Soberintexas007

Well, I relapsed on alcohol on my cruise in mid March. The trigger to my relapse was after I had lost a large sum of money gambling. I was never honest on this site before about my gambling addiction. So, even though I was sober from alcohol and racking up the days, I knew that my sobriety was not really genuine since I was getting high from gambling each day betting on sports and blackjack, whether online or in the casino. It was also a big gambling loss that caused my relapse to alcohol a couple years ago after I had over a year of sobriety.

So, what have I learned?

Well, I now identify as a compulsive gambler and attend Gambler's Anonymous as well as individual counseling. I know that I am not truly sober when I am gambling and also that I will just eventually go back to alcohol after a gambling loss. Also, I began to lose a lot of money gambling and fortunately was able to pay off all of my gambling losses this past week from my CD account. I currently have 2 days of sobriety from not placing any bets.

I have also recently gone back to AA meetings after becoming a daily drinker in the past two weeks and passing/blacking out at night. It was so terrible to return to those night of restless sleeping, anxiety, depression, and hangovers that caused me to call in sick to work. I am currently on my 4th day of sobriety from alcohol, and it took me going to 4 meetings in the past 4 days to get through the daily cravings that were so powerful.

I am glad that I was finally able to post and be honest about my situation here on SR. Although I am happy to have 4 days, I am also nervous that I will not make it and return to drinking and a life of despair.

IOAA2

Hi.

“I am also nervous that I will not make it and return to drinking and a life of despair.”

It was suggested to me that I had to want to stay sober more than I wanted to drink.
This requires work if you’re an alcoholic, I was wishy washy about being and getting sober until the inner pain became so great and I didn’t think I could become sober at which point I surrendered to the fact that alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious and I cannot drink in safety.

I also realized that any day I’m drinking is the best I will ever feel again.

BE WELL

Bh28

Forget about the money. My parents were self employed for 18 years, and they put money into my savings account since I was 10. Age 29 I withdrew and blew the lot.

£26,000 ($39,486.2). **** happens.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 4 stick close to SR keep it up with mtns and dont look back friend

Welcome bk

Hawkeye13

Hi JB
It isn't easy dealing with multiple addictions and
a spouse who is alcoholic on top of that. You are strong person.

You have a great deal of sober time before this relapse and that can be built upon positively.

Sending you many good wishes for success--

puffy

Hi JustBreathe. I followed you on the other thread. We have a little in common with having to deal with the AH as well. I was wondering how your cruise went since I knew you had some concerns. However, now it is time to concentrate on you. You've done it before, you can do it again. You GOT THIS. You are already taking steps. Please keep coming back and posting. There is a lot of support and better days ahead.
Much compassion,
Puffy

fluffyflea

Keep going to meetings, A.A and G.A. Really important.

Get phone numbers, pick up the 500 pound phone and call people.

Do the first 3 Steps.

Soberintexas007

Thank you. I lost around $3,100. Sucks that I lost it, so I took it out of my CD account that I had before I got married.

Soberintexas007

Thank you. The cruise went pretty well, other than the fact that I relapsed on the second day after my gambling loss. Ideally, my husband would have drank less, but he drank what he did. He never got too out of control, just got a little impatient at times when he was drinking and things did not go his way. But I now need to focus on me and not him, as I need to stay sober from alcohol and gambling or else I will lose a lot in my life. I am already looking into sponsors for AA and going to meetings. I will go to my one GA meeting each week and will work the steps in that program later on. I am also in individual counseling for my gambling addiction with an addiction counselor one day each week.

Soberintexas007

Well, I have made it to Day 5 of sobriety from alcohol and 4 days from gambling. I have always been concerned about staying thin, and so I have been running each day and tend to not eat a lot during the day. This lowers my blood sugar level, which is why my body craves alcohol, as it knows alcohol will relieve my low blood sugar. So, after I eat a nice dinner, I feel nice and satiated, and the cravings are also gone. Just something I learned today that I wanted to share. It is nice to know that the cravings will go away once I eat something. Went to another AA meeting today and feeling better overall. I am starting to have more faith that I can do this, and this time without gambling.

Cathryn2001

I always felt much better, cravings-wise, after eating. Continue to take care of yourself. You can do this.