us had underlying issues like depression, anxiety. PTSD, and a whole host of others. Quitting alcohol in itself doesn't solve them, although it makes it easier to get better. Don't rule out seeing help for your mental state too if you feel it might help.

GroundhogDay

I know exactly what you are going through. It's a gradual thing to come out of it. I'm at 1.5 years sobriety and still can feel my energy and motivation rising over time. I'm still less emotional, but consider that a good thing. Overall, getting happier over time.

FLCamper

I agree - it takes a while to get a normal set of emotions in place. I'm at 15 months and i'd say the last three months have been much more stable and positive. But, as they say - I drank for many many years so it seem reasonable that it would not be a quick healing process.

fini

possibly, too, you're used to a bunch of "drama" and can feel very dramatically "alive", which might relate to some of what seems missing now in a more flat way.

Fluffer

Hi Jack,

The fancy term for what you describe is anhedonia and it is one of the most common manifestations of PAWS (post accuse withdrawal symptoms). I probably felt the flattest at about six months with continual improvement over time. I'm at 18 months now. Honestly, I do in some perverse way miss the emotional roller coaster and thrills and dopamine rushes of a risky lifestyle. Still, it had to stop and my mental state continues to improve, so keep at it! (Sobriety, I mean.)

Gottalife

The terror, bewilderement, frustration and despair, not to mention misery, are things I do not miss, funnily enough. But I found that there was more to this sobriety business, for alcoholics of my type anyway, than mere abstinence from a substance.

I also feel a strong revulsion at the thought of drinking, which is a whole lot better than pining for the good old days. Mine came about as a result of the AA program. Part of the cause of the revulsion is that life is so good now and has been that way for many years, why on earth would I want to drink? I can't think of anything worse.

Sobriety for me is a pleasure, not a discipline and not something imposed from outside. That journey through the steps gave me a completely different outlook, and a new set of attitudes with which to face the world. Life is so much better that even the best of the good old days look distinctly unattractive.

entropy1964

Congrats on 5 months. I know what you're saying. I have to choose how I feel. I have to force myself into a place of gratitude (I know, that word can seem overused and empty. Its not) and look at the upside rather than the downside. For me stress and anxiety seem unmanageable when I'm holding on to pent up emotions. I don't know they are there so I can't properly manage them or release them. Journaling helps me and yoga. They help release pent up emotions and help me 'feel' things gradually. That's just me.

D122y

Jr,

Totally agree. I am so less emotional now sober 1 year.

At first it was scary I thought why am I so....depressed....

But, for me, now I think....I am not depressed...I am....calm...relaxed...stoic...and poised.

However, I do have a sense of humor. I am always on the lookout for somebody or something to make me smile, chuckle, or belly laugh.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the post.

soberclover

I'm 3.5 years and struggle with the emotional piece...still not sure which came first....these type of emotions or the drinking/drug use. I try to remember that I had years of abuse I put my body and mind through and it will take years of healing I'm just grateful I"m doing it sober now. I was divorced many moons ago, but feel like I"m just now dealing with the emotional pieces of it.