April202015

Thought I would write here.
Drinking has become problematic for me. I realize that, although I am progressing in life, I am stuck in certain parts. Academically/career wise, I'm moving forward. Emotionally and psychologically, I'm still in areas of my life that I should have let go of. Drinking has never really brought anything good into my life. Now, it is at a place of danger. Not such much the quantity, but the manner in which I consume. I like being alone when I drink, I lie about it, I hide it...there is some pain somewhere and drinking promises to help heal it, but it just isolate me with the pain and that merely exasperates it. I know this, I can see this... just get fooled ever time.
I have to stop. I have tried in the past, but have fallen. I don't want to keep falling, I'm tired of dusting myself off and beginning again.
I want to try AA. I'm a little worried...

It's nice to meet you all. I'm glad that I've found this place.

ScottFromWI

Welcome April. Many of us have been exactly where you are right now, and it's completely normal to feel afraid/worried. Drinking can make the anxiety and just about everything worse as you progress too. You will find a lot of support here, and if you think AA is something you'd like to try that sounds like a great idea too. Google for meetings in your area and even call ahead if you have questions, someone can probably even meet you privately before the meeting if you are apprehensive.

The good news is that you can break free of alcohol, many of us have and it's worth the initial discomfort many times over.

April202015

Thank you, Scott..
I can trace the lines back to when I first started drinking... but how it became so habitual, so controlling and manipulative is beyond me.
I think of myself as a strong peron, but I honestly fear I've met my match here.

zjw

you quit one day at a time or one min at a time even. breaking the cycle once your on the other side no matter how much your AV trys to trick you into drinking dont buy into it life on the other side really is better.

good job coming here and looking for support it'll help.

April202015

Thank you for your words, zjw. I feel like I have to make up for lost time, or something; That I need to gain back the years lost And grow, move onward. But you're totally right: one minute at a time, moment by moment, making the choice to remain sober!

Littlebear

Welcome April to SR. I am quite new myself here and to stopping drinking but i wanted to just say hello and encourage you to use this site a lot. There are many here who have a lot of experience of staying sober and all the trickiness of managing that. They will help you with this process. Hope to see you post some more...

AutumnWillow

Welcome April. I am really new as well and I have found that coming to SR has really helped.

April202015

Thank you, Little & Autumn! I feel lucky to have found this forum!

Soberwolf

Welcome April its nice to meet you

April202015

Thanks Wolf! Likewise! It seems you have shared a lot of wisdom : 20k+ posts! I might call upon you to share some knowledge in the coming days and weeks.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're(all) here, welcome!

Sobriety is a commitment to change from the point of where we all started from. You are not alone when you drank alone, so to speak. Pretty common for us

Good news! None of us have to quit alone = it's a WE thing !

Keep posting - Little, Autumn and April!!!

awuh1

It's quite normal to feel anything from mild apprehension to abject terror at the thought of going to your first AA meeting. It's also quite normal to find yourself welcomed with open arms by folks who have been where you are now and understand you. Just one piece of advice, if you go, tell them it's your first meeting (then come back and tell us how it went).

All the best to you.

Hevyn

Great to meet you April. You're never alone - this is a wonderful place to talk things over & get support 24/7.

Sudz No More

Glad you found and joined us April, you'll find lots of great insight here. We're here to lean on when you need to not feel alone in this. We've all been right where you are, there really is life without alcohol. If groups make you uncomfortable you could always try the psychologist route. Have that one on one connection with someone helped me to feel accountable for my actions until I was far enough away from the last drink to break the chains.