katerine

Last night I almost drove my car when very drunk. It is the last straw and I need help & support to quit this awful poison. I can go 3-4 days without drinking, but I'm always waiting until I can next drink. I hate the hold it has over me & the stupid things I do when I'm drunk. I really need to do this

Jsbodhi

I don't drink and drive, but lately I've been blacking out and being really verbally abusive, I'm terrified I'm going to black out and drive and kill someone. Can't trust myself on the booze. The other night my boyfriend filmed me during a blackout, it was really scary, blank dead eyes, weird look on my face. I feel violated he secretly filmed me because I don't know why he did it. If it was to show me or his friends. Either way, scary.
He broke up with me.
I'm on day 1 too. This has got to stop, I'm getting very out of control as well

buyingisbad

Many on here have mentioned to eat something sugary when you get the urge. try some organic honey or organic sugar.

personally I wouldn't suggest white sugar.

There may be a connection between the sugar from the alcohol and the urge to drink. You might be able to fool your needs for alcohol like this in the beginning.

rshankv

today is my day 2 all the best !

Gottalife

Most of us could stop for a few days. The trick is to find a way to stay stopped. Do you have any plan to take you past the four day mark?

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR & the forum

Youl find a lot of support here ......let this be the wake up call

Nice to meet you Katerine if you want to pm me i can send over some useful links

SW

zjw

Go the 3 or 4 days and go 1 more when you wake up the next day go another 1 etc.. I couldnt go not even 1 day without drinking honestly going more then 8 hours was quite the struggle. For me the first morning without a hang over was a breath of fresh air. I sort of leveraged the fact that i felt physically a hair better in the begining to get myself to suck it up and go 1 more day.

I'll be honest I had to leverage almost anything I could find for the strength to keep going some days. Even when I felt like it was a pathetic attempt. But it does pay off.

You also wont have to worry about evenings like last night anymore among other things.

zjw

I like that honey idea as well. Honey is one of the fastest hitting sugars you can get. and its no secret that carbohydrates make you feel good. Bananas are good too b6, carbs tryptophan magnesium to relax you. Tryptophan gets turned to serotonin this helps you feel good B6 gives you an energy boost and helps deliver that serotonin.

I know it might sound silly have some honey eat a banana eat an egg drink some herbal tea etc.. but a little bit here and a little bit there and BAM you have another day under your belt.

buyingisbad

I believe there is a sort of gluttony involved with drinkers. If you can some way replace it with something else not harmful to your body and social life you will make it.

I was sitting here playing a video game online and we was winning and it made me feel like drinking to celebrate it even though i just got done eating ice cream. So ... it helps but doesn't take it away for good.

Hevyn

Welcome Katerine.

I swore I'd never drink and drive, but I ended up doing it. Along with many other out-of-character things. I wish I'd paid attention when I knew I was in trouble. Glad you are here to talk things over. You're doing a great thing by seeking help. This is a wonderful place for the support & encouragement you need.

fini

katerine,
welcome.
and good for you for being in the last-straw place.

much support here at SR for all kinds of ways of going about this.
always waiting for the next drink is a destructive head-space to be in, and won't further your aim of quitting.
what happens when you decide to think there won't be a next time?

what helped me was getting connected with others daily, immersing myself in tons of reading material, esp. "stories" of how people got and stayed sober, and going to a real-life meeting (which was a LifeRing Secular Recovery one), which i was only going to do once but then ended up loving and going for a couple of years.

great to see you post.

katerine

Thank you so much for your replies everyone :-) I'm so glad I've recognised that I can't do this without some support and you guys seem like a very supportive bunch! I hide my drinking habits from friends and family as much as I possibly can. I realise I've hit rock bottom and it's not the way I want my life to be. I have had many failed attempts at cutting down. It hasn't worked and I really want to stop all together. I work with people who have mental health problems and would hope that someday in the future I will be able to help others quit drinking.

I haven't made any plans as to how I will stop...this is my first plan just to publically aknowledge to myself and others on here that I have a serious problem. I think I will find alot of ideas on how to quit from you guys and hope that in return I can offer some support back.

Thanks again for being so welcoming :-)

katerine

My triggers are housework! I tend to clean and drink at the same time. Then do something silly like decide to go out, get more drunk and over the top. I need to find a way to do something as normal as the housework without drinking. Maybe I will read through some posts on here before and during doing housework to try and break the habit. Need to find peace with the inner me and experience life in a normal state! Feeling ashamed and low right now, but at the same time quite positive for joining this forum and changing for the better...

TopEndChick

Welcome Katerina. This is definitely a good place for you to make contact with other people in our situation and get lots of good advice, support and info.

My trigger can be anything. I'm still getting my head around it all but am 8 days sober, and am feeling good. Good luck, see you around the site I expect!

buyingisbad

I played online video games drinking since 2003 with only a 2 year sobriety in there around 2010. My thought was in order to quit I need to throw away my triggers or in other words what habits I did to accompany drinking. Well it was gaming. But I love to game.

So this time I quit the alcohol and not the things I love to do. I am gaming actually more now but sober. As much as you would think it would make me think of alcohol it actually is therapeutic because I am proving to myself I don't need the alcohol.

Yes I get the urge to drink sometimes while playing but I pay it no mind and it goes away. it might pop up in 5 minutes again or an hour or not at all. But I blow it off each time it comes into my mind.

You can clean without alcohol! I bet your place is really nice and clean too

katerine

It is quite clean haha. I may actually have MORE time to clean when sober as I wont be trying to rush it all before finishing my last can of lager! I'm awful at social events too...always the first to be drunk, slurring and stumbling everywhere.
Im thinking of going to a local AA meeting tonight. It's a scary thought but could be just what I need. I hope thete is no one there I know though!

maggpie666999

I agree Katerine. I am totally awful at social events/situations. This is what caused me to have problems with booze in the first place. and seriously
-rshankv congrats on day 2 of sobriety, your on a roll, keep it up, I am only day 1 but will do more days sober. keep going Katerine, you can do this, and I was always afraid of doing drinking and driving while I was drunk but didn't do it because people stopped me. I am drinking tea right now to cleanse myself of the poisonous toxins in my liver. It is very relaxing to drink peppermint herb tea.

LeeJane

I used to always drink heavily as I cleaned my home. Found it difficult to replace that trigger but it did go over time and now I actually enjoy cleaning and find it relaxing.

When I was doing it drunk, I was doing it very manically.

A whole different way of being.

katerine

It will be on Wednesday evening that I will crave lager...when my partner is out and I am doing my twice weekly clean out of my animals and house. If I get on with the AA meeting tonight I might find one to ho to on Wednesday evening.......