AJapplejacks

I've been searching all over the internet for a story like mine and have only found a handful of stories of alcoholics who have drank as much as i did daily for as long as i did. I've 'bounced back' a few times in the past 3 years but returned to drinking weekly then a few weeks would go by and it would be more and more till i would be drinking daily.It started with beer - would buy a 6 pack every few days and share a few with my brother or girlfriend. After my girlfriend and I became closer I stopped hanging out with my brother so much and began drinking daily with my girlfriend. a 6 pack or so a day when we couldnt find other drugs to occupy ourselves with. Got addicted to heroin, meth, suboxin(opioid withdrwal medication) started shooting up. Luckly such thins were very difficult to obtain in the small town i lived. Got "clean" for a while but was merely substituting alcohol for other substances. Got to the point where It was 8-12 beers every other day. When i didnt have enough for the 12 pack of pbr id get a tallboy or two of 8%. sorta weened myself off. I got kicked out of my house over my brother selling my girlfriend drugs behind my back..we were supposed to be quitting together and i flipped out on him. I moved in with my aunt across state and was sober for maybe a month. Started drinking a 40 or two on the weekends and this progressed again to 2-3 times a week...when i had money it went to that. Unemployed most of the time, relapsed to meth quite a few times. Would use alcohol to help with comming down. My girlfriend moved in with me after 2 months or so and we went back to our 6 packs and tall boys about twice a week. id have 4 and she'd have 2 typically. We were pretty functional. We finally quit everything else and would limit ourselves to maybe a tallboy every 3-4 days. lasted about a month. drinking eventually increased and i noticed that when i tried to stop i would get the shakes. Would only have a weeks worth of sobriety then would relapse and buy 40s every few days progessing to harder alcohol and eventually going through 5ths with my girlfriend every 2-3 days starting in the morning we split up. I went to a detox facility and went through hell. this was all when i was 21-23 I wish all of this could have a more definite time line but its all pretty much a blur. 24th birthday comes and i decide i need to change. Stayed sober for about a month and then slipped back into it because of family stress. I have been drinking 2-3 99 proof shooters(easier to hide my problem) prolly 2-3 days a week till last month when it became daily. I would only be sober if i couldnt afford a few of them at the end of the day. longest time in this 2 month period i didnt drink was about 5 days. went through withdrawls yet again. Started again: said id ween myself off. failed and ended up drinking 5-6 a day till 3 days ago: The withdrawls have never been so intense for me. sweating, severe anxiety, shakes. Its gotten better but my hands are sweating up a storm writing this. I've resolved never to do any drugs/alcohol again and for the first time in a long time I believe myself. Kind of afraid it might be too late. My abdomen has been really uncomfortalbe for the past week or so..less so today but it still feels 'tight' especially after eating: which till today i had to force myself to do. I'll try to keep up on the forums posting support for other people. If nothing else my story can serve as a warning. I look in the mirror and my eyes are 1/3 bloodshot and i worry its jaundice. I look on the internet at pictures of it and its not as bad as any of the cases i see but..it does look slightly yellow in a spot .im hoping its just in my head. Im hoping my dark urine in the morning is because i dehydrate at night due to sweats. I hope I can have a life but im afraid i may have wasted it and maybe i dont have long and im only 24...

happybeingme

Hi! Welcome to the forum. Sounds like you have been on quite the rollercoaster. Addiction is the pits. But, I am a big believer in where there is life there is hope. You are alive so there is hope.

Hydration is super important in the beginning. So are b-complex vitamins if you can take them. Eat well, rest a lot, and stick around here. Post if you want but read all you can.

You are not alone. We are here with you. All day everyday. Be well

pulltight

You should see a doctor and come clean with what you just said, but as for right now stop the alcohol intake.
I drank for 15 years and for the last 7 years nearly every day.

Chances are you will be just fine but you gotta stop to recover.

Good luck!

Eddiebuckle

AJ,

The thing about being an alcoholic or an addict, is that we cannot do it alone. Check out a beginners meeting ASAP.

AA - North Dakota

As to the health stuff you mentioned, we cannot give medical advice here. I strongly suggest you see a Doctor - alcohol detox can be fatal, it is far more dangerous than many "hard" drugs.

Five years ago I was in your shoes drinking a fifth a day. In 11 days I will celebrate five years sober. There is nothing special about me other than I worked my sobriety every day to get here.

Good luck AJ, you can do this.

AJapplejacks

Thanks for all your replies. Got me to stop being quite so anxious about my current state, unfortunately being unemployed means i cant go to a doctor right now. Ill Try what you all have suggested.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you AJ Welcome to SR

Gargery

Trust me, your story is quite mild compared to the alcoholic horror shows some here have lived. I wouldn't say the amount you drank is unusual, among the many alcoholics of my acquaintance.

You've gotten the best advice already: see a doctor and try to stay strong. Hit a meeting if you think it might help. AA helps a lot of folks, including me.

Carlotta

Those people offer sliding scale payment options and will work with you. Get yourself checked!
Family HealthCare | Afforable, quality healthcare for all.

to SR

Dee74

Hi AJapplejacks


There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?

http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf
2-1-1 Call Center Search

I ended up drinking all day everyday for 5 years or so - cheap wine and beer - this was after 15 years of binge drinking, and I'm still kicking.

See a Dr and take a load off your mind

D

Jsbodhi

I'm not an expert, but you're still young, some of my alcoholic friends have drank WAY more than that for years.
Hope you're fine xoxo

Hawkeye13

It is amazing what the body can heal from if we just quit poisoning it everyday.

markz

"been searching all over the internet for a story like mine"
I remember doing the same thing. I had to look at the similarities and not the differences. Every drunk is exactly the same. The amount we drink doesnt mean anything. Its what alcohol does to us, doesnt matter if we drink tons of rubby, or a gallon of $1000 per bottle wine. We are the same breed!

ubntubnt

I am not downplaying the amount that you drank but many have had it worse and been ok - BUT these are the ones who quit. Many drank at your level and tried to quit, relapsed, got worse and died from it. So its your choice to make. You need to get off the drugs and booze and stay off and you need to be fully committed to this.

Regarding your health I would really recommend going to a doctor, explain your situation and be 100% honest about the amount you were drinking. They will give you a blood test and this will hopefully put your mind at ease. If, and when, the test come backs all clear thank your blessings and resolve to move forward.

Good luck. You are still a young guy and there is no reason why you cannot put all this behind you and learn some very valuable lessons at a very young age.

Gottalife

Your drinking sounds similar to mine, minus the other drugs which werent around in my day.I stopped at 22, a jibering wreck with malnutrition. I went to AA, followed some simple suggestions (too stupid to argue I guesss) and never needed to take another drink.

Of course you can recover too, if you are willing to do whatever it takes.

glassdark

You will be fine. You weren't as much of an extreme drinker like some of us, but your brain got chemically dependent. Definitely try to take vitamins everyday, plenty of water, and eat light, fresh meals...salads, grilled or cooked chicken, fruits, vegetables, ect.

You are still young. Mostly those who have drank 10+ years or more have to worry about failing or extremely damaged organs. The liver is the only organ that can remarkably repair itself. Now, that is not to say your drinking has not done some damage...but you are so young, that the likelyhood is that if you quit now, you will bounce back and heal over time. Personally, i am 26 and alcohol damaged my stomach. i now take antacids everyday. The only way to ensure alcohol doesn't kill me or do further damage is to quit, plain and simple. The withdrawals will go away...just remember that if you do start drinking again, the next withdrawal might be worse and more painful.

markz

Every "drunk-a-log" aka "drunk" aka "story" is the same.

MelindaFlowers

You should be fine with complete abstinence. Alcohol changes our body so we literally can't drink anymore without health consequences. Once you have become physically dependent there is no going back to moderate drinking.

It is called "kindling." Google it. It means that we go through withdrawals all over again even after drinking what we might consider only a little bit.

TigerLili

It's not really the amount we drank or used that matters. We all have different tolerances. I know women who drink way, way more than the amount that sent me into AA and most men in AA would definitely have been physically capable of drinking more than me. The problem for me was how it affected my life, my work and my mental state rather than sheer volume of alcohol ingested.

sugarbear1

if you are unemployed you are eligible for medicaid through that obamacare.....

tgreen

Seek a doctor and have a treatment. You're still young and everyone has a chance to have changed in life