Back to square one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 245
Back to square one
I had 6 weeks sober when I got out of detox over 2 years ago, then started drinking again. Then I started taking antabuse and managed to get 5 months sober, but I decided to take a "vacation" from the medicine so I could drink on my first real vacation I had had in years. Bad idea, so I started taking the antabuse again and as long as I take it I'm fine. The problem is, sometimes I decide not to take it so I can drink, and that's always a bad idea. I know it when I do it, but I do it anyway. I'm just coming out of a relapse and have my antabuse with me and will be taking it as soon as I'm sure the alcohol is out of my system. I turn 59 on Monday, and I'm expecting my first grandchild in March. I know my daughter won't let me take care of him if I'm still drinking. She doesn't know about any of the relapses and thinks I've been sober for almost 2 years. I haven't lied to her, but just not told her. I want to do this for myself as well as my family. I'm back to square 1 but I know I can do it. I just joined a 24 hour gym and I'm looking forward to doing that. Glad to be back on the forum and I know I will do better if I post here again. Just reading through the posts has already helped me tonight.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi, you seem to be cracking a nut with a sledgehammer here. There's not much point in your routine if you don't have the motivation to stop drinking without relying on Antabuse. I get that it's useful, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't intended to be used the way are.
If it were me, I'd work on my motivation, in fact it is me because motivation provided me with the key to sobriety. What type of person do you want to be? Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? How much do you want a life free of slavery to alcohol and the subsequent deception in keeping your relapses secret? Have you checked out all the information on the internet on the damage alcohol causes to your body and mind?
I suggest you work out a plan with your health provider to stop drinking for the long term without Antabuse. If you need support, go out and find it from AA, CR or somewhere else. Read up all the information you can about the health benefits of quitting. Imagine yourself long-term sober. Use SR for support and advice on managing cravings.
I'm sure you can do this.
If it were me, I'd work on my motivation, in fact it is me because motivation provided me with the key to sobriety. What type of person do you want to be? Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? How much do you want a life free of slavery to alcohol and the subsequent deception in keeping your relapses secret? Have you checked out all the information on the internet on the damage alcohol causes to your body and mind?
I suggest you work out a plan with your health provider to stop drinking for the long term without Antabuse. If you need support, go out and find it from AA, CR or somewhere else. Read up all the information you can about the health benefits of quitting. Imagine yourself long-term sober. Use SR for support and advice on managing cravings.
I'm sure you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Welcome back. Reading and posting here helped me tremendously. The gym is also another great idea.
How exciting to have a little one on the way! If you stay sober and get to make great memories with your grandchild you will never regret that. On the other hand if you lost out on that for alcohol you'd probably always regret it.
Stay close. We're here for you.
How exciting to have a little one on the way! If you stay sober and get to make great memories with your grandchild you will never regret that. On the other hand if you lost out on that for alcohol you'd probably always regret it.
Stay close. We're here for you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
