The Ancient Dragon awaits...
Fallen Knight
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: The deep dark of Moria
Posts: 32
Thank you for your kind words. It's been a few weeks now that I've been on the meds (Doc just doubled the dose this week) and things are going very well. I'm still dry (almost a month now I think) for which I am very grateful. I took the next step and informed those closest to me (family and a few chosen close friends) of my illness. The dose was doubled as I am still experiencing episodes of mania, though not as severe as before. During a discussion with my wife last night I got so excited about something that words started to fail me. I took a deep breath and started over.
Though the medication has helped, the knowledge and insight I gained once I was diagnosed are truly what have had the most impact on a daily basis. I am more educated on the subject matter of substance abuse as well as bipolar disorder, and I am able to recognize certain behavior patters. Rather than becoming scared and frustrated, I am able to be more objective in analyzing the behavior as well as seeking out the root cause (if applicable). There are still times that I get very agitated and angry without (seeming) due cause. Those times I am able to "forgive" myself for feeling the way I do due to my illness. It helps me detach myself from the anger or agitation which in turn greatly improves my ability to cope with it.
My study of Buddhism has also been of great help in dealing with anger, as Buddhism (in my interpretation) teaches us to detach ourselves from anger via meditation (among other things). It teaches us to analyze the source of the anger, and in turn, to acknowledge the anger as an entity that allows us to exercise our ability to deal with and accept such a strong emotion.
It is truly as though Atlas himself has lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders. I am able to discuss matters without emotional attachment when appropriate, and I am able to convery/feel emotion when it is appropriate. I feel a sense of balance that I have not felt in a very long time. It is as though I have regained to the ability to be objective, something I'd found nearly impossible to achieve and maintain prior to the diagnosis and medication.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and well wishes. To those of you struggling know this: from great struggle is born an even greater reward. Remember to have faith in yourself, and remember to be kind to others.
~Peace~
Though the medication has helped, the knowledge and insight I gained once I was diagnosed are truly what have had the most impact on a daily basis. I am more educated on the subject matter of substance abuse as well as bipolar disorder, and I am able to recognize certain behavior patters. Rather than becoming scared and frustrated, I am able to be more objective in analyzing the behavior as well as seeking out the root cause (if applicable). There are still times that I get very agitated and angry without (seeming) due cause. Those times I am able to "forgive" myself for feeling the way I do due to my illness. It helps me detach myself from the anger or agitation which in turn greatly improves my ability to cope with it.
My study of Buddhism has also been of great help in dealing with anger, as Buddhism (in my interpretation) teaches us to detach ourselves from anger via meditation (among other things). It teaches us to analyze the source of the anger, and in turn, to acknowledge the anger as an entity that allows us to exercise our ability to deal with and accept such a strong emotion.
It is truly as though Atlas himself has lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders. I am able to discuss matters without emotional attachment when appropriate, and I am able to convery/feel emotion when it is appropriate. I feel a sense of balance that I have not felt in a very long time. It is as though I have regained to the ability to be objective, something I'd found nearly impossible to achieve and maintain prior to the diagnosis and medication.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and well wishes. To those of you struggling know this: from great struggle is born an even greater reward. Remember to have faith in yourself, and remember to be kind to others.
~Peace~
Fallen Knight
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: The deep dark of Moria
Posts: 32
I'm starting to become uncomfortable with being in the proverbial 'spotlight' in my family. Though I'm eternally grateful for their support, part of my healing will have to include some sort return to ordinary living where I'm not the focus of attention. I had a great conversation with my folks (unfortunately it was over the phone as they live 2000+ miles away) in which I divulged my two-fold illness (bipolar alcoholic). Every time we have spoken since they have reminded me to take my medication, as well as given me a mini-lecture about why I should take my medication. All other son-parents issues aside, it's becoming annoying. Note to self: when commencing
I hope you are all doing well, staying sober and feeling strong.
~Peace and Love~
I hope you are all doing well, staying sober and feeling strong.
~Peace and Love~
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Great seeing you doing so well.
Not counting the days... Well I guess that is on target as the only day that matters is this day. Keep up the good work.
Two points....
You are in recovery and have learned/are learning how things work, solutions.
They don't know the answers as we do so as best they can, they are trying to help.
Ohhh no how can I help? ahhh remind him to take his pills.
ok now how can I help more? argh? I don't know?
ok I will remind him to take his pills again.
As much of a pain as it may feel to you... remember why they are being the way they are..... Just trying to help in the only way they know how.
Maybe try a ... Thank you...so what is new in your world? What did you do today? Change the focus towards them.
Not counting the days... Well I guess that is on target as the only day that matters is this day. Keep up the good work.
Two points....
You are in recovery and have learned/are learning how things work, solutions.
They don't know the answers as we do so as best they can, they are trying to help.
Ohhh no how can I help? ahhh remind him to take his pills.
ok now how can I help more? argh? I don't know?
ok I will remind him to take his pills again.
As much of a pain as it may feel to you... remember why they are being the way they are..... Just trying to help in the only way they know how.
Maybe try a ... Thank you...so what is new in your world? What did you do today? Change the focus towards them.
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