sleepie

Hi all

This week is going to be nerve wracking. I have 3 appointments this week, one of which is yearly coming up, all in a row- 3 days bam, bam, bam. I am already shaking with nervousness over this and just wish I could take a "situational" valium so bad, and just coast through it. I really don't have what it takes mentally for this. It's especially hard as I have zero family or really anyone to talk to about any of it so I have to handle it on my own. I have 2 valiums left from my taper. I'm just not strong enough to handle all this yet, life has been knocking me down for a long time.
I have been so distraught I just sleep through the day, I don't even want to be awake. I've been taking benadryl to sleep when it's 5 a.m. and I am still awake from being a nervous wreck.

strategery

Why not prove to yourself you can get through this without benzos?
You can do it!

Talkinandwalkin

Good luck. Did you draw that cat? It is really unusual. Sorry if that was random.

KiKi0615

Hang in there Sleepie!

silentrun

Hugs Sleeps. You have us you can talk too. You're not alone at all.

Soberwolf

Sleepie ok it's 3 days and highly stressful but you have achieved so much these last 90+ days of sobriety no benzos and you got through it even today your not caving not because I'm asking but because you choose not to

There are no situational vallium, you have you & you always have us not only do I know you can get through this think about what you will think when you do get through this ? you will know ok it's stressful but also ok I'm gonna kick ass and do this because I'm Sleepie & im doing this sober

courage2

The little peace in a pill is in no way worth the price you'd pay.

You'll be ok, sleepie. Really. You may be shaking & sleepless & anxious, but you're fundamentally sound. We hear you, here, and know you can get through this.

((sleepie))

zjw

benadryl made my anxiety worse fro what its worth i took whatever that other pill is for sleeping I cant recall but they sell it at the drug store one has the ingrediant from benadryl one has something else.

hang in there. I read most of your other thread on anxeity but just have not had a chance to respond.

my anxiety was off the charts for a long time after i sobered up. I dunno I started to develop a skill at just ignoreing stuff i couldnt solve or tend too and its helped I hate to be blunt but I've had to kinda just stuff my head up my butt over various life obstacles. I know that might be irresponsable to some but there is a bit off acceptance. IE accept the things I cannot change. I version of acceptance is Oh well nothing i can do ::insert head up butt:; so that I dont have to SEE the problem anymore. IF and when a solution comes about hey wow great otherwise wtf worry about it? I drove myself damn near insane with worry about a TON of different things. IN time one by one I think i just got tired of myself. I just wore myself out with the worry game.

Dont get me wrong crap still happens and still makes me an anxious panic stricken mess but its just not as often.

But what can you do at times like that other then push through them accept your lot and persevere and move forward. You'll get to the otherside of it or the other side of the worry one way or another. And you'll probably be a better person too on the other side

hang in there.

fantail

I'm sorry Sleepie. Health stress is the worst of it all, or at least it's one of the worst. I know you can get through it, though. Taking the pill isn't an option. Or rather, taking it and coasting through isn't. That's just problems on top of problems. You'll get through. You have us here.

FormerWineGirl

Zjw, your post really hit home with me. I used to be a constant worrier about anything and everything. Like you, I guess I just wore myself out, because I am of a very similar mindset that you described. Perhaps I am a fellow "head-butter", but it beats the heck out of making yourself sick with worry!

Sleepy, good luck with your doctor visits. They will all be over soon, and maybe you can get some rest. Exhaustion makes everything seem so much worse.

Jsbodhi

Oh man, that's rough! I hate dreading something so much I can't sleep!
Just try to take it one day at a time, you're doing so well and if you make it without the valium it'll only make you stronger xoxo

Vinificent

Sometimes it helps to plan something really enjoyable for after the dreaded event, so when you start stressing about the event itself just force yourself to imagine the relief you will feel when you do your fun thing...get ice cream, pizza, a walk at your favorite park - anything that you really enjoy. Good luck!

Croutie

(((Sleepie)))

sleepie

I didn't draw the avatar, it is a Louis Wain illustration, look him up he is pretty awesome.

Ok that's an idea, maybe I can plan a lunch or something after one of the appointments. One appointment though leaves me unable to do anything but lay in a dark room for about 8 hours and this is so very depressing. I had a hole in my retina years ago and now have to have yearly checks where they dilate my eyes so much I cannot see or stand light for about a good 8 hours. I feel so scared during that time I am usually beside myself and this I have to do for the rest of my life and have been for the past 15 years and I loathe it.

Dee74

Wishing you the best in the coming week, Sleepie. I hope it goes by without too much bother and upheaval for you

D

sleepie

Thanks Dee, thanks for stopping by. I hope so too.

least

I hope it turns out better than you think.

Mountainmanbob

I understand because that is the drug that I ran to for many, many years.

Problem for us is -- if we take one or two we may or probably will crave many more.

For sleep we use Melatonin -- it's natural over the counter and seems to work well.

MB

Obladi

Sleepie, does the dark room also need to be quiet ?
I'm wondering if you could listen to your favorite goofy TV series or a book or podcasts?

I think you are brave and pragmatic to get this unpleasantness done all in one week.

SoberinSyracuse

Ugh, all at the same time! The good thing (and you know me, always looking for the positive!) is that it's all getting out of the way at once and after it's done, it's done.

Do you like message or pedicure? Those are my favorite "rewards" for surviving yucky experiences.