Your ideas, please...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 15
Your ideas, please...
By the way....last night a patient I was assessing suddenly flipped out on me, became aggressive, and threatened to kill me. Luckily, I wasn't hurt, and the police came quickly. The thought crossed my mind at the end of the shift to have a few glasses of wine, but I didn't. Instead, I ate a large chunk of chocolate, watched stupid t-v, then went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, I was still feeling badly about my job, but not about myself. So I do believe it's possible to retrain my brain to respond to stress differently!
Aimee
Now that sounds like a good way to spend the evening! Chocolate!!!
It will get better, you'll begin to adjust, find differnt avenues to entertain, read, movies, gardening, shopping, ... it takes time. I've been there, and it can be frustrating, but it's so worth the continued effort! Your doing good!
Aimee
Now that sounds like a good way to spend the evening! Chocolate!!!
It will get better, you'll begin to adjust, find differnt avenues to entertain, read, movies, gardening, shopping, ... it takes time. I've been there, and it can be frustrating, but it's so worth the continued effort! Your doing good!
Castaway
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 783
Aimee,
Thanks for sharing. I wonder where the fun in life is if I can't drink. So I drink, make a fool of myself, get my kicks, and then it's over. In the meantime, I've hurt everyone I come in contact with because I'm too lazy to work at making life interesting without drugs. And, worse, I'm still asking myself where's the fun in life. And the cycle repeats itself everyday.
That was my life up until a month ago.
Sandy
Thanks for sharing. I wonder where the fun in life is if I can't drink. So I drink, make a fool of myself, get my kicks, and then it's over. In the meantime, I've hurt everyone I come in contact with because I'm too lazy to work at making life interesting without drugs. And, worse, I'm still asking myself where's the fun in life. And the cycle repeats itself everyday.
That was my life up until a month ago.
Sandy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi Aimee...
I was such a gutter drunk that I have many horrible memories to help me remember why I can not drink.
But I still have to push away thoughts that glorify my ealier drinking days before things got out of control.
Champagne and celebrating with friends (or by myself) is one that I have to promptly push out of my thoughts. I did find it very hard to imagine what I would do if i could not have the love of my life "alcohol".
Slowly but surely I am learning to control my thoughts and re-train my brain.
What about doing a yoga video/dvd? I use them as my daily ritual.
They help me to stay centered and focused on my spiritual well being.
You might find this thread helpful....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...steps+buddhism
I do not know where you live but going for a 20 minute walk helps to get the endorphines going and clears the brain of cob webs.
There is a womens meeting on Thursday evening that you might enjoy.
16-steps of discovery and empowerment.
Here are two threads that go with our meeting...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=35882
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=35910
I hope this helps a little...glad you are here....
I was such a gutter drunk that I have many horrible memories to help me remember why I can not drink.
But I still have to push away thoughts that glorify my ealier drinking days before things got out of control.
Champagne and celebrating with friends (or by myself) is one that I have to promptly push out of my thoughts. I did find it very hard to imagine what I would do if i could not have the love of my life "alcohol".
Slowly but surely I am learning to control my thoughts and re-train my brain.
What about doing a yoga video/dvd? I use them as my daily ritual.
They help me to stay centered and focused on my spiritual well being.
You might find this thread helpful....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...steps+buddhism
I do not know where you live but going for a 20 minute walk helps to get the endorphines going and clears the brain of cob webs.
There is a womens meeting on Thursday evening that you might enjoy.
16-steps of discovery and empowerment.
Here are two threads that go with our meeting...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=35882
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=35910
I hope this helps a little...glad you are here....
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Aimee -
I have to say I read your post a few times, trying to understand what you are saying. I am not meaning to be tough here I am just confused. If life is so fun when you drink why are you stopping? There must be something not so fun about it.
For an addict like myself who went to rehab, which I know is not for everyone, that is what worked for me. I had to learn to be bored. I had to learn to deal with life on lifes terms. Everyday is not a circus. My days today consist of work, my home, my husband, his kids when they are here, family, small things that give me enjoyment. but today I deal with things, I remember things, I treat people with respect, which I did not do when I was using.
that is great that you were upset after work but did not drink, be proud of yourself for that, that would have been a great excuse, but you didn't do it. That is something to make your day fun today, to know that you didn't drink.
I wish you the best. Try and look for the positive, I know it is not always easy but that is part of the disease of addiction that we have, to look for the bad and not the good.
I have to say I read your post a few times, trying to understand what you are saying. I am not meaning to be tough here I am just confused. If life is so fun when you drink why are you stopping? There must be something not so fun about it.
For an addict like myself who went to rehab, which I know is not for everyone, that is what worked for me. I had to learn to be bored. I had to learn to deal with life on lifes terms. Everyday is not a circus. My days today consist of work, my home, my husband, his kids when they are here, family, small things that give me enjoyment. but today I deal with things, I remember things, I treat people with respect, which I did not do when I was using.
that is great that you were upset after work but did not drink, be proud of yourself for that, that would have been a great excuse, but you didn't do it. That is something to make your day fun today, to know that you didn't drink.
I wish you the best. Try and look for the positive, I know it is not always easy but that is part of the disease of addiction that we have, to look for the bad and not the good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 15
to clarify...
"I am not meaning to be tough here I am just confused. If life is so fun when you drink why are you stopping? There must be something not so fun about it."
Hi Sandy, Thanks for your response and the encouragement you gave. To my knowledge, I haven't had the experiences of becoming obnoxious and offending people while drinking. When I drink, I get very silly and giggly and sometimes say embarrassing things I regret, or write embarrassing emails I regret...but to my knowledge, I haven't been hurtful.
The reason I want to stop drinking, at least for a few months (as a period of evaluation) is because I've noticed that over the past few years of drinking about 3 (sometimes 4) times a week, my tolerance has increased. It used to be that 2-3 glasses gave me a nice buzz, but now it sometimes can progress to even 5 or 6. I'm concerned about developing tolerance, and the possible medical consequences to my body of drinking 5-6 glasses of wine. That's why I classify myself as a problem drinker...because I don't think it's normal for a woman to be able to drink that much without getting sick, even over a 4-5 hour period with friends. Not to say that I don't have a draggy, crappy feeling the next day, which is reason number two why I want to stop. Reason number three is that I feel I'm getting into the pattern of using wine as a crutch instead of tapping into spiritual resources to deal with stress, and I don't think that's healthy.
Just as an aside...I really could use encouragement now. I've come to this forum on my own free will, and at this point a gentle yet honest approach will go a long way rather than a harsher response. (I'm not saying that I feel anyone has given me a harsh response to any of my posts so far, I guess I'm referring to some of the responses Erin, another newbie, got, and hoping no one lays that sort of thing on me ....)
Thanks!
Aimee
Hi Sandy, Thanks for your response and the encouragement you gave. To my knowledge, I haven't had the experiences of becoming obnoxious and offending people while drinking. When I drink, I get very silly and giggly and sometimes say embarrassing things I regret, or write embarrassing emails I regret...but to my knowledge, I haven't been hurtful.
The reason I want to stop drinking, at least for a few months (as a period of evaluation) is because I've noticed that over the past few years of drinking about 3 (sometimes 4) times a week, my tolerance has increased. It used to be that 2-3 glasses gave me a nice buzz, but now it sometimes can progress to even 5 or 6. I'm concerned about developing tolerance, and the possible medical consequences to my body of drinking 5-6 glasses of wine. That's why I classify myself as a problem drinker...because I don't think it's normal for a woman to be able to drink that much without getting sick, even over a 4-5 hour period with friends. Not to say that I don't have a draggy, crappy feeling the next day, which is reason number two why I want to stop. Reason number three is that I feel I'm getting into the pattern of using wine as a crutch instead of tapping into spiritual resources to deal with stress, and I don't think that's healthy.
Just as an aside...I really could use encouragement now. I've come to this forum on my own free will, and at this point a gentle yet honest approach will go a long way rather than a harsher response. (I'm not saying that I feel anyone has given me a harsh response to any of my posts so far, I guess I'm referring to some of the responses Erin, another newbie, got, and hoping no one lays that sort of thing on me ....)
Thanks!
Aimee
Castaway
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 783
Hi Sandy, Thanks for your response and the encouragement you gave. To my knowledge, I haven't had the experiences of becoming obnoxious and offending people while drinking. When I drink, I get very silly and giggly and sometimes say embarrassing things I regret, or write embarrassing emails I regret...but to my knowledge, I haven't been hurtful.
I'm glad you're reflecting on your behavior and health issues while you're drinking. No matter how hard I tried to reflect on mine, the end result was the same.
Research agrees that a minimal amount of daily wine is healthy, but after that, it's not. So, I guess I figured I can't stop at one glass of wine, so I just gave it all up. It's too much to wrestle with everyday, and I've got a lot of other irons in the fire right now. My entire family line is full of alcohol and drug tendencies and I just need to get out from under all of it before it swallows me up.
You're offering a lot of valid reasons to curtail your consumption or quit, whichever you choose. I think it's wonderful and if you want support from me...you've got it.
I'm sure a good part of this doesn't apply to your situation, but I just wanted to share with you seeing as you're sharing with me.
If you decide today is DAY 1 for you, then come back and tell me it's DAY 1,
I'll be on the horn every day supporting you.
Sandy
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Hey Aimee
All I have to offer is my experience.
I used to drink a little alcohol to calm myself after work (I used to work as a nursing assistant). My tolerance built, slowly but surely. After a few years, I was drinking a large amount every day (I worked night shift), just to "calm my nerves". I knew I was overdoing it and it was becoming a problem, but I wasn't as smart as you. I didn't have the will to stop. Eventually this led to pain pill abuse, benzo abuse, and eventually crack cocaine.
I believe that this started with those few drinks to calm myself.
I, too, came to this forum of my own free will and it has contributed greatly to my sobriety. I have 11 months on the 10th
Congradulations to you for having the strength and will to have this period of abstinance!
I don't know if what I've told you helps any, but I'm hoping so. I was a low bottom drunk when I started my program. All I can say is...... if I can do it, so can you
Please keep posting and reading..... this site is great!
All I have to offer is my experience.
I used to drink a little alcohol to calm myself after work (I used to work as a nursing assistant). My tolerance built, slowly but surely. After a few years, I was drinking a large amount every day (I worked night shift), just to "calm my nerves". I knew I was overdoing it and it was becoming a problem, but I wasn't as smart as you. I didn't have the will to stop. Eventually this led to pain pill abuse, benzo abuse, and eventually crack cocaine.
I believe that this started with those few drinks to calm myself.
I, too, came to this forum of my own free will and it has contributed greatly to my sobriety. I have 11 months on the 10th
Congradulations to you for having the strength and will to have this period of abstinance!
I don't know if what I've told you helps any, but I'm hoping so. I was a low bottom drunk when I started my program. All I can say is...... if I can do it, so can you
Please keep posting and reading..... this site is great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: WS, CO
Posts: 42
Hi Aimee,
For whatever it's worth, one of the things I'm rediscovering to counter the drudgery of everyday chores and stuff is audio tapes/CDs. Everything from motivational tapes to recorded novels helps me be more productive without feeling so dang bored with it all.
Good luck.
Tracy
For whatever it's worth, one of the things I'm rediscovering to counter the drudgery of everyday chores and stuff is audio tapes/CDs. Everything from motivational tapes to recorded novels helps me be more productive without feeling so dang bored with it all.
Good luck.
Tracy
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, Aimee,
The first thing folks usually do at SMART Recovery is write a cost-benefit analysis: they list the costs of drinking (pretty easy if you've been a heavy drinker) and then they try to list the benefits of drinking. I consider the second part the most important, because it tells me what I like about drinking and what I'm going to be 'giving up' by choosing abstinence.
Once you've done that, you can look at the beliefs you have that underlie each perceived benefit. I'm not saying the benefits aren't real; simply that you have beliefs about them and emotional attachments to aspects of drinking. Then you can ask yourself, one by one, whether those beliefs are fully valid or if they can be disputed. And you can make strategies for achieving the same benefits some other way. Chocolate and a stupid tv show is an excellent strategy!
People who successfully quit drinking make lifestyle changes to enhance their commitment to abstinence. They actively, consciously plan for the drinking times. They figure out how to achieve the same benefits they used to get from drinking. They actively plan for urges and drinking situations in which they will have to say 'no, thanks'.
In my own case, it involved changing my shopping patterns, taking a slower route home, going for a walk in our local arboretum, stopping at a news kiosk or bookstore nearly every evening, and having something in mind to do to relax and unwind (which drinking was a big part of for me) at the end of the day. It also involved having some snack foods and juices on hand for the early evening, and some herbal teas to help get to sleep. These sound like mundane things, but they all added up to reinforce my decision.
I also did (and do) something every day to reinforce my sobriety--reading about substance abuse, emailing my sober online friends, or just reading and posting at forum boards. So forums like this were an integral part of my process. I hope that they'll be part of yours, because you are a great addition here!
Don S
The first thing folks usually do at SMART Recovery is write a cost-benefit analysis: they list the costs of drinking (pretty easy if you've been a heavy drinker) and then they try to list the benefits of drinking. I consider the second part the most important, because it tells me what I like about drinking and what I'm going to be 'giving up' by choosing abstinence.
Once you've done that, you can look at the beliefs you have that underlie each perceived benefit. I'm not saying the benefits aren't real; simply that you have beliefs about them and emotional attachments to aspects of drinking. Then you can ask yourself, one by one, whether those beliefs are fully valid or if they can be disputed. And you can make strategies for achieving the same benefits some other way. Chocolate and a stupid tv show is an excellent strategy!
People who successfully quit drinking make lifestyle changes to enhance their commitment to abstinence. They actively, consciously plan for the drinking times. They figure out how to achieve the same benefits they used to get from drinking. They actively plan for urges and drinking situations in which they will have to say 'no, thanks'.
In my own case, it involved changing my shopping patterns, taking a slower route home, going for a walk in our local arboretum, stopping at a news kiosk or bookstore nearly every evening, and having something in mind to do to relax and unwind (which drinking was a big part of for me) at the end of the day. It also involved having some snack foods and juices on hand for the early evening, and some herbal teas to help get to sleep. These sound like mundane things, but they all added up to reinforce my decision.
I also did (and do) something every day to reinforce my sobriety--reading about substance abuse, emailing my sober online friends, or just reading and posting at forum boards. So forums like this were an integral part of my process. I hope that they'll be part of yours, because you are a great addition here!
Don S
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
(((Aimee))) I'm glad you've recognized the progression in your drinking. I believe it to be a progressive disease. I had noticed in myself, that my drinking slowly increased. The progression then turned from a slow increase, to a rapid one. It's good you are willing to assess your drinking and take the proper actions. I think you will learn alot about yourself and your alchohol use, throughout your assessment. I wish you the best of luck. Continue your research on alcoholism and its abuse. The knowledge you acquire, you will find quite beneficial to you. Take care...
Talia
Talia
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Hi Aimee, for me the fun you mentioned started to fade as I became more and more tolerant. It used to be really fun! But in the later stages, the negative effects starting outweighing the fun by a large proportion. Early on afer I quit drinking, I also thought life would be dull, and I would have no "escape". It was dull at first. Despite all the damage drinking caused me, I felt sad about never dinking again. But those thoughts and obsessions about alcohol have faded now. Today I am healthier, I have more energy, I have no more hangovers. I have found other enjoyable activities that I have been missing out on. Give it time. Commit to working a recovery program, and can re-learn how to have fun in sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 15
thanks everyone...
I appreciate the support and positive responses most of you have expressed.
I've gone 5 days without looking to alcohol as a tool of stress management. In a way, that's not a big deal, because I've gone longer than 5 days without drinking (gave up alcohol for Lent), but this time around I hope to abstain for at least 3 months, and I'm glad I'm off to a good start. Support helps.
I do enjoy a lot of activites mentioned...listening to music, meditation, exercise, etc. It's just that somewhere along the line during the past year or two I've come to believe that alcohol makes those activities more enjoyable. My pastor says I need to "re-format" my thinking, and learn to enjoy pleasurable activities for their own sake, apart from enhancement from alcohol. I can relate to the idea of "re-formatting," because I can get stuck in unhealthy thinking patterns. I can also choose to change my way of thinking (with the grace of God).
Have a good weekend, everyone.
I've gone 5 days without looking to alcohol as a tool of stress management. In a way, that's not a big deal, because I've gone longer than 5 days without drinking (gave up alcohol for Lent), but this time around I hope to abstain for at least 3 months, and I'm glad I'm off to a good start. Support helps.
I do enjoy a lot of activites mentioned...listening to music, meditation, exercise, etc. It's just that somewhere along the line during the past year or two I've come to believe that alcohol makes those activities more enjoyable. My pastor says I need to "re-format" my thinking, and learn to enjoy pleasurable activities for their own sake, apart from enhancement from alcohol. I can relate to the idea of "re-formatting," because I can get stuck in unhealthy thinking patterns. I can also choose to change my way of thinking (with the grace of God).
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Aimee Congrats on the 5 days!! I like the re-formatting idea. Have a great Sober weekend! I always love to get up early on a weekend, walk outside and and smell the fresh air. No hangover to pull me down.
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