Ared83

I've talked on here before, but not for a while. I drink every evening, and I drink a lot. I'm only 21 years old, and I've been drinking heavily and daily for 3 years. Every night at 10 PM I start to drink, I don't drink during the day, only late at night. I drink on average anywhere from 6-8 drinks per night, on a rare occasion 9 drinks (1.5 oz of vodka). During the day I feel like hell, I want to drink sooo bad during the day, but i just tell myself no because I don't want to be drinking and have alcohol in my system all the time. So I always tell myself to wait until the evenings then the symptoms will get better. During the day I want to die, I sweat, I'm anxious, I can't focus, I'm antsy, I get dizzy and I can never get still. When I feel dizzy I get even more anxious, it feels like the room at times doesn't sit still. Some days are fine, but others are worse. Is it normal for some days to be worse than other days in my current situation. Because some days I only feel like I'm in a fog, but no anxiety and no dizziness, but other days its hell with the anxiety and dizziness when not drinking. I'm just sick of this **** and I wish it would end but I always go back, day after day. I never talk anymore, I don't go out with friends, I haven't talked to my parents for a long time, only simple yes's and no's. I've tried quiting drinking, but only to go back. I hate my life, even though I have it good money wise and I have a wonderful family, I still hate my life.

splendra

((((Ared))))

You are not alone please keep posting we are here for you.

My name is Lisa I am a ex drinker/pothead/meth addict I used to drink a 5th of tequillia and a case of beer everyday and used dope almost daily too. I got sick of it and tired of the hangovers and spending all my money on drinking and drugging.

I am very greatful that I am clean now for 19yrs. The first couple of months were tough coming off the booze and dope but, life for me got much better and it can for you too...

Ared83

I used to remember when I was happy, but it's so far away.......Every night I drink I know booze sucks, I feel like **** when I drink, and I feel even more worse when I don't. I don't know what to do, I love my family and I'm ashamed to be like this towards them, I feel like I'm trapped in a cage and it's all a perpetual cycle that I cannot escape.............I hope God forgives me...........I feel to sick to stop drinking, so thats why i keep drinking..........

splendra

Ared-

The lock is on the inside of the door and you have the key. If you are sick of drinking and want to quit you have to want to quit more than you want to use. Your miracle is waiting for ya come on....

Anna

Hi Ared,

You are trapped in a cage right now, and it's called alcoholism. I know because I've been there in that cage and I agree with you, it's awful. My thoughts were always about alcohol and I felt so bad, but I didn't stop. The good news is that you can stop, you can take a step out of the vicious cycle and start to regain control of your life. You're young and you have your family behind you. You can do this.

Try not to think long-term. Just for today, don't drink. You'll be so glad you took the step. We're here to offer support.

Love, Anna

boop64132

Welcome Ared!

You have taken a step just by being here and wanting to stop drinking.
The next step is not too far up.
Like Anna said....just dont drink for today,Or tonight.
We are here for you!

TorontoGuy28

Ared,

Welcome to SR, I am a 29 year old alcoholic.

Don't give up on yourself !!! You are worth making the chage... This place is incredible for support...

All the best.

TG28

Peter

Your desire to drink is so overwhealming right now that it may be impossible for you to stop on your own.

I suggest you get in touch with Alcoholics Anonymous in your area and get some support from people who have been exactly where you are.

On line is good but from what you have described you may need some kind of twenty four hour support system.AA helped me at a time when I too thought my life was over.

Dont give up and keep posting ok.

Paulie

I agree with Peter. For some, like myself, the face to face supporty is invaluable.

Please keep posting and get some help. You are worth it, we all are. We were all put on this earth for a reason.

junem

Ared
I agree with the others. Reach out for help from all avenues. AA your doctor treatment center..... We manage not to drink on a day to day basis only with the help of our support networks we have built around us. Don't worry that you need God's forgiveness. This is not a moral issue. Alcoholism is a disease and therefore there is nothing to forgive. We are all routing for you.

1Marty

I can relate to the insane cycle you describe well. Keep reaching out for help, others have been where you are. As others have mentioned, this is very tough to fight alone. I have been helped a lot by the AA program. best of luck.

Chy

What Peter and Paulie said! There is help, you don't have to do this alone, a detox center will be a great help as will AA. Make the call k? Life will get better, promise!