sleepie

I hope June will be my month of no drinking. I get closer each month.
I have been a little stressed out. Had nightmares all last night of my father trying to murder me. Which I as afraid of at times as a child but that was so long ago.
So my recent slip I attribute to loneliness- because the one day I finally got to be out and be free it was like I went nuts because "Oh my gosh not a ten hour work day I have ONE day off!!!" So I finally got to go be around some people and was enjoying myself and just could not say goodbye to the one night I got to be out. I went to work at another job the next day and worked most of my days off.
And my main gig is extremely lonely yet irritating with customer service. So that makes a steady two out of 4 for HALT. Lonely and angry. Well not angry but extremely irritated.

I am looking for a different job as usual but feel almost ill at the thought of yet more change.

The past year has brought several job changes, brief homelessness, living without heat for a portion of the winter, low wages, long work hours, a crazy screaming boss... now in the process of a benzo taper...

I'm so tired.

zjw

You are getting closer and doing well your last stretch of sobriety was pretty awesome I think in just that short period of time you grew a lot. At least from my perspective reading your posts

I'm sorry about your father issues. I once told a friend of mind some of my child hood horors and he told me that he woulda slept with a knife under his pill and you know for a brief moment i got mad that I had not thought of that! Sick as that is. I'm so glad my past is behind me. While your upbringing might have stunk at least that behind you to some degree your not still in the thick of it.

Yeah I know this tired feeling. But you know somehow you keep getting back up and sluggen through another day. Sometimes you gotta reach deep sometimes you dont have much fight in ya but you still get up and keep moving forward somehow. Despite the odds your still here your still worken hard etc.. thats a pretty big deal.

hang in there

least

Make June your month.

Hevyn

We know you can do it sleepie, there is no doubt.

Impurrfect

You can do this, Sleepie. When there are times that you don't believe it yourself, come here. We've been through similar situations and we are here for you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Chrissy2014

Sleepie i believe In u...if ur not sober now, review these posts and make a plan for tomorrow to be free.