svenissober

Hi,

I´m almost 6 months sober thanks to A.A. to which I go 3 times a week.

An employee of mine is an alcoholic just as me. He drinks almost every night and sometimes at work and tries to hide it from me.

I told him there is no drinking at work at all. I also told him that I think he has a problem and we had a positive talk about that issue. It´s a recurring theme in our conversations.

I didn´t tell him that I´m an A.A. member and I didn´t tell him about them yet. he knows that I quit drinking and I sometimes tell him how long I´ve been sober and how good I feel.

I perhaps have to fire him, both due to costs and his often poor work quality.

What do you thinks how I should reach out to him? Give him the envelope with the A.A. info I got for him (I didn´t yet have a good opportunity to hand it out to him).

I ´m not sure if he wants to quit,..

Thanks
S

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 6 months sober!

It's a touchy subject as you have a professional and personal relationship with him. If you have personal conversations about the issue it certainly cannot hurt to mention AA as an option, but he'll have to make the decision to seek help on his own.

From a professional standpoint I'd stay away from the issue and if he indeed has performance and cost issues that's something you'll need to deal with separately.

zjw

i had a guy who worked for me who'd routinely come in drunk fromt he night before having not even gone to bed yet then he'd be sleeping at his desk etc.. Being a heavy drinker myself at the time i just looked the other way. It got annoying tho because i'd have to chase after him sometimes but in the end he got his work done so i never made more of an issue of it then that.

fast forward. He still drinks but now he's actually in charge of that group now and from what i can see doing a good job too go figure!

But he did ask me once if i had to quit drinking in order to run like i do iw as like lol yeah DUH havent had a drink in eyars now! I pondered the same thing talking to him about AA or something but i was like its not like he asked me for help so maybe I should just mind my own business and i left it alone. I struggled with it too I wanted to reach out but was like this might not be my place.

fini

was the chapter to the employer in the BB any help to you?

Step12

I think you should read about enabling alcoholics. Right now you're trying to rationalize keeping him on board and at the same time you're probably keeping him from quitting drinking by keeping him on board. I'd say quit drinking or you're fired.

But that is my opinion. Read very carefully about enabling if you want to help him dont enable him.

Right now you're trying to teach a pig to sing you get tired and pig gets irritated lol

Offer a big book and invite to meeting then leave it alone.

JeffreyAK

I've had to deal with this situation as a manager since I quit drinking, and my attitude was just, follow the rules. I'm not going to open up about my past problems to an employee, and I'm certainly not going to tolerate behavior that violates policies (like drinking at work, where I work that's an automatic firing). Looking the other way is enabling, but more importantly it's dodging my responsibilities to everyone else who is affected by a drunk at work. In my case, there's a process that has to be followed (if it's not an automatic firing situation, like drinking at work), and the first step is mandatory referral to treatment and oversight by the EAP. I don't know what sort of place you work, if it's a big company then there are certainly policies - if you own the business, I suppose you're on your own, within whatever legal requirements there might be.

Soberwolf

Congrats on 6 months bud

juppe

Don't you have to provide some type of assistance in terms of quitting drinking before you can just fire him outright?

Gottalife

My policy is I can only act if their drinking is affecting their work. If it is I will give them and opportunity to get help, and I will pay for a doctor's visit if necessary.

From there it is not black and white. If a person refuses help, they will be warned that a further incident will result in dismissal. If a person gets help and is sincerely trying, I will be more flexible if a relapse happens and may not dismiss if I am convinced the person is sincerely trying to get well. I am all too aware that for alcoholics of my type, a threat from an employer and a short spell of counselling seldom brings about recovery. I feel I have to provide more support than that, but I will not enable.

fantail

Given that you may have to fire him, I would stop speaking to him about his drinking. It could become problematic for you if he decides to fight back... he could try to make a case that you fired him for personal reasons (e.g., he could say you're sensitive about alcohol since you're sober, you asked him personal questions about drinking, he's fine/no problem and it's all in your mind, he was unfairly targeted). If you have to speak to him about his performance, I'd keep it 100% to verifiable job-related problems regardless of their cause.

To Step12's comment... threatening to fire someone if they don't quit drinking is definitely illegal where I am! I'd be surprised if it's legal in other states or countries, either. If an ultimatum needs to be made, keep it to work topics only: "if you continue coming in late", "if you continue missing your deadlines". \

Good luck. Sounds like a painful situation to be in.

Gottalife

Wise words fantail. An alcoholic in denial can twist things around and make life hell for the employer, as I found to my cost some years ago.