How Long 'Til Sober Feels Normal?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 58
How Long 'Til Sober Feels Normal?
I'm 12 days sober, and feel MUCH better physically, emotionally, cognitively.
Have an occasional craving, but it's not overwhelming.
I'm taking things slow, allowing myself to "convalesce." Eat a lot, sleep a lot, avoid taking on unnecessary challenges.
It's not too unpleasant. But every second I'm thinking, "Wow. I'm sober. I'm not drinking." I'm constantly aware of not drinking. I'm not doing much except not drinking.
Tell me your thoughts and experiences. How long does it take until not drinking feels normal and you can just go on with life, sober?
Have an occasional craving, but it's not overwhelming.
I'm taking things slow, allowing myself to "convalesce." Eat a lot, sleep a lot, avoid taking on unnecessary challenges.
It's not too unpleasant. But every second I'm thinking, "Wow. I'm sober. I'm not drinking." I'm constantly aware of not drinking. I'm not doing much except not drinking.
Tell me your thoughts and experiences. How long does it take until not drinking feels normal and you can just go on with life, sober?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and congratulations.
Each person is unique and reacts some what differently. Perhaps if you continue with what your doing and have a “day at a time” attitude it might be less conserning.
Some people are not comfortable for long periods.
BE WELL
Each person is unique and reacts some what differently. Perhaps if you continue with what your doing and have a “day at a time” attitude it might be less conserning.
Some people are not comfortable for long periods.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
12 days - Congrats!
It took me about a month to feel like I was beginning to mend. My sleep was all over the place and so were my emotions in that first month.
About month four I started to feel like my old self - but it took a couple more months until the thoughts of drinking weren't front and center.
Just take it a day at a time and don't drink today. It is a process: little by little you will be amazed. It is really helpful to me to eat healthy, homemade meals and to exercise regularly.
It took me about a month to feel like I was beginning to mend. My sleep was all over the place and so were my emotions in that first month.
About month four I started to feel like my old self - but it took a couple more months until the thoughts of drinking weren't front and center.
Just take it a day at a time and don't drink today. It is a process: little by little you will be amazed. It is really helpful to me to eat healthy, homemade meals and to exercise regularly.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Welcome to the board, LaTraviata 
It sounds like you are already in a good track if you feel better in so many ways. As for "normal" -- that is hard to define to start with... and in my experience with people's progress here on SR, it really varies, depending on many factors. For me, I think I stopped obsessing with not drinking pretty much around 5-6 months (that was around the time when my cravings very significantly dissipated and managing abstinence had become quite easy), despite having gone through a few emotionally trying periods during that time and later. I consider these latter challenges part of normal life now and I actually welcome the emotions for the most part; if they are extreme, I try to do something about it. One "skill" that I am very happy about now in terms of sobriety is that I think I've become very good at recognizing thought and behavioral patterns that were associated with my active alcoholism in the past, even very subtle ones, and I always do something to not let them develop too far.
I still have the occasional thoughts of drinking (~14 months) but they are very rare and don't seem to have much power or influence on me and my commitment to sobriety now. Still like to observe and acknowledge the moments and have not become overly confident, but I really have not had obsessive, persistent thoughts or fears about drinking or getting drunk since that 5-6 months period. I would say perhaps the sooner you start to find your sober life fulfilling and better than the drinking one, the better.
There is something else I would suggest to you besides keeping up your recovery work since you are still very early. Try not to question or doubt yourself and your progress too obsessively, try not to wonder when things would become "normal", because that mental state itself can lead to never feeling at peace. Just keep doing the work and keep sobriety in your focus, but do not let yourself get extremely anxious if possible.
From what I read here, and from my own experience, you will recognize when that time comes, when "being in recovery" is no longer super hard work, but a rather smooth part of everyday life. I still struggle with some other obsessional tendencies that I am trying to address now, and have no problem viewing life as continuous challenge as long as it lasts. But I'm pretty good with sobriety and with the knowledge and toolkit I've developed to protect my sobriety.
It's a very personal journey.
It sounds like you are already in a good track if you feel better in so many ways. As for "normal" -- that is hard to define to start with... and in my experience with people's progress here on SR, it really varies, depending on many factors. For me, I think I stopped obsessing with not drinking pretty much around 5-6 months (that was around the time when my cravings very significantly dissipated and managing abstinence had become quite easy), despite having gone through a few emotionally trying periods during that time and later. I consider these latter challenges part of normal life now and I actually welcome the emotions for the most part; if they are extreme, I try to do something about it. One "skill" that I am very happy about now in terms of sobriety is that I think I've become very good at recognizing thought and behavioral patterns that were associated with my active alcoholism in the past, even very subtle ones, and I always do something to not let them develop too far.
I still have the occasional thoughts of drinking (~14 months) but they are very rare and don't seem to have much power or influence on me and my commitment to sobriety now. Still like to observe and acknowledge the moments and have not become overly confident, but I really have not had obsessive, persistent thoughts or fears about drinking or getting drunk since that 5-6 months period. I would say perhaps the sooner you start to find your sober life fulfilling and better than the drinking one, the better.
There is something else I would suggest to you besides keeping up your recovery work since you are still very early. Try not to question or doubt yourself and your progress too obsessively, try not to wonder when things would become "normal", because that mental state itself can lead to never feeling at peace. Just keep doing the work and keep sobriety in your focus, but do not let yourself get extremely anxious if possible.
From what I read here, and from my own experience, you will recognize when that time comes, when "being in recovery" is no longer super hard work, but a rather smooth part of everyday life. I still struggle with some other obsessional tendencies that I am trying to address now, and have no problem viewing life as continuous challenge as long as it lasts. But I'm pretty good with sobriety and with the knowledge and toolkit I've developed to protect my sobriety.
It's a very personal journey.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Around the two week mark I found all my senses to be hyper acute. The sky was bluer, the sun brighter, the air fresher, the touch of a loved one softer, than anything I remembered since I was a child. In that way, my life has continued to expand and open as I have accepted opportunities and challenges which had been refused for decades.
My life changes constantly now and I welcome change instead of fearing it, so 'normal' doesn't have the same meaning for me it used to have.
I think it is so important to be gentle with yourself. That excited child inside you is alive again, and needs your support. She will look after you in turn, and show you your way forward. Onward!
My life changes constantly now and I welcome change instead of fearing it, so 'normal' doesn't have the same meaning for me it used to have.
I think it is so important to be gentle with yourself. That excited child inside you is alive again, and needs your support. She will look after you in turn, and show you your way forward. Onward!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i guess as time went on for me i started to fill the void left by drinking with other activities. eventually those new habits / activities became the new norm. But there was more to it then just that for me. once the new habits where in place and such i also had to get to know thisnew person that process has been on going.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hello LaTraviata!
I felt just like you describe at 12 days. It took me longer than most to feel normal, or to stop obsessing about drinking/not drinking. That's because I'd been at it for decades & it was part of everything I did. I'd say at 4-5 mos. I started to come around. It's amazing, the thing I couldn't live without hardly crosses my mind now.
Congrats on your 12 days!
I felt just like you describe at 12 days. It took me longer than most to feel normal, or to stop obsessing about drinking/not drinking.
That's because I'd been at it for decades & it was part of everything I did. I'd say at 4-5 mos. I started to come around. It's amazing, the thing I couldn't live without hardly crosses my mind now.Congrats on your 12 days!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Well, how long have you been drinking?
For me, it was 40 years. 40 years under the influence. I have no idea what normal feels like. I'm looking for it, though.
That's what you should do. Seek your new "normal".
For me, it was 40 years. 40 years under the influence. I have no idea what normal feels like. I'm looking for it, though.
That's what you should do. Seek your new "normal".
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 58
Thank you, all.
Wow, Trachemys, hat's off to you for digging in after 40 years!! In answer to your question, I drank daily, heavily, for 25 years, with one 30-day and one 14-day period of abstinence as part of failed moderation efforts.
I'm 48 years old. So, 25 of my 48 years were spent either drunk or hungover, or both at the same time.
So, yeah... It'll be an adjustment.
Wow, Trachemys, hat's off to you for digging in after 40 years!! In answer to your question, I drank daily, heavily, for 25 years, with one 30-day and one 14-day period of abstinence as part of failed moderation efforts.
I'm 48 years old. So, 25 of my 48 years were spent either drunk or hungover, or both at the same time.
So, yeah... It'll be an adjustment.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Many new to sobriety ask this question. I understand for you remind me of me. Seems that most truly feel at ease in their sobriety somewhere between the 6 to 12 month mark. Many will think that they have it all together before then, only to take it all for granted and wonder why they drank again.
MM
MM
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
For me, things started to improve faster after 90 days or so. It's a good thing because I thought I was going to lose my mind thinking about not drinking all the time. It was beyond boring. Now I just enjoy being glad that I don't drink, especially in the morning, when I approach each day hangover free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
29 months sober and I don't really know what is supposed to be normal. Normal for me was intoxication for 30 plus years. Probably took a couple months to get over the initial shock. Probably around 6 months to not be preoccupied by it all and about a year for thing to seem to be firing on all cylinders. Most of the time. IMO Normal's overrated.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: ask
Posts: 23
O don't know....I used to be hungover and sober about 3 days a week LOL.
By the 4th week of not drinking at all I was starting to figure out I wasn't going to be hungover the next day.....I spent the last few years planning around hangovers. I would never make Monday appointments and always dreaded waking up in the mornings not feeling good. After doing that for a few years you get used to it. I can't count how many times the past 10 weeks ive thought "Nope can't plan that, i'll be to hungover" Then realizing OH YEAH I WONT BE HUNG OVER!
So I'm still sorta figuring it out myself.
By the 4th week of not drinking at all I was starting to figure out I wasn't going to be hungover the next day.....I spent the last few years planning around hangovers. I would never make Monday appointments and always dreaded waking up in the mornings not feeling good. After doing that for a few years you get used to it. I can't count how many times the past 10 weeks ive thought "Nope can't plan that, i'll be to hungover" Then realizing OH YEAH I WONT BE HUNG OVER!
So I'm still sorta figuring it out myself.
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