Soberintexas007

Well, I made it through my sister in law's 30th birthday bash and still have my 13 days. Here are some things that happened:

(1) EVERYONE was drinking, and I did initially have some cravings. But I did not give in.
(2) I feel that there are some people in my husband's family who do not like me, and I assume this based on their nonverbal behavior. At the same time, there are people that are nice to me who I do believe do like me. For the people that I did not get good vibes from, in the past I would have tried my best to try and get their approval and liking. And if I did not get it, I would become resentful and therefore more likely to drink over it. This time, I just told myself that not everyone is going to like me, and that is fine. As long as I am nice to everyone, I am doing my spiritual job. At the same time, being nice to them does not mean I have to go the extra distance to get them to like me. We may just give each other a simple acknowledgement of one another, and that is fine.
(3) My sister in law ended up passing out at the party after about 3 hours. Her 7 year old daughter was concerned the whole time. This experience reminded me why I don't like to drink.
(4) My husband drank way too much, said some obnoxious things to people which he got reprimanded for, and threw up 3 times on the way home, while telling me the whole time that he was sorry and did not want to drink again. Once again, positive reinforcement for why I no longer drink, LOL.
(5) The irony is that I wanted to stay at the party longer, it was my husband who wanted to go because he has to work tomorrow. The longer I stayed, the more I saw firsthand why I don't want to drink again.
(6) Overall, I had a nice time. I got along with his mother and aunts, so that was nice. His stepfather is a bit shady and hard to talk to, but like I said before, oh well. The food was great.
(7)By the way, I came out and told several people about my new sobriety so that they were aware what is going on with me. I told them that I sort of had to relearn how to have fun without drinking, but I seemed to do a good job of it tonight. One of my husband's aunts is a bit concerned about her daughter's drinking and how she is always trying to set limits but has a difficult time. I was able to educate her about alcoholism so that if in fact her daughter ends up having this disease, the family can be more understanding and realize that it is not just a lack of willpower.

airwick

I have been sober for almost 8 months, and that story was an inspiration to me....Thank-you

Have a great weekend

Daisyjo

JB1980 you have a fantastic attitude. I bet you will end up helping lots of people with your wonderful outlook.
I feel the same way about some of my husbands family. But through sober eyes and ears the important pieces shine brighter and what's not so important fades away. Big hug.

Dee74

I'm glad you made it ok justbreathe.
Do keep a sense of perspective tho - stay vigilant

D

lillyknitting

I loved your post. It so screamed out to me the realities of the parties/socializing & booze. I used to consider events like that as a major excuse for me to drink my face off. My excuse "it's a party for gods sake!" "everyone will drink, so I've got a cast iron reason to drink the night away, regardless of the consequences". The thing that amazed me most, like your party, is the fact that those pertinent people among us got blind drunk!! Loved that, coz that would have been me!!! I would have woken up, feeling terrible, feeling like I wanted to die, not remembering anything, what I did, what I said, feeling guilty etc etc.

How did I live that life? Eventually you will see it all for what it really is. I find those events ok, but a bit samey & boring now. Well done you.

I bet your husband suffered the next day! Lol

Soberwolf

Well done on 13 days JB

439trish

thank you Justbreathe, your post has helped me tremendously today in my 24 hour commitment to stay away from alcohol

with gratitude,

trish

Soberintexas007

Thank you all for your posts. Now that the night has passed, and I have 14 days, things have calmed down a bit. I took care of my husband last night, and I think he will be okay for work today. I think the most difficult thing about everything last night is to see just how unhealthy my husband's family is, and it is very disappointing. My husband knows that he should not be drinking at all, and he knows that I don't approve of his lush drinking last night. His family knows as well his alcohol/drug use history, and they also know that he should not be drinking, yet they say the most toxic, unhealthy things. For example, when my husband wanted to go last night because he said he had work in the morning, his stepfather confronted him about wanting to leave early and said he should stay longer. That so bothered me. Does his stepfather not know that he is helping to kill his stepson? (In addition to him knowing his stepson is an addict and should not be drinking, he also knows his stepson has had Hepatitis C and has a chronic heart condition in which he has a defibrillator.) Then, my husband's mother saw her son's excessive drinking, and she says to me during the night that he is having a good time. Viewing his excessive, unhealthy drinking as having a good time is very unhealthy. Once again, she is validating his drinking as having a good time at the expense of knowing that he is an addict and should not be drinking, and also his health conditions. To me, this is all just crazy. But I know that I must just let it go and not make an issue of it, or else I will just get sucked up into the drama. I know that my frustration over these issues will soon come to pass after a couple/few days, and I will feel better.

foolsgold66

Excellent job on the 13 days. Looks like you have a lot of work in front of you in the 'boundaries' area. It does seem you are intellectually aware of that, but it's still a rough go. I wish you well.

Soberintexas007

What boundaries and with whom are you most seeing in this situation?

DarkDays

Nearly 3 years sober and doing events/parties/funerals sober always leaving me saying to myself "thank god I do not drink anymore".

Soberintexas007

It's weird though. Even though I did not drink last night, I still feel that I need to somewhat "recover" from last night. Maybe it's because there is a lot said and done at those types of events that I need to process and recover from?

Treerat66

Well done on 14 days Justbreathe1980

foolsgold66

Well boundaries may not be precisely the right word. The only boundaries of relevance are yours, they are the only ones you control. You can cross them or others can, they run both ways. From an outsiders standpoint there's a family, a party, a few drunks, possibly a few problem personalities, newly sober you and you did some educating at the party. I'd be wary of a little blowback. You are getting sober while being married to a drinker. I'm familiar with that situation, it can be difficult.

Soberintexas007

Yes, I know that it is a precarious situation because I am married to a drinker whose family also drinks. I guess I just have to do this one day at at time.