Beep

I have had a bit of a history with substances, particularly gaba enacting ones. I got clear of all that a few years ago, though continued to drink on weekends. I used to binge drink pretty heavily in my student days, I still drink quite a lot most weekends. I never drink during the week unless I'm on holiday. I sometimes notice through the week I get a bit of a stiff neck and uneasy feeling, although lately I haven't had much of it. Most of the time I feel normal, apart from Fridays where I sometimes feel on edge. I don't feel desperate to have a drink, but subconsciously I must be craving one. I sometimes will take a couple of weeks off drinking and I don't miss it. Sometimes if I drink a lot at the weekend the neck stiffness and anxiety can be quite bad, but over the last year it wasn't too prevalent.

So that's my back story. Then at Xmas I drank three nights quite heavily. I felt a little sketchy afterwards but generally ok. I decided to not drink until 4 days later as I knew I would be drinking a lot at new year. Then when new year came I drank for 4 days heavily. The morning after that I had horrendous anxiety but taking benzos cleared it (I hadn't taken them in years).

I've now stopped for three weeks, I'm planning on drinking this weekend. I feel I can control my drinking when I just stick to Fridays and Saturdays, but the jittery feeling I get on Fridays before drinking is concerning.

Do you think I'm an alcoholic or not? I've never been an every day drinker (drinking 4 days at new year wasn't something I'd normally do). I usually just drink Friday and Saturday night.

PS - I think due to my gaba history I am quite susceptible to wd's.

IOAA2

Hi.

Only you can say if you’re an alcoholic as there are so many packages they come in.

Did you ever ask yourself why drinking is so important to you?
A decent self test is to not drink for 90 days no matter what happens and try to be honest about your drinking to yourself.

If you’re an alcoholic it will never get better if you continue drinking.

BE WELL

zjw

it has a way of sneaking up on you. I had a lot of the same gripes as you next thing I new I new 12 years had gone by and I was a daily drinker terribly dependant on booze. I dunno that I saw it coming or maybe I did and I denied it I'm not really sure but by the time I noticed what was going on it was too late alcohol had sunken its claws into me very deeply and the fight was on to break free.

My question would be why bother drinking at all. whats the point?

Soberwolf

Hi Beep nice to meet you

Youl find lots of support here

Beep

I enjoy it!

zjw

I know but what is the point if its causing you some grief? I enjoy eating cake but it makes me fat I enjoy smoking pot but it hurts my lungs. I enjoy smoking cigarettes but then I have trouble breatheing.

We can enjoy a lot of things it doesn't mean we should do them however.

If its not causing you any grief then by all means there probably is no issue then. For me the downsides outweighed the enjoyment part it stinks too because yes I did enjoy drinking there was just many more things I didn't enjoy about drinking.

awuh1

That's honest. I like that.


However, you should consider the long term effects. I believe the binge drinking is often physically harder on a person because of the kindling effect. The repeated withdrawals from alcohol are very hard on an individual physically, and it's a cumulative effect.


You may want to drink because you enjoy it Beep, but you should also ask yourself why not drinking is not enough. In other words, what is alcohol taking the place of? Then, when you think you have found an answer, put your sobriety to work on that.

Boleo

I can't say whether you are an alcoholic or not, but I can say:

"the jittery feeling you get on Fridays before drinking is concerning."

TrapezeFreak

The I like it thing is where I fail too. I can white knuckle through a Monday at work after a weekend bender and by 4:00 or so in the afternoon I am feeling a little better and then by 5:45 I've got the drink in my hand and then by bed time I feel [I]normal[I] and then pass out. The cycle never ends and the cycle is so defeating. I like it too but I also hate it. Which emotion there is more important to you? The rush is only temporary. The pain and anguish linger.

zjw

yep no sooner did I start to recover from the prior days binge did I think oh good god its about time for a drink only to start it all over again. I joke my life is very routine these days and boring its like ground hog day. I guess it was very routine and like ground hog day back when I drank too. wake up half dead hung over ready to eat a bullet for breakfast suck it up sometimes have a drink to take the edge off by 5pm usually sooner I was pounding 12oz beers rather happily only to pass out **** drunk and start the same thing all over again the next day.

did I enjoy it? absolutely at about 5pm when I got to start drinking my brains out it was great as the night wore on it got worse and the next moring it sucked. I was a slave to it after a while then throw in anxiety and panic in between my drinking shifts and well no overall it was not that enjoyable.

MelindaFlowers

Hey Beep,

Regular drinkers don't get the jitters after drinking, even if it's only weekends. In fact, regular drinkers don't drink more than 3-4 drinks when they do drink.

The jitters are a symptoms of withdrawal. Years ago when I would have a heavy drinking night/party I would not get jitters. Back then it was nausea and generally feeling like crap the next day. The jittery feelings came after years of daily, heavy drinking.

My opinion is that you have already lost control of it and need to stop.

Dee74

Hi Beep

like others here I really don't know if you're any alcoholic or not...but if it's causing you so much anxiety that you need to take benzoes...thats a pretty big red flag for me.

Not everyone here is an every day drinker, and not every alcoholic drinks all day from a bottle in a paper bag

I started as a binge drinker like you appear to be. Strricly friday night til Sunday morning...then sunday night...

Over time, my weekend started earlier and earlier in the week (Thursday then Wednesday) until ultimately it met up with the previously weeks binge.

Just as a point of reference, I consider I was an alcoholic through all those phases.