For those alcoholics now in recovery- when did it hit you?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 309
For those alcoholics now in recovery- when did it hit you?
Just wondering when those finally in recovery and those sober did it hit you to stop? My son has me on this roller coaster for years. I have learned the signs, realized he just lies, etc. He was good for about 2 months again,then I start seeing small slides backwards then bang it is bad. Soon the girlfriend will break up with him again, then he will turn into this sorry young man and beg her to come back that he has change, she's back, he is good for 2 months, then all over again. Now his dr. put him on meds for anxiety was doing ok then the dr. increased it and now we are drinking this week every night. Lying, hiding it, etc. Confronted him about his lies last night, he has not come out of his room since. Told me I should not have been in there... sorry my house. He will face the consequences of his actions. I am certain of that this time.
SO when does it hit? He is not even 21 yet...... a few more days until then
SO when does it hit? He is not even 21 yet...... a few more days until then
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Hummingbird.
I moved your post because Stories of Recovery is not the right forum if you want to ask a question and get responses back
I'm afraid there's no standard to when we have that ah-ha moment.
Some get it early - some get it later like me (at 40) and some get it in their 50s 60s or even older.
It's a terrible thing to watch and to hope for resolution. I'm sorry you're still waiting. It must be very painful.
Are you still finding support in alanon?
D
I moved your post because Stories of Recovery is not the right forum if you want to ask a question and get responses back
I'm afraid there's no standard to when we have that ah-ha moment.
Some get it early - some get it later like me (at 40) and some get it in their 50s 60s or even older.
It's a terrible thing to watch and to hope for resolution. I'm sorry you're still waiting. It must be very painful.
Are you still finding support in alanon?
D
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Maybe he could talk with his Dr. I know on a certain antidepressant which was prescribed for anxiety that when they increased my dose I totally went off the rails drinking. He may not get it unless there are consequences. I didn't.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 18
It took having the beginnings of drink-related health issues for me to finally wake up and decide to make a change in life. I'm 36, recently married and hope that I still have a good bit of time left on this earth. I recently went to a Doctor and discovered that my BP was 160/120 due to a 20+ year history of heavy drinking, and I maintain a normal weight and am physically active. For some like myself, drinking a 12 pack of beer a night can cause BP levels to remain this high. My last drink was 8 days ago, and I'm attending AA meetings daily. While the craving for alcohol remains strong at this early stage, the support I have found in AA is helping me push back against the urge to drink.
I believe that there typically has to be some sort of consequence for most alcoholics to decide to make a change, whether it be an accident, or legal or health related issues. I certainly had no plans to stop drinking until the Doctor told me of the great health calamities awaiting me soon if I did not stop, and for many even this type of news is not enough to affect a change. The drinker personally has to make the decision him/herself. No one else can force it upon the individual.
I believe that there typically has to be some sort of consequence for most alcoholics to decide to make a change, whether it be an accident, or legal or health related issues. I certainly had no plans to stop drinking until the Doctor told me of the great health calamities awaiting me soon if I did not stop, and for many even this type of news is not enough to affect a change. The drinker personally has to make the decision him/herself. No one else can force it upon the individual.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
Frankly I've been on one thing or another since I was 14 years old - over half of my life was spent either drunk or high.
It hit me about two years ago...but it wasn't until recently that I really made the effort to make the positive changes in my life.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this with your son, I wish you luck and I hope he finds his way sooner rather than later.
It hit me about two years ago...but it wasn't until recently that I really made the effort to make the positive changes in my life.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this with your son, I wish you luck and I hope he finds his way sooner rather than later.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
as soon as i could self medicate with something I did. I started messing around with anything i could around 13 or 14. mainly my home life sucked so I felt the need to medicate. but then as i got into high school and such that also sucked again needed to medicate homelife was not much better then either. then well adulthood came along and well I needed to numb that hell away as well. I hit 33 years old and was having routine panic attacks at that point I new something needed to change. yes my health was bad yes i was over weight etc.. but the panic attacks where the tipping point. I read somewhere that drinking could possibly cause them so I thought what the heck I'll try quiting if it doesnt get better i can go back to drinking.
the panic got better but life sobering up still stunk for a good long time etc.. but it got better.
So I guess he'll hit his turning when its at a point where he simply cant take the nonsense anymore. whenever that point is for him who knows.
the panic got better but life sobering up still stunk for a good long time etc.. but it got better.
So I guess he'll hit his turning when its at a point where he simply cant take the nonsense anymore. whenever that point is for him who knows.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 309
I have gone back to Al anon. Last night they started something different which I liked. They had all the newcomers and beginners in one room. It was much better.
I read that as well about the anxiety meds. I called his therapist and told him about his drinking. He basically told me that telling him does no good because he can't let on that he knows. I said well if my son tells you he isn't drinking or not drinking much he is lying. The therapist said I should call his family doctor, because I am his mother they can put a note on the file.... So I called today and I was told that my name is not on his Hippa paper therefor I can not ask anything, they can't tell me anything, anything I say they can't tell my son. I wanted to have the doctor order a full blood work up because I want to see if there is any liver issues going on or anything else before he moves in January. I was told I can't request that, my son needs to.... Funny how he is my son and he is on my health insurance. So he has no one on his hippa form. I did tell the receptionist that since his anxiety meds were increased there was an increase in drinking. I also told her that he switched to this doctor because his other doctor knew of his drinking issues and refused to write the script...
I read that as well about the anxiety meds. I called his therapist and told him about his drinking. He basically told me that telling him does no good because he can't let on that he knows. I said well if my son tells you he isn't drinking or not drinking much he is lying. The therapist said I should call his family doctor, because I am his mother they can put a note on the file.... So I called today and I was told that my name is not on his Hippa paper therefor I can not ask anything, they can't tell me anything, anything I say they can't tell my son. I wanted to have the doctor order a full blood work up because I want to see if there is any liver issues going on or anything else before he moves in January. I was told I can't request that, my son needs to.... Funny how he is my son and he is on my health insurance. So he has no one on his hippa form. I did tell the receptionist that since his anxiety meds were increased there was an increase in drinking. I also told her that he switched to this doctor because his other doctor knew of his drinking issues and refused to write the script...
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
It's a tough call at almost 21 if he wants to act like an adult treat him like one let him handle his own affairs and such its a tough thing to do but he has to make his own mistakes and learn from them you can't control his drinking etc.. As you said like with the docs he just changed docs if he has substance issues he's gonna do whatever he can to get em and no one but him can stop the madness
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ct.
Posts: 173
In my experience I had alot of enablers helping me continue my behavior and or make it easier to continue my behavior, bailing me out of legal issues, giving me money, minimizing things,covering for me, putting up with my b.s. etc. When my problem became my problem and I just got sick of being out of control I sought help. Some people's bottoms are lower than others, but I think you going to Alanon on is a great way to learn how to take care of youself,, to see your part , to be there for him without enabling him and to let him hit his own bottom. God's in charge, I'd try to stay outta the way!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It's a tough question, because there are some that come to SR in there 20s and there are some that come in there 50s, what makes someone realise they need to change their ways, it could be a number of factors!!
The main thing is to get support for yourself, looking in at someone else's drinking can be a lonely and frustrating place!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR, I can also recommend Al-anon too for face to face meetings, it's a great place!!
The main thing is to get support for yourself, looking in at someone else's drinking can be a lonely and frustrating place!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR, I can also recommend Al-anon too for face to face meetings, it's a great place!!
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
All alkies bottoms are different. Mine was very low unfortunately for me.. i was out of my parents house at a young age so went thru some tough times by my own bad choices.. i am 35 now and if u look at my rap sheet it reads every 7 yrs or so i screw up my life from drugs and alcohol.. and unfortunately u cant force a user to quit.. has to seek help on his own.. i would strongly advise against any form of enabling. . Only makes matters much worse.. good luck
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