bardobird

Hi

Just wanting some advice if possible.

My Mum died 2 years ago this month and she was a heavy drinker - I always hated it but I have now found the pleasure in it – It numbs the pain of losing her.
My boyfriend stays on a weekend and he hates me drinking so I don’t do it but as soon as he goes home I am a total sneak, lie to him about me drinking and drink to oblivion mon/tues/weds and Thursdays I usually feel that guilty and rough I don’t drink at all and don’t want to.
The thing I need advice on, I know I am psychologically dependent but do you think I am physically? I can go without all weekend with no shakes and no mental cravings for a drink at all. My last drink was about 4 this morning, I am not sick or shaking just feeling a bit light headed and dizzy which is worrying me. Is this normal? When I had a binge the other week I went dizzy a couple of days after for a few hours but no other symptoms – is this booze related? I am really scared I may faint or have a stroke (I am also a drama queen!) Also I feel really anxious but that’s worrying about the dizziness I think. Do you think I need to go to the Doctor for Librium?
I have drunk apx 8 bottles of 11% wine since Monday.
Any advice would really be appreciated.

Sara xox

ScottFromWI

Each subsequent detox can get worse. If you have concerns absolutely see a doctor, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Raider

Well, from your posts, it seems YOU think you have a problem. You have questions that only you can answer. If you want to stop, it's always a good idea to check with your doctor to see if you are healthy enough to detox at home, maybe with a little help from your doctor. It doesn't matter how you are "hooked". There isn't a soul on this site that will tell you to keep up like you are doing. What do you want to do?

bardobird

Thanks for the replies
I WANT and NEED to stop - I am gonna end up drinking myself to death - I suffer from depression and have a history of self harm which goes out of control when I am drunk. I know I have a problem and need help.
Do you guys think I can still suffer severe withdrawls if I can go without for days then binge drink - I know its only a matter of time before I get ill - I know binge drinking is so bad. I am so worried about the dizziness - is this normal after a binge?
Thanks x x

zjw

I was a pretty heavy binge drinker before I became a daily binge drinker. My point is its progressive. maybe you can go a couple days now but in a year or 2 will you be able too?

In the end with my drinking I have no idea if I could have gone a day or 2 off the bottle. I guess I could because I did just that and a zillion more days when I quit. But I mean if I was to take a day off and go back to it would I have had DT's and such? in my case probably minor compared to full on DT's and I would have been a real a$$hole to be around till I got another drink in me.

Binge drinking like your doing now tho at those levels is just a recipe for disaster. Be thankful that's as bad as it is right now and not worse and consider quiting for good. If you keep it up it will only get worse. If you quit it will only get better.

bardobird

Yep I am gonna try quitting and make sure I am busy next week when I am alone. I have wasted another few days of my life in a haze and I hate been drunk - I just get more upset. Then the guilt kicks in about my lies - Does anyone think I need librium as I said I can go without for days then just feel dizzy when I stop, no other symptoms?
Sara xxx

ScottFromWI

It doesn't really matter what we think bardobird....only a doctor can tell you for sure. The thing with drinking is that many of us ( me included ) can drink for years and not have major withdrawals but suddenly after years or decades the withdrawals can increase, and it can happen quickly.

Feeling Dizzy can be caused by a lot of different things, both physical and mental. If you have concerns, again - please see a doctor.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, bardobird; glad you found us.

Best to check with your doc about a safe detox.

We are here for you. Don't forget that we are 24/7/365.

zjw

That guilt has gotta be killer and I bet it makes ya wanna get another drink? I know for me it would its a vicous cycle. The best fix is to quit drinking then you can conquer the guilt too.

Dizzyness could be something simple like blood sugar out of wack. I know I was mess when I sobered up its hard to make heads or tails as to what your issue is until you start eliminating the obvious bad things IE the booze would be one. I had to eliminate bad thigns one by one then I started to learn what was causing me to feel this way or that way and was able to add this or that back in say like caffine in amts I found I could handle.

I had to look up Librium I noticed a couple UK posters asking about this lately and its not one I'm familier with. That being said I know its not uncommon for doctors to prescrive Benzo's to help combat anxiety and DT's etc.. Its really best to ask your doctor about it. From what I read about it I wish I would have been able to get my hands on something like that to make my life easier in the beginning. But again in my case it might have just helped me form another habit *sigh* Your best bet go with what your doc says.

Its a fine line between making it easy on yourself vs making it TOO easy. For example for me if I would have gotten on medications its possible I would have never gotten past those medications and would have never looked into diet and exercise as other ways to feel even better. I might have gotten on some meds and just been like yeah I guess this is good. I dunno.

My opinion is the ultimate goal should be no chemicals or meds at all and to be a happy healthy fit functioning individual. The reality however is it takes time to get there. it takes a lot of work. and its best to make it as easy as you can on yourself to get there because if you make it too hard your liable to throw in the towel and give up. Keep it simple like they say and do one step at a time.

I could have done some things differently in my recovery. One regret I have is not coming to a board like this or an AA meeting on day one. In my case I did it the hard way for the first year. I could have made things a little easier I bet.

CNY46ER

Your in the contemplation stage. drinking is affecting you and you realize it. So yourself a favor see your doctor and tell them the truth. You have nothing to lose only to gain. Think how your mum feels looking down on you seeing you go through the same hell she did. She would never want that for you. God bless
Greg

Anna

We are here to offer support if you decide to stop drinking.

We cannot give any kind of medical advice. You must talk to your dr for that.

bardobird

Thank you all so much for your kind replies – It really means a lot to know people understand and care. Thank you.

Well I have eaten, slept a few hours (the guilt and shame kept me awake) and the dizziness has gone so I think I am out of the woods with the physical withdrawals - Well I hope I am! 24 hours since my last drink and feel fine just ashamed and I have no desire for a drink at all.

I think I just panic and that causes most of my symptoms – and searching on Google doesn’t help!!). Anyway I KNOW I do have a problem that will only get a lot worse if I don’t stop now – I have tried to cut down and it just doesn’t work so I need to stop. I am going to keep busy on my ‘trigger’ days and get some bereavement counselling asap. Also I will keep checking in on here – what a lovely bunch you are!

Thank you so so much, you made a horrible day much easier yesterday!

Sara xxxxxxxxxx

Muunray

Withdrawal symptoms can peak the 2nd or 3rd day after you quit drinking, hopefully not for you.

bardobird

Hi Muunray

I spoke to an alcohol advisor and said I would get warnings before I went into dt's ect - He said it wouldnt 'just happen' I would have warning signs such as trembling, sweating first then to get help - he said as I didn't have any signs at all of withdrawal and havn't before and since its 28 hrs since my last drink I would be ok, just rest, eat drink fluids and vitamins.....
You have me worried now was his information incorrect - He was at the NHS

Sara x

Gargery

I can't speak for all drunks, but nothing you say seems out of the ordinary. I drank in the manner you describe for quite a while. Over time, it got worse. Eventually, I developed permanent hand tremors and frequent alcoholic hallucinations. You might too, but if you don't have any yet, that is great.

Check out an AA meeting in your area. Even if you hate it and never go back, you can ask folks questions before and after the meeting, and listen to what they have to say during it. All you lose is an hour of your time.

Also... Try not to worry so much! You're going to be OK.

Dee74

Hi and welcome bardobird

It's a good rule of thumb - if you feel concerned or unwell get some help.
If you feel ok? that's within the realm of 'normal' too.

D

JaneLane

Hello,

I can see some similarities in our experiences. I am a recovering self-harmer and self-harmed for nine years before my drinking started, then each time I've lapsed since then, I hurt myself. I think it removes the inhibitions and it pulls down all the boundaries and checks that I use on myself when I'm sober.
My reason for stopping drinking, aside from health, being addicted etc, is actually to prevent my self-harm getting as bad as it once was, or worse.
I would tell your doctor how much you're drinking and that you want to stop. I found that to be a good start for me. I had horrible withdrawals once but another time I just felt very run down and had a headache. There's no harm in seeking some help.
Your anxiety is likely to get worse when you stop. It has done for me at least, but it will pass.

Soberwolf

Hi Bardobird i lost my mum 5 years ago i just want to let you know i understand you find so much support here

Well done on 28h if you have any concern make a gp apt dont panic and worry

were here for you to lean on 24/7

HeadLump

Welcome, Bardobird I'm so sorry about your mum. I lost mine many years ago but the grief I felt was horrendous. Much love to you, my friend

I stopped drinking just under 2 years ago after many years of regular binge drinking on wine. I didn't drink every day, but once I started, all bets were off. I stopped because, in a drunken stupor, I somehow fell and cracked my head. I didn't have any withdrawal symptoms thankfully.

It was hard at first but gradually the physical benefits helped to spur me on. After a while, though, the
psychological benefits were the most significant - the emergence of self-esteem being one! I still have addiction issues (bulimia) but I am slowly making headway with that too.

There is a new life out there for you, Bardobird. One that you can be proud of - one that's filled with freedom and not guilt, with self-esteem and not shame. Stick with us, we'll help you find it

MattM316

If you're drinking to 'oblivion' three days a week and getting no withdrawals over a weekend, believe me that isn't going to last long.
Eventually it will catch up with you and hit you hard, so it's best to try and get this sorted now, sooner rather than later.

The main withdrawal signs would be the shakes, anxiety, racing heart. Dizziness doesn't sound good tho and i'm sure that's part of withdrawal.

I'm not sure how old you are, but it hit me when I was 30, before that I never really got withdrawals over a two day period and I drank a LOT.
But yes definitely get this sorted with your GP, definitely the best option.