Gottalife

I cannot understand my own behaviour. I fail to carry out the very things I want to do, and find myself doing the very things I hate. For althought the will to do what is good is in me, the performance is not.

A pretty accurate description of my life in pre-recovery days.

Holds1325

Im the same way sometimes you just have to breathe it all in and just do it anyway even if it sucks, who cares, its hard though to get that mentality, it takes practice,

Also planning too much or setting unrealistic goals can make you feel down, so i think its better just to stick to one thing at a time and commit to doing it, mine is going to my church, sometimes its really difficult to go but I just say oh well im going, it gets easier, then add something else until that gets easy etc.

Notimetoloose

Very accurate...the compulsion to drink even though I did not want to was crazy making....I was always trying to string sober days together because I needed to...literally needed to for every part of my life..I wanted the madness to end.... but geez !!!

Soberwolf

Good post

JaneLane

Like Holds said, try not to set yourself loads to do if you're having problems achieving them. When I was drinking and in very early sobriety, I tried to do everything at once - all the stuff I didn't want to do AND wanted to do, like it was this massive mental to-do list.
Now, I deal with things before they arise (paying my bills every month, food shopping before the cupboard is empty) or when they crop up (dealing with work situations as they happen rather than worrying about if certain things could happen).
Take it easy on yourself :-)

advbike

I agree. I've always been easily frustrated and overwhelmed, and found alcohol to provide relief, so in sobriety I learned to just accept it and keep my life and projects as simple as possible.

holiver

I find this to be very poignant. I feel like a crazy person when I drink because so many parts of me are screaming for me not to do it. The compulsion is very real. It is incredibly self defeating to fail when it's the last thing I want to do.

IOAA2

100% identification!
It’s great when recovery kicked into more rational thinking and actions.
Another great remember when.


BE WELL

thisisme

I found this to be eye popping http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habi.../dp/081298160X
Maybe you will as well.

Gottalife

As an example of what this meant to me, I was an apprentice in my teen years and I knew that getting a trade would be a very good thing for my future. I wanted to do well, do the study, pass my exams. I should have completed that apprenticeship in four years. That is what I wanted to do.

Instead, it took five years to complete, I only passed one exam, frequently turned up at night school drunk and disruptive, missed many days of work, didn,t achieve any of my goals. Sometimes disappearedfor three or four days, and then was too sick to be much use.

I knew the difference between right and wrong. I set out to do the right thing, but found myself unable to carry it off. Nothing worked out as it should have. My workmates didn't seem to have this trouble.