dru1085

Day 9 sober almost 10. Feeling good.

How nice would it be to , down the road be able to say if I'm out with friends or at a social event with alcohol and say, "No thanks, I don't drink." The sheer power of will.

Any EX alchys hit that point yet?

FenwayFaithful

Funny story! Time 5/1238123 trying to get sober I went to a Bar 30 days out of rehab and was all like I DONT DRINK YO! and drank Shirley Temples all night and was all EF YEAH take that alcoholism then a couple months later I was like hey remember that time I went to a bar and didn't drink and I haven't drank in 90 days well I'm TOTALLY not an alcoholic man, OBVI like duh I should celebrate with a glass of wine. Which turned into a bottle of wine. Which turned into going to the bar for "real alcohol" but I didn't black out that night so it was Totally Fine. Now it's two and a half years later and I'm 6 weeks out of inpatient rehab after overdosing on H. Best part is I spent the last two years at parties saying I DONT DRINK IM SOBER while chugging vodka in my car...people must have thought I had an awful bladder BC I was always making excuses to run to my car

ScottFromWI

Great work Dru, 10 days is fantastic. And yes, you can get there some day where turning down a drink just becomes second nature. Granted hanging out in bars or at other designated drinking events isn't really part my repertoire anymore, but I certainly attend events where alcohol is served and have no problem drinking something else. Takes some time and a good plan too.

FenwayFaithful

Big congrats BTW! Just struggling right now with my addcit voice and thought making fun of it might help which it actually did so thanks for sharing you really helped me. Seriously. I was going f'n crazy and blowing up my sponsor phone all day making random excuses to go to the bathroom at work telling her i was gonna bail and go get ****** up and on the bus home i was super tempted to get of half a mile early so i could go to the liquor store and only stopped myself bc relapsing on alcohol wouldn't be "worth it" but still had that crazy i wanna jump out of my skin im going to go on a homicidal rampage kinda feeling and am stuck in my halfway house bc of curfew and was like what can I do and my sponsor was like you've been talking about yourself and your feelings all day why don't you go try and help someone else and maybe you'll help yourself in the process and I was like EF THAT bro that's the LAST thing I wanna do and signed on here to b**** and sit on my pity pot then decided maybe posting replies to other peoples issues might actually be more beneficial. I guess I failed BC I still talked about myself but I find hearing about others experiences can be helpful, its funny how much denial you can still prevail even when you're reading about your own damn experience tho. But this post really helped me, which probably wasn't your intention but it has =)

esinger

All the time. After awhile it stops being a big deal. Don't push your luck early on.

tursiops999

I'm *almost* there, after a year. I do tend to avoid events that are focused around drinking, unless I have to be there (i.e. business). But it's getting to be more the "new normal" and sometimes I don't even think much of it when I say "no thanks".

Like others here, I was very careful the first ~ 9 months -- I avoided most drinking places, and if I had an important reason to go, I always had a plan and had discussed the plan with another recovering alcoholic before I went.

Carlotta

I don't go to events which center around drinking and I don't hang out in bars but I have no problems being at social events where people happen to have a drink or two or having lunch with a friend who does.
If for some reason I was invited somewhere and I felt ill at ease or questioning going, I just would not go. If I ever was somewhere and the drinking or presence of alcohol bothered me, I would leave immediately. I value my sobriety much more than people pleasing and socializing.
It's not will power, it's just acceptance. I cannot drink safely again and I am ok with it.

Carlotta

I also wanted to add that I have been staying at a friend's (taking care of him) who had major surgery those past few months and he has alcohol in his house. It's a non issue for me.
If it bothered me, I would ask him to hide it then I would do some serious self examination on why it is bothering me but I just don't think about it.
I do not consider myself an ex alcoholic. Once you have crossed that line, you cannot go back to being a normal drinker. I am a sober alcoholic.
Congrats on 9 days and keep up the good work

MelindaFlowers

I say it when I'm explicitly offered a drink, like it's handed to me. I had to say that you have to taste this beer and lifted the glass to me.

Can I let you in on the secret? Nobody gives a hoot whether you drink or not.

Reset

I said it a few times the first time I made a serious attempt at stopping (lasted almost 2 years and then...we know what can happen). Since I fell back into drinking after that I feel kind of like a liar.

This time I'm not going to say it until I'm 100% sure I mean it and will mean it for a long time coming. Unfortunately I'm not at that point yet.

It's only come up once so far and I just told the guy pouring the drinks to skip the rum in mine and to give me extra mixer please. He looked a bit surprised but didn't say anything.

If push comes to shove I'll just say that I need to take a break. Hopefully the subtlety will sink in.

Carlotta

Exactly!

gaffo

Yeah, I'm there. I will be four years sober on November 1. It's just part of who I am now.

Soberwolf

Congrats Dru

SoberCAH

I chose not to put myself around alcohol, with few exceptions, the first few years I was sober.

Why run the risk?

Now, I tell waiters, bartenders at functions I attend (like my 40th high school reunion last weekend) that I would like a bottle of water or a diet coke.

But I sure don't go looking for opportunities to be around alcohol.

No part of jails, institutions or death interest me.

JeffreyAK

Yup, most people don't care if you don't drink or not, and it does eventually become no big deal, "No thanks, I don't drink" or just "No thanks, but how about an iced tea?" Takes a while to get there for most folks.

Frank14

Funny you bring this up. We just had a work party "bonding" event at a local winery in which they did the wine tasting, etc., I did go, but had sparkling water instead of wine. I went through the whole ritual, including smelling the wine, bottling, etc.,

Yes, it was tough, especially when someone asked my in front of everyone why I wasn't drinking any of the wine. I laughed and said I never had a drinking problem, but more of a "stopping problem." Surprisingly, everyone was very supportive, and I got a couple of "I get it" remarks and they thanked me for being a good sport and forthcoming. I could have easily said it didn't agree with me, etc. I think people appreciate the honesty, and I'm a very private person, so this was a real big step for me. I would encourage people just to be honest. Good people will support you.

dru1085

I agree Frank. Who cares what other people think, I want to quit drinking for me my family and friends. I won't be afraid to say no and fear what other people think. Unless I feel like going back to High school lol. Thanks for the posts all. Very intriguing.

Oh I just rewarded myself with a trip to the mall , barnes and noble and then walked over to the theatre and bought a ticket to Jurrasic World. Man its nice having some extra spending cash.

Dru -

jaynie04

Yes, I have hit that point. I absolutely could not conceive of attending events without drinking before I got sober. I continue to be amazed at what a good time I have now. And people are genuinely impressed when I tell them I quit. I simply say "it wasn't doing me any favors". (that's putting it mildly ).

Reset

I love that and will probably steal it at some point.

Thanks.

freshstart57

I am an ex - alcoholic, just part of the bigger picture of being an ex-drinker. It's part of who I am now. Trying to be an ex-alcoholic while continuing to drink, or refusing to quit for good just seemed pointless to me. Even a little silly.

Leaving it at, 'No thanks' is enough. Nobody really cares anyway. NBD to anybody but me.