Stoogy

It's been a little while since I was a daily regular on SR, and I must say it's great too be back but with that being said I am back for a reason like most of us are, there are a few new members that I'm not familiar with yet but I have no doubt I will be soon, my back story is much like any other on here- quick recap.

1- long time alcohol abuser since my teens
2- quit for the first time December 2013
3- remained sober for 8 months plus without issues and never missed it.

And returned to drinking only at the weekends which I maintained 100% right up until I quit again late last year, I never even considered drinking through the week, so I guess some might call that a success on a certain level right? Wrong and here is the kicker, even though I mainted complete sobriety through the week I was getting to the point that I would start drinking in the weekends by 8am, that is the pure greed aspect and the point I am making with the progression of this awful condition and I think I was doing this because I knew I had given myself such a small window for drinking that I probably drank as much over the weekend as I would if I just had a few through the week.
Sorry for the long post guys but even although I was having 5 days sober a week I would drink myself into a awful state on my 2 days grace of alcohol.

It's an awful condition and I decided I cannot live like this any longer, sober is the only way too go for me and I must stick to it.
Apologies for the length of post but as I've been away for a while just thought I'd get a backstory up to date.
Hope you are all having a great weekend.

OklaBH

Yep, it certainly is progressive. The progression goes into overdrive when you relapse. Once I broke down and started drinking again (thinking I knew how to finally do it) my alcoholic brain went into overdrive "OMG shes feeding me again. Cant let her stop this time" It truly is a sick sick thing. Glad you posted and your sober today.

desypete

i know how hard it really is for people who dont drink and get drunk daily to think that there drinking would one day be the same

it happend to me much like you have said, i was a weekend only drinker for a time then i would drink on a monday to help me with the hung over effects, then i would drink at any time if i need a boost of confidence and of course end up getting drunk making a fool of myself and then needing another drink the next morning to help with the hang over
on and on it goes till in the end i was a complete 24 / 7 drunk

if your an alcoholic it will progress never get better but only get worse

the real wise people are the ones who can see it coming and can take actions to avoid it happening to them like give up the drink before the real damage comes there way.

but its not so easy as how can you get convinced you have a problem if the drink doesn't do you much harm yet ?

its easy for me as i can look back and see how my life ended up so i have my own experience that is real and i lost the lot so i have past experience in my tool box that has convinced me it might be a better idea not to drink

anyway its good to see people come back again as my fear is that they end up going away and drinking again and find themselves in the hopeless state where the drinking has progressed to daily drunk and losing everything so at least you havent gone that far and so long as you do the right things for you then there is no need to either

just one drink does all the damage

anattaboy

Yup, I don't need anymore proof either. I too drank after 8 yrs. sober in '97--didn't stop again till '10. My last binge lasted only 7 months before it took me down physically and I was 4 yrs. sober then. That's just how I do it. Live or die. I want to live today. Welcome back stoo!

Stoogy

Cheers buddy, great too be back.

LexieCat

I totally get that, and I think you're smart to recognize it. I spent four years trying to "moderate" my drinking, and with all my drink-counting and "rules" I kidded myself all that time I was making "progress." Turns out the only progression was my alcoholism.

It's a big relief to be OFF the hamster-wheel for good.

Welcome back.

Boleo

"Progression" is how alcoholism sneaks up on even the smartest people (Doctors, lawyers, scientists...).

I must have looked at my drinking progression a million times during my drinking career but did not see it moving towards me. Much like the hour-hand on a clock... It does not look like it is moving. Yet, given time, it moves a long way.

Johnston

I experimented after many years sober and found that it was not a very good idea. Will have 3 years again next week. In terms of the addiction being "progressive", that was not my experience. I in fact managed to moderate for most of the ~18 months I was back out there. Did not drive drunk, black out, or bleed internally like before I stopped drinking the first time in 1990. However, I think it was only a matter of time. Everybody is different. Welcome back BTW.

BunnyLove

I feel lucky in that I know from everything I've read that my weekend escapades would eventually turn into every day. It's done enough damage, so here I am. Glad to have a supportive place to read your stories and share mine. Thanks all!

HeadLump

So good to see you back, Stoogy. I missed you

I tried the 5 days off, 2 days on approach and managed it for a while but then became aware that I was simply counting down the hours to the next session and drinking far, far more in a very short period. It's a lot easier to go without!

Stoogy

Really glad to see you are still on here, your posts are always a joy to read.
Happy to be back on track.

Alwyshope12

As I get more time away from drinking and think of the times in my life that I "convinced" myself that I didn't have a problem, I can see that I was "control" drinking for much of my life. The reality is that it was all a justification for me to drink and not address the issues in my life that were causing me to pick up the bottles.

This is a total progressive disease. I ignored many of the subtle signs along the way and did not seek the right kind of help. It is uplifting to see so many of us addressing our issues and trying to become better people.

Stoogy, your signature line is so true....

Squig

Hindsight being what it is, I can clearly see the progression in my disease. First started in my early teens, I'm now two months shy of 30. Aside from the physical amount of booze I can consume without dying afterwards, I look back on how may times I've screwed the proverbial pooch once I start drinking. I look at how the frequency of these events started to increase. Hangovers go, and withdrawal symptoms take over. I knew for a long time that I am an alcoholic, but didn't care. Then I started suffering the consequences, and wanted to stop, but couldn't.

I had close to seven good months of sobriety through AA starting in December 2012, when I relapsed in June 2013. It started innocently enough with a few beers at a concert, and before I knew it I was worse than ever. I had gotten a tan, as they say, and thought I had my drinking by the balls.

Fast forward to this holiday season, a year and a half later, and I'm humbling myself by reaching out to friends from my previous time in AA. This is after spending the majority of the Thanksgiving and Christmas season drunk. Today marks one calendar week since my last drink, and after a workout, I'll be heading to a 7pm meeting that used to be my homegroup.

Physically and mentally speaking, each day gets better. I also acknowledge that life isn't all flowers just because I'm not drinking. I do know that when I can approach life with a clear, sober mind, I actually have hope.

Sorry for the long winded response, and best of luck to those still struggling.

midnightapt

Stories like these really help keep me sober. I've been sober for nearly 4 years but I know that I'm no different than all of you that have posted here, and I'd be in bad shape if I stared drinking again. Thanks to everyone for sharing.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Stoogy.

leighqt

2.5 yrs sober , been trying to control drinking and its effects on me for 3 yrs , back to AA i go

tpoint

Welcome back Stoogy. I have been trying to quit since December 2010 and i've had periods of long sobriety since then. The recent times I have drank have been x10 worst than prior to December 2010. Maybe not in the quantities of alcohol consumed - but definitely on the way it's made me feel. I wish you all the best in your recovery.

MIRecovery

It took 30 years to get to being a 24X7 drinker but I graduated and became a chronic late stage alcohol who was physically dependent. The next stage was death and thank God I was brought to my senses

Hevyn

Yes, that was me exactly MIRecovery.

Stoogy - it's great to see you back with us.

Verte

Hey there Stoogy. I was wondering where you went. So glad to see you back here and look forward to your insight.