TopEndChick

Hi all.

Had a very close call in the last hour and wanted to quickly come and post here as soon as I got home. Now I've had a shower and made a cup of tea, and am beginning to feel somewhat calmer.

What happened is, I went to meet a friend who owes me money. I'm VERY short of cash right now and don't get paid again until the beginning of February, so I really had to go pick up some money. As soon as I got to the cafe, he was sitting there drinking beer and doing the crossword - one of my favourite pastimes. I picked up most of the money he owed me and left quickly before everyone else turned up. Stopped into the shop on my way home to pick up some food, and I had made my mind up to buy some wine too. Crazy, I know. In the shop, approaching the liquor section, I saw 2 toxic people I have been avoiding. I immediately veered away to the register and left the wine, thinking I will go to the other bottleshop on the way home.

As I was walking home, I started trying to recognise this as my AV talking, but it wasn't sticking. I thought of HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), and realised I was angry and lonely. Still, deadset on the wine.

I kept casting my mind around, until I thought of the way my heart was beating out of my chest just 5 short days ago. That seems to have done the trick. Phew!

The thing is I wasn't afraid of this happening when I left the house. I was sure I'd be fine. It's brought me down a bit but I'm glad I didn't give in. It would have been so easy... I'm not back at work for another 2+ weeks.

My anxiety is now very high, and I have nothing in the way of meds at all. Just paracetamol. So, cup of tea and some chocolate is it!

Thanks for reading. So glad you're here.

Foolsgold186

Wow that was a close call. So glad you managed to recognise and stop it.

Well done!

BernieE

That was huge! So proud of you. Every time you beat the AV it gets a little weaker. Tea and chocolate it is!

IOAA2

Hi and congratulations.

I firmly believe that the phrase “REMEMBER WHEN” stuck in the quick access part of the brain is so important as you demonstrated to remain sober. GOOD JOB!

BE WELL

SoberLeigh

You did very well, TopEndChick. You have loaded tools in your toolbox and you are using them.

This is how you build those sober muscles.

Soberwolf

Wellm done topendchick keep crushing that AV with positve thoughts & actions

If your angry & alone have you considered meetings ?

Hang in there enjoy that tea & choclate my friend

Dee74

I'm really glad you got through that TEC
Sometimes making those different, difficult, decisions is where recovery is at

D

leb

Hi, I get really scared of my impulsiveness too. I can go from feeling real good to "oh Stuffit might as well drink" in the blink of an eye. I think I need to work on what to do to help me delay my actions cos like you, once I leave it for a few minutes and maybe eat or drink a cup of tea things do seem to settle down. Maybe some of the other more experienced members can suggest some delaying tactics for our impulsiveness.

Anyway keep strong. We can do it