The Drive
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 33
The Drive
It is 3:25pm.
I left my work at 3:05pm.
I drove down to get my mail. I have to pass a liquor store and a beer store to get there. It's a small town in Northern Ontario there is no other choice but to cross the tracks which is right next to the beer store.
I saw that place and I thought of how great it would feel to slam back a Heineken or twelve and destroy the day.
I did not stop at the beer store, I drove past to get my mail.
My dark side spoke to me and said, "it's fun do it", "you deserve to have a good time do it", "you don't have to work tomorrow do it", "today was incredibly hard do it", "you just worked seven days in a row, four of them were on call do it".
I didn't, but I also didn't drive straight home. I turned at the stop sign and started driving back to the beer store. "no one will know, it'll be our secret do it", "you don't have to justify yourself to anyone you are a free man and if you want to drink do it", "we can always just set back our sobriety date on the forum do it" 'NO!' I said firmly as I drove passed the beer store again without stopping.
I drove up the hill, took two lefts and was heading back to the beer store a third time (this was the longest route).
This time I did the talking... to myself... in my car alone with my dark side.
"Listen, I know you want to binge drink and I want to binge drink too but the costs are too high and after over a decade of abuse the answer is No.
Yes, it would be fun to drink, getting drunk is fun but being drunk is misery and being hungover is far worse. I know you and I think we want to drink but realistically what we really want is the friendships and good times that we had when we first started binging. Our life is different now and so is our drinking. Our drinking pushed us away from humanity and it has terrible health costs. We've seen first hand in the hospital the harm that alcohol abuse causes. Do you want to suffer bleeding esophageal varices? Do you want to suffer liver cirrhosis? Do you want to aspirate in your sleep? Do you want to nuke your brain?
No, I don't think so, neither do I. That is why we are going home, that is why we are going to write on the forum and that is why we are not stopping at the beer store."
I drove home feeling both a sense of victory and yet longing for the narcotic I chose to love and hate in my past.
I left my work at 3:05pm.
I drove down to get my mail. I have to pass a liquor store and a beer store to get there. It's a small town in Northern Ontario there is no other choice but to cross the tracks which is right next to the beer store.
I saw that place and I thought of how great it would feel to slam back a Heineken or twelve and destroy the day.
I did not stop at the beer store, I drove past to get my mail.
My dark side spoke to me and said, "it's fun do it", "you deserve to have a good time do it", "you don't have to work tomorrow do it", "today was incredibly hard do it", "you just worked seven days in a row, four of them were on call do it".
I didn't, but I also didn't drive straight home. I turned at the stop sign and started driving back to the beer store. "no one will know, it'll be our secret do it", "you don't have to justify yourself to anyone you are a free man and if you want to drink do it", "we can always just set back our sobriety date on the forum do it" 'NO!' I said firmly as I drove passed the beer store again without stopping.
I drove up the hill, took two lefts and was heading back to the beer store a third time (this was the longest route).
This time I did the talking... to myself... in my car alone with my dark side.
"Listen, I know you want to binge drink and I want to binge drink too but the costs are too high and after over a decade of abuse the answer is No.
Yes, it would be fun to drink, getting drunk is fun but being drunk is misery and being hungover is far worse. I know you and I think we want to drink but realistically what we really want is the friendships and good times that we had when we first started binging. Our life is different now and so is our drinking. Our drinking pushed us away from humanity and it has terrible health costs. We've seen first hand in the hospital the harm that alcohol abuse causes. Do you want to suffer bleeding esophageal varices? Do you want to suffer liver cirrhosis? Do you want to aspirate in your sleep? Do you want to nuke your brain?
No, I don't think so, neither do I. That is why we are going home, that is why we are going to write on the forum and that is why we are not stopping at the beer store."
I drove home feeling both a sense of victory and yet longing for the narcotic I chose to love and hate in my past.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yep as the late robin williams said its like that voice you hear when you look over the edge of a tall building looking down and it says "Jump" "you can fly" and you think about it for a second. Its insanity it really is but you actually think about it for a second.
Same with drinking the voice says go for it. its totally insane! but you give it serious thought anyhow.
Congrats on the victory I recently had to pick some food up from a local bar my wife had ordered the food I made it out easier this time then last another small victory the last time was tough this time was easier.
everytime you win it gets easier.
Same with drinking the voice says go for it. its totally insane! but you give it serious thought anyhow.
Congrats on the victory I recently had to pick some food up from a local bar my wife had ordered the food I made it out easier this time then last another small victory the last time was tough this time was easier.
everytime you win it gets easier.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
You raise an interesting point.
We can not hide from alcohol.
Alcohol is apart of soceity and life.
We have to learn to live with it, at functions especially business and social.
If you were to look at certain asian countries, if not all, drinking and business go hand in hand, and when you dont drink their liquere, then its a sign of disrespect. We as humans being relieved of the drink obsession, have to learn how to deal with these situations that arise. If a liquor store or bar gives you an urge to slam back 100 beers to oblivion, then there is a problem that needs to be dealt with, and dealt with pretty darn quickly.
We can not hide from alcohol.
Alcohol is apart of soceity and life.
We have to learn to live with it, at functions especially business and social.
If you were to look at certain asian countries, if not all, drinking and business go hand in hand, and when you dont drink their liquere, then its a sign of disrespect. We as humans being relieved of the drink obsession, have to learn how to deal with these situations that arise. If a liquor store or bar gives you an urge to slam back 100 beers to oblivion, then there is a problem that needs to be dealt with, and dealt with pretty darn quickly.
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