the horrors of coming of a binge
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: ct
Posts: 55
the horrors of coming of a binge
Gawd after weekend of extreme indulgence in booze and drugs i find myself today
a complete wreck.Starting friday night and ending sometime sunday night
i drank and drugged to excess and thank god nothing bad happened,by the grace of god.But now i 'm broke,shaky,thoughts scattered,depressed,remorseful,ashamed.
A far cry form the heights i experienced this weekend.as high as you fly is equal to the low you'll go is what i found.the insanity of this horrible disease
the wreckage it leaves.the emptiness one feels after such an experience,the lonliness and uncertainty.yesterday was far worse, but today i still feel like shell of myself.
a complete wreck.Starting friday night and ending sometime sunday night
i drank and drugged to excess and thank god nothing bad happened,by the grace of god.But now i 'm broke,shaky,thoughts scattered,depressed,remorseful,ashamed.
A far cry form the heights i experienced this weekend.as high as you fly is equal to the low you'll go is what i found.the insanity of this horrible disease
the wreckage it leaves.the emptiness one feels after such an experience,the lonliness and uncertainty.yesterday was far worse, but today i still feel like shell of myself.
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Hi Kindablue,
I'm an alcoholic for about 20+ years. Thirteen days sober now thanks to AA and SR. I literally partied myself almost to death many times too.
It's hard coming down from that kind of a weekend and realizing that you're just as weak as the rest of us. Guess what? Eventually, you're going to feel weak whether high or low...YES!...that's what happens over long-term use. After awhile...a drug user can't tell the difference. The highs are the lows and the lows are the highs. Open the windows...can you hear me in my deepest voice?
SSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP IT NNNNNNNOOOOWWW!!!!
I'm an alcoholic for about 20+ years. Thirteen days sober now thanks to AA and SR. I literally partied myself almost to death many times too.
It's hard coming down from that kind of a weekend and realizing that you're just as weak as the rest of us. Guess what? Eventually, you're going to feel weak whether high or low...YES!...that's what happens over long-term use. After awhile...a drug user can't tell the difference. The highs are the lows and the lows are the highs. Open the windows...can you hear me in my deepest voice?
SSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP IT NNNNNNNOOOOWWW!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: ct
Posts: 55
Well it's now been 3 days since i finished my last drink,starting to feel normal again.yuck....it felt like i used by body as an ashtray.A binge like that really
wacks the hell out of your body.my brain chemestry,my liver,my regularity....all felt so spun from where it should be.it took three days to begin feeling normal again,i don't want to feel like again.sick of abusing myself like that,just not fun anymore.talk about the lost weekend.....i used coke,oxycontin,whiskey and gallons of beer throughout.it's amazing that this disease just wants to keep abusing,all sense of stopping is not even a flicker of a thought when your "in the zone"....the only thought is to do more,
like a friggin lab rat...compusively hammering on the pleasure center.i'll get there guys,i want the sober life,some of us just have to suffer longer than others.some of us take longer to learn
wacks the hell out of your body.my brain chemestry,my liver,my regularity....all felt so spun from where it should be.it took three days to begin feeling normal again,i don't want to feel like again.sick of abusing myself like that,just not fun anymore.talk about the lost weekend.....i used coke,oxycontin,whiskey and gallons of beer throughout.it's amazing that this disease just wants to keep abusing,all sense of stopping is not even a flicker of a thought when your "in the zone"....the only thought is to do more,
like a friggin lab rat...compusively hammering on the pleasure center.i'll get there guys,i want the sober life,some of us just have to suffer longer than others.some of us take longer to learn
Last edited by kindablue; 08-11-2004 at 08:12 PM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
KB
3 days sober is a super start.
Like Mooty mentioned, be prepared for the next time the temptation of addiction rears it's ugly head.
Be ready to fight back!
Keep hanging out here, sharing and learning from other's ESH
3 days sober is a super start.
Like Mooty mentioned, be prepared for the next time the temptation of addiction rears it's ugly head.
Be ready to fight back!
Keep hanging out here, sharing and learning from other's ESH
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: north of Boston
Posts: 130
kindablue, sorry about the glitch - not sure what happened there. My message is a little bit longer than the previous one i just sent. My weekend was a lot like yours. I too, am on my third day. I am so determined to be strong and not give in, which is so easier said than done. Please hang in there. After awhile, maybe you won't feel so blue. Love, Kit
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
kindablue,
How are you doing today ?
I clearly remember the horrors of coming off a binge.. Shakes, cold sweats, paranoia, anxiety - and my head being all fuzzy.. It took me over a week to get back to being myself.
Stay strong !!!
TG28
How are you doing today ?
I clearly remember the horrors of coming off a binge.. Shakes, cold sweats, paranoia, anxiety - and my head being all fuzzy.. It took me over a week to get back to being myself.
Stay strong !!!
TG28
kimmer
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: california
Posts: 42
kindablue
im a binger too, the getting better usually takes me three days too. Just gotta keep recognizing those triggers and telling the alien (the green ugly monster in our head called addiction) to go to he**! sometimes i even yell at it out loud in my car when im passing the liquor store. I try to think of it as the little devil on my shoulder that i need to squash! glad your feeling better.
im a binger too, the getting better usually takes me three days too. Just gotta keep recognizing those triggers and telling the alien (the green ugly monster in our head called addiction) to go to he**! sometimes i even yell at it out loud in my car when im passing the liquor store. I try to think of it as the little devil on my shoulder that i need to squash! glad your feeling better.
where are you?
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