PurpleKnight

I started drinking in my 20s, the escape from life was amazing, my mind was always racing and then add in a stressful job and a few girlfriend breakups, numbing all that away now and again was the draw.

Gradually though that escalated into dealing with boredom, there was a period in my life when I didn't do anything other than work, I wasn't in a relationship and lived alone, so alcohol was always there at weekends and when I got home from work, it was the perfect time filler.

As time went on it became more of a need and less about a choice, addiction I guess crept up and before I knew it I needed to have that drink each and every day!!

Deckard

Because that was what grown up people did...

I had no idea that it would, in truth, keep me from growing up for a long time.

fotographia

I started because I hung out with older friends and they would drink or give me a beer if they had one.

I didn't really start drinking until I was in my early 20s and in college, and could easily go into any store or bar and drink, or just go home and drink liquor I had.

Dee74

I drank for an escape from a reality I convinced myself I couldn't tolerate.

D

MelindaFlowers

I really enjoyed it at first. It made every evening seem like an occasion. my only criteria for drinking was that it was evening so I drank every night. It kept taking more and more ticket so the quantity became ridiculous. Then the hangovers started.

Gottalife

Heard in a meeting" alcohol gave me wings so I could fly, then it took away the sky."

That fits me pretty well.

Ken33xx

Why?

I liked the feeling I got from drinking. Rain, shine, good day, bad day, it didn't matter.

There was nothing a few drinks wouldn't help make better.

Was never a social drinker and never liked the taste of alcohol or wanted a beer or wine with dinner.

I drank simply to get loaded because I liked the feeling. The problem was I just never knew when I'd go overboard.

I'd be having a good time and the next thing I'm waking the following morning in my bed not remembering what happened.

BackToSquareOne

At first it seems like the nectar of the gods, the greatest thing since sliced bread. It puts reality on hold for a little while then it wears off and all hell breaks loose, withdrawal and detox introduce you to the other side of the coin. Alcohol gives new meaning to "What goes up must come down". If you buy the ticket you always have to take the full ride, too bad you can't get off at the good part.

jagger2012

I sure can relate to this...both my parents drank every night and I thought I would be grown up when I could do the same. I got drunk the very first time I remember drinking at age 15...I'm now 4 months away from turning 40 and I am finally ready to surrender and admit I am not in control of this at all. My daughter has seen me drunk probably around 10 times and thats 10 times to many. I want better for her and me.

Popeye2014

I first drank just to see what a Hangover felt like. (smile)

I must have like the hangovers, cause I kept drinking for about 35 more years

I guess I shouldn't been so curious.

LBrain

in the beginning I drank because it was the thing to do. at the end (35+ years later)I drank because I had to

Popeye2014

I think a lot of people feel the same way.

Carlotta

I started drinking in my thirties. I was going through a very stressful time and drank to self medicate and deal with the anxiety. I was never a drinker before, I don't like the taste of alcohol (except for champagne and old cognac) and I grew up in an alcoholic home. So my drinking was abnormal from the get go, I never cared for social drinking and it was not a case of partying gone awry, just going knowingly to the bottle to numb myself and obliterate my feelings.
Even as a teem or a college students, I seldom got buzzed when going out. There was never anything "social" about my drinking quite the contrary.

thisisme

I used death of a loved one to really go overboard but it was an excuse. It was always me.

Judas

I started drinking when I was 17 or so. It turned this ordinarily shy, reserved, quiet guy into what I thought was an outgoing, funny, confident guy who was good with the ladies. Of course, over the years it got progressively worse, as it does. Pretty soon I couldn't go a weekend without drinking. The thought of going to a party and not drinking was crazy to me. The thought of going out on a date with a girl without drinking was absurd. Drinking became the most important thing in my life in short order, and has caused me to do some incredibly stupid things over the year. I am thankful for my sobriety every single day, because I never want to return to that position again in my life.

Pagekeeper

I was 11 the first time I caught a buzz off 3 wine coolers. I had never felt so good in my life, so utterly free, loved, and at home in the world. Next time, I was 13, and I wanted to experience that feeling again. From the very beginning, I drank because I liked the effects. I quit for a few months once in my early 20's and I remember taking the first few drinks and feeling like I was "real" again, somehow more myself and in control.

And to some degree, I experienced this same euphoria for many years with the first few drinks. Problem was I could never stop at just a few. And the more I drank, the less "real" I became, and the more I turned into a person I didn't know and didn't want to know. The shame of my behavior would be forgotten in those first few drinks, but then I would just pile more shame on top of it with the next bender or blackout.

Finally, it got to the point where I was no longer experiencing euphoria or a high from the first few drinks. I just felt "normal." I would go from feeling normal to being blacked out in a very short time. I no longer wanted to drink, but I didn't know how not to drink. I made many promises to myself and to others that I would quit. I sincerely meant them at the time. But then a thought would come in my mind that it would be different this time, and I could recapture those feelings of earlier days.

In the end, I was on the very opposite side of the spectrum with alcohol. Instead of it making me feel real, free, loved, and at home in the world, I felt petrified, isolated, paranoid, and less than human. I had lost all control.

I have regained much of myself in sobriety and I'm discovering who I really am as well. I can't say I have experienced anything like the euphoria that came with taking a few drinks ... but I have experienced something more authentic. In order to be truly human, I have to experience the full spectrum of human emotions, not just the parts I want all the time. The bad is only bad when I am in it. Most times I come out the other side learning a new lesson or a way to improve.

Right now my dog is sleeping next to me on the sofa, just snoring away and twitching her paws. That is the sort of thing that gives me happiness today. I suppose I have become easier to please.

DoubleDragons

My family drank a lot. I started drinking on weekends when I was 14 or 15. It felt great to be relieved of my anxiety and worries and it just felt like the normal thing to do. By the time I was a sophomore in college I knew that I had a problem. Once that alcohol hit me, there was no telling what I was going to do. I told my parents about it, but they made light of it, like I was a being a drama queen or that I should just "control it." I didn't quit until I was 43. I sometimes still feel like a newborn baby, half way through my life, learning to live without my crutch. But I wouldn't trade my sobriety for the world!

Carbonized

Started drinking regularly in my early 20s. I liked the feelings i got from it and as time went on it was the daily go to so as to be able to tolerate life enough to make it another day. Great for treating a phobic, neurotic, life damaged, misanthropic personality. Have never been able to afford any real mental health care so alcohol it was.

Went through withdrawal on my own with no medical assistance whatsoever and sometimes find myself thinking that if things fail again, might as well go back to drinking or maybe switch to heroin.

strongandsober

I started drinking because I was incredibly unhappy in my marriage. I stopped after I got divorced (except for some social drinking) but when our kid started having extreme anxiety & panic attacks about going to his dad's house & my attorney said I couldn't do anything about it, I drank so I wouldn't be a wreck every weekend. That slowly turned into drinking every time I was stressed, which turned into all the time.

I stopped because I want to have a good relationship with my kid and he was getting old enough to start figuring out why I acted different sometimes. And I want to remember his childhood.

zjw

drinking was fun but it was also a nice escape. I liked getting numb to what ailed me. So i drank to self medicate and to have fun. in the end it was strictly self medication there was never much fun about it anymore.

And i know its going to sound wrong but even now at 3+ years sobriety the thought of being able to numb it all like i once could sounds enticing and relieving. I sometimes wish i could just get a break. But I know I cant and I gotta keep fighting the good fight.

I never liked the taste but I aquired a liking to it. I recall drinking the first few as fast as i could just to get much needed relief from life. I had a friend who would moan when he took the first few bong hits for the day and he'd be like oh thank god. I was much the same when i drank my first few drinks of the day. sickening I know.