JDRC13

Its day 4 and I feel soooo daaaamn lonely. I dont have many friends to begin with, and my live in girlfriend just started a new job shes gone from 8 to 7, **** it feels like the time goes by so slow for her to get home. Guess I also got used to her being here most of the time, since she was just a part time student before. I have been attending any meetings I can, but damnit I still cant get rid of this sick feeling that im all alone in the world.

biminiblue

I had a lot of self-pity in early days. It gets better. I had to find ways to stay busy, whether it was posting here, watching movies, cleaning the bathroom, planning dinner, walking, or whatever.

Suddenly there are hours to fill! Luckily there are an infinite number of ways to fill those hours.

What did you like to do before you drank?

Welcome to the site.

JDRC13

thats the thing that I have drank for so long that pretty much everything I did I did while I drank or on something else. I am trying to keep busy, clean house, I want to go outside and work on my car but its ugly outside, just got back from some garage sales. I am a full time student so ill be pretty busy starting saturday, but damn it just feels like the past week and today are taking forever, and I feel like I just keep walking in circles. Im the type that feels lonely even when im surrounded by people also so it kinda sucks.
Hopefully itll be better next week, thanks for the reply.

Hawkeye13

Sobriety really showed me how much time I had been sucking up drinking.
It's hard to adjust to filling the hours, but school will keep you busy and I
also suggest taking up some fun things to do like a school club, hiking,
cooking with your girlfriend on the weekends, movie nights with popcorn,
and that sort of stuff.

What about you cook her a fancy dinner and have an at-home date night before
school starts to celebrate her job and your sobriety?

doggonecarl

Missing your friend, alcohol. The early days of sobriety are tough. Emotionally tough. Tough it out. Focus on recovery and deal with the early pain and loneliness without drinking.

Music

Alcohol is a depressant drug. It's no wonder you feel the way you do. I remember feeling alone in a room fool of people, like I was the only person in the room who had the problems I had. When I started going to AA, I went to meetings all the time. I worked but every night I was at a meeting and on weekends I found Alano clubs that had meetings every two hours. I camped out there. It seemed like I was never alone and I talked to others who felt the same way I felt. After 3 or 4 months, I was amazed at how it had been since I had thought about drinking. Meetings, a sponsor and working the steps and then more meetings. Don't hide away. Get out there and make some new friends who'll support you.

MariahGayle

Glad you are here JD & posting. You are not alone in this & will find much support & encouragement here!

JDRC13

Thanks for the replies. The sun came out so I can go outside and play. Your right, I realized the other day how much damn time I have wasted drinking or being drunk/passed out, but now here I am bitching about how its going by so slow lol. Anyways, thanks again, just needed to hear from others that have been through it you know, days halfway done ima make the best of the rest.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 4 are you going to meetings or spending time on recovery whether it's reading or writing

Volunteering is a great idea

PurpleKnight

As others have said, things will get better with more time, 4 Days is still early!!

There is light at the end of the tunnel!!

tursiops999

hang in there JDRC. It's a big change and there are bound to be big feelings and reactions in the early days.

Loneliness is a big one ... reaching out, like you did here, is a good solution. I made sure I had some phone numbers too, and called people when that loneliness felt really intense.

Volunteering somewhere can also help, if your school schedule will allow for that.

We're here for you.

Dave42001

Nice job on 4 days, it will get better. Maybe a good book or a movie to kill a few hours? Glad you have a sunny day, always nice! Keep it up, good things will come your way!!

Anna

Four days sober is great! I think it helps to know that the emotions you're feeling are a result of burying them during drinking times, but things will settle down and you'll find ways to deal with life. I'm glad you got outside. That always does me good, too.

Dee74

Once I got over the idea that fun only came in a bottle I found a lot of things to do - and that led to a whole lot of new people entering my life.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

For now tho - early days - I think it's fine to focus primarily on not drinking. The other stuff will come...in time...when we're ready

D

Gottalife

Allcohol left me completely bereft of friends. I have never been so lonely as I was the morning before I contacted AA. Everything was gone. Around me only wreckage.

These were the circumstances in which I was able to recover. In a way, the AA fellowship began to solve the lonliness problem almost straight away.

Dropsie

I know the feeling -- its boring, or feels that way.

They say its because alcohol damages our pleasure adapters, so we need to rebuild them to start really enjoying things again.

And we have to stop thinking that booze equals fun, everything else equals boredom.

This is very hard for me, but it should be, I have been equating booze with fun for more than 40 years, it will take some time to change.

But it does change, and it will for you, provided you don't drink.

Hang in there -- it is so worth it.

JDRC13

day 5 glad to be alive. It aint so much alcohol was a fun factor anymore, but it just made me feel "normal", which obviously it wasnt true, and stopped the bad thoughts in my head. I got some REALLY good sleep last night and woke up feeling great, going to play tennis with my girl and try to stay on the go today. Monday will be another lonely day but ive been lurking here and it does help, like the meetings do. The volunteering advice is helpful also ive been wanting to volunteer for years but my schedule or addictions always got in the way. Maybe its time to try again. Have a great day everyone.

biminiblue

Congrats on Day 5! That's pretty great, isn't it?

I spent a lot of time here in early days, reading, soaking up the wisdom, learning.

We're glad you're here.

Berrybean

Glad you're feeling a bit better today.

Maybe listen in to some speaker recordings between meetings to while away some time. To be honest, once term starts it'll be a whirlwind so you might as well make the most of that lazing time - watch some old movies; cook something warm and delicious for your girl (no alcohol in the ingredients mind ); journal; read on here; go for walks and feed the ducks; look for volunteer opportunities locally; think of any old hobbies that you might decide to rekindle - practice breathing slowly when you're mind starts racing, with simple mindful meditation to reground you. You can get through this - it's just a little uncomfortable for the moment.

irma56

Interesting thread. I've been mostly sober for 2 years in May but with 4 slips of one episode. It's been over 3 months since the last one. I still feel incredibly lonely at times and mostly at night. I live alone so I'm sure that adds to it. Any of you who have been sober for a long time still feel this way?