lifereturning

Hi All.
I am really glad of this site and have been reading posts constantly for inspiration and information.
The past 5 weeks have been pretty rotten and I am hoping for a turn around some time soon (I am gaining weight, snapping at people/angry at life, depressed and tired).
However, the last 2 -3 days have started to show small improvements in my thinking and I am starting to accomplish a few small things.

Anyway, I am waiting in hope and have a thought which some of you might wish to comment on; Do you think that there might be an additional danger to going back to drinking within the first 3-4 months (3-4 months being reasonable body and mind recovery time)?
The reason I ask is that a few months ago I 'fell off the wagon' at 6 weeks and my life went out of control - like my brain was damaged, I was behaving much more erratically than my normal drinking self- soon afterwards.
So prior to this I was drinking, but managing. I knew I was not anywhere near my peak so put the effort into quitting. I just wonder if it is a really bad time to start drinking given that your brain chemicals are in a state of flux or something?

RecklessEric

Hi.
I suspect everybody here will tell you that any time is a really bad time to start drinking.
I found that when I drank after admitting to myself that I need to stop, things went out of control quickly too.
I honestly don't know if it's a chemical thing or what, but I don't really care.
It was mayhem for me and my family.

And that happened more than once, so it wasn't an anomaly.
Do yourself a favour and push on through this period.
No good will come of having a drink, trust me.

dwtbd

I'm not sure on how you mean the question. But if you are asking when is a good time to start drinking again, I'd ask why you think you would be 'better' at it the next time.

lifereturning

Sorry I know it seems like a bit of a strange/silly question.
Starting drinking again is never going to be a good outcome, I accept that. I just wondered if there were any studies or anecdotal evidence of excessive damage done to the body and mind by going sober long enough to get past early withdrawal - i.e. 2 weeks (where body has gone through major detox) but not long enough to reach a moderate recovery stage - i.e. 90 -100 days (where body has probably adjusted to sobriety.
My question is based on a hunch, that is all.

Dee74

I think there a real danger in going back if you lose your faith in being sober.
I think you might have this bass ackwards - you're not feeling crummy because you're sober
It can take a while for our mind and body to heal - If you're like me you drank for years, and hard.

It took me 3-4 months to begin to feel ok.

I know you've had a rough time of it - have you seen a Dr about your concerns at all?

D

dwtbd

I vote for keeping it moot

Not sure how scientific the findings(though I do have some anecdotal evidence), but if you are curious you could research 'kindling' or 'kindling effect'

silentrun

I never really tried to quit before. There where times in the beginning I would quit for a month or 2 to lose weight or work out more. I would reach my goal and then start drinking. I did notice that after those abstinences my drinking seemed to escalate after starting again. I think you are in danger of relapse the shorter period of time you have in. It seemed like it took about 6 weeks for the first wave of depression to lift. At the 4 month mark whatever my brain was doing to reverse the damage started to become noticeable.
I do know that I tried to get drunk this time right around the 90 day mark. Whatever my body had done to adjust to the onslaught had already been reversed. As soon as I started drinking my stomach blew up. My brain was screaming for more but my body just wouldn't go along with it. That never happened 7 or 8 years ago when I quit just to lose weight.

lillyknitting

It always amazed me that after a long period of abstinence I could pick up a drink and get even more totally blasted than I used to!!!

MarathonMan

I think I understand the question lifereturning....I quite back in Feb for 4 months, I'd finally accepted i had a problem and that this was what I had to do. When I relapsed it was bad, all the fight I had that used to help me try to find some level of moderation seemed to be gone and i spirralled down further than I'd ever been before in a shockingly quick amount of time.

I think going back to alcohol after admitting to being an alcoholic is different than going back the times when we thought we could still moderate....you went back knowing you couldn't so your head decided what was the point in fighting it and went all out on the booze.....that's what happened to me anyway.

I don't know about you but I'm not sure I could go back again and come out of it unscathed......being an alcoholic for me is a disease of the mind....every time we go back our heads get further damaged until I suppose there comes a point where there is just no going back.

mpr

What is your goal ultimately? It sounds like you wanted to sober up and return to drinking, if that is the case well whatever problems you had before you sobered up are likely going to return, sorry to say.

You have not been sober long enough I think. You can attempt to moderate I suppose but that is often a slippery slope. I guess it just depends on what your ultimate goal is, to be sober or to be a normal drinker?

Hasluck21

Congratulations Lifereturning on reaching 5 weeks.
In the past I've succumbed around day 45 several times. By coincidence a report into Naltrexone and Acamprosate that I read recently also reported a median relapse around day 45 (together or in combination) for those who relapsed.
My partner who is 25 years plus sober warned me about the anger that arises around 6 weeks. So maybe your hunch has something in it.
Today I'm day 4 sober and I'm determined to make sobriety one day at a time. I never want to see the fear and desperation in my partners eyes again.

lifereturning

Reading a few other comments and more about kindling and tolerance I think now once you start the process of quitting you need to complete it! 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years, we are going to quickly wreck ourselves because the tolerance has gone and the brain is altered after the initial withdrawal. I was eating healthy and had detoxed - then I went and poisoned myself afresh.

Hasluck21

Hi Lifereturning
Stick with it. It's just for today. Maybe go to a meeting. Pamper yourself. Join a new group. Take up a hobby you've always wanted to do. Help someone else. Do some charity work. Write down 10 things that you're grateful for...

Newpathway

I think your question is interesting. I am curious about what has happened in the brain that once you give it some weeks, months or more of abstinence it becomes a whole different brain if you ever drink again. The return to drinking is apparently so far more dangerous than it ever was before. I'm curious to understand this better.

lifereturning

Thanks. You got it!

lifereturning

1. Has the brain changed and/or deteriorated ? Is the brain especially vulnerable in certain ways in very early recovery?
2. Could a sober stop/start cycle cause long term damage in a different way from continued drinking?
or: do we just lose our physical tolerance but psychologically we want the same as before, causing progressively worse episodes?