Going Public or Not
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
Going Public or Not
When you finally decided to stop Drinking, did you tell everyone you have quit drinking or did you make excuses in the beginning in order to avoid Alcohol (e.g taking antibiotics etc etc)
If Yes or No, please explain Why?
If Yes or No, please explain Why?
Yes, I told many around me to provide an adequate level of accountability. It also fed into my rigorous honesty. However, some of these decisions which helped me get sober still linger as many people stigmatize addiction. So I would say finding a sponsor or a confident who has been through this is helpful to guide some of the decisions.
In my case I was like an unguided missile. I was well intended but I felt my way was better and smarter and did amends to some early when I clearly should not have and told others in a "coming out" so to speak, which have real effects now just over a year sober.
In my case I was like an unguided missile. I was well intended but I felt my way was better and smarter and did amends to some early when I clearly should not have and told others in a "coming out" so to speak, which have real effects now just over a year sober.
I was not going to tell anyone. One person knew and they told everyone else in the family including my children, their friends, my ex-husband and various random people. This was done in a negative way and without my consent. Needless to say I was pretty upset about it.
At work, nobody knows. I don't have AA slogans on my cube wall or speak slogans.
My recovery is personal to me. It is mine and for me to own and be responsible for. I am not out in the open to anyone others than fellow AA members and my children.
The rest of the world does not need to know. I am sure they have seen a change in me over the last year and it keeps them guessing
At work, nobody knows. I don't have AA slogans on my cube wall or speak slogans.
My recovery is personal to me. It is mine and for me to own and be responsible for. I am not out in the open to anyone others than fellow AA members and my children.
The rest of the world does not need to know. I am sure they have seen a change in me over the last year and it keeps them guessing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
My thought was to tell everyone that I have quit drinking, so just like you said it makes me more accountable and perhaps forces me to show that I am not drinking and equally for people to not offer me. However I would not tell them that the reason is that I have a problem with drink but for some other reason (religious)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
I told everyone I quit drinking....but I didn't shout it from the rooftops....I didn't take an ad out in the newspaper....just as the social events came, and I was offered the inevitable drink, I politely just said ' no thanks, I'm not drinking, do you have a diet coke?' Little by little everyone caught on to the fact that I was sober. Only my immediate family knew / knows the extent of my ( former ) alcohol abuse, and the daily effort I put into my recovery.
Everyone is different. Find what works for you.
Everyone is different. Find what works for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
I told everyone I quit drinking....but I didn't shout it from the rooftops....I didn't take an ad out in the newspaper....just as the social events came, and I was offered the inevitable drink, I politely just said ' no thanks, I'm not drinking, do you have a diet coke?' Little by little everyone caught on to the fact that I was sober. Only my immediate family knew / knows the extent of my ( former ) alcohol abuse, and the daily effort I put into my recovery.
Everyone is different. Find what works for you.
Everyone is different. Find what works for you.
I agree with you on that one, I'm not about to put it on facebook or anything like that, but I would let people know I've stopped drinking when asked if I wanted a drink.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
NO.
It is nobody's business to know but mine. I told my doctor and those in my sobriety PLAN who were a part of my accountability scheme and that's it. (I'm assuming the AA people don't count because they are at the same meetings as I.)
Anonymity is paramount to my sobriety. Period.
It is nobody's business to know but mine. I told my doctor and those in my sobriety PLAN who were a part of my accountability scheme and that's it. (I'm assuming the AA people don't count because they are at the same meetings as I.)
Anonymity is paramount to my sobriety. Period.
I made excuses at first because it was my business. After a while I would just say I don't drink and if anyone was idiotic enough to ask why, I'd just repeat I don't drink. My family and close friends know but it doesn't really bother me any more. xxx
When I first entered treatment, I did not tell anyone who didn't already know. I am pretty sure I did this to leave the door open to return to drinking without having to explain that I was fine and treatment was a big mistake and not necessary after all.
Four weeks later, after I admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and not drinking was the only way out, I told everyone for the opposite reason. I wanted to make it as hard as possible to return to drinking without someone saying "Hey, I thought you went though treatment for that three months ago?"
Odd thing. When I told my family that I was in treatment, not one of them said "You? In treatment? What on earth for?"
Four weeks later, after I admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and not drinking was the only way out, I told everyone for the opposite reason. I wanted to make it as hard as possible to return to drinking without someone saying "Hey, I thought you went though treatment for that three months ago?"
Odd thing. When I told my family that I was in treatment, not one of them said "You? In treatment? What on earth for?"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
When I first entered treatment, I did not tell anyone who didn't already know. I am pretty sure I did this to leave the door open to return to drinking without having to explain that I was fine and treatment was a big mistake and not necessary after all.
Four weeks later, after I admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and not drinking was the only way out, I told everyone for the opposite reason. I wanted to make it as hard as possible to return to drinking without someone saying "Hey, I thought you went though treatment for that three months ago?"
Odd thing. When I told my family that I was in treatment, not one of them said "You? In treatment? What on earth for?"
Four weeks later, after I admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and not drinking was the only way out, I told everyone for the opposite reason. I wanted to make it as hard as possible to return to drinking without someone saying "Hey, I thought you went though treatment for that three months ago?"
Odd thing. When I told my family that I was in treatment, not one of them said "You? In treatment? What on earth for?"
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I wouldn't not discuss it as long as I felt it was an appropriate and comfortable situation. Family and friends obviously notice that you have stopped , just from day to day association, dinner and social gatherings things like that. It has come up in other than family situations, but I don't remember ever initiating a conversation about it.
But then again I'm a mess of contradiction, my avatar is a pic of the tattoo I got around my first year mark. It's not visible unless I make it so , and even then it's a hard to discern script of a not commonly used word "sufficit" loosely Latin for enough, it's my reminder or accountability 'stamp' to myself
But then again I'm a mess of contradiction, my avatar is a pic of the tattoo I got around my first year mark. It's not visible unless I make it so , and even then it's a hard to discern script of a not commonly used word "sufficit" loosely Latin for enough, it's my reminder or accountability 'stamp' to myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
I wouldn't not discuss it as long as I felt it was an appropriate and comfortable situation. Family and friends obviously notice that you have stopped , just from day to day association, dinner and social gatherings things like that. It has come up in other than family situations, but I don't remember ever initiating a conversation about it.
But then again I'm a mess of contradiction, my avatar is a pic of the tattoo I got around my first year mark. It's not visible unless I make it so , and even then it's a hard to discern script of a not commonly used word "sufficit" loosely Latin for enough, it's my reminder or accountability 'stamp' to myself
But then again I'm a mess of contradiction, my avatar is a pic of the tattoo I got around my first year mark. It's not visible unless I make it so , and even then it's a hard to discern script of a not commonly used word "sufficit" loosely Latin for enough, it's my reminder or accountability 'stamp' to myself
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 36
What i've found in the past is that barely anyone noticed that I was no longer drinking, only those closest to me.
Most people really won't care that/why you don't drink unless you bring it up.
Easy responses I'm driving, I'm on a health kick, I don't fancy one, had my fair share yesterday.....whatever.
Most people really won't care that/why you don't drink unless you bring it up.
Easy responses I'm driving, I'm on a health kick, I don't fancy one, had my fair share yesterday.....whatever.
When I drank I didn't care who knew or who saw me drunk. So when I quit, I was just as willing to tell anyone I didn't drink anymore.
Thing was, I found that few people cared about my not drinking.
Thing was, I found that few people cared about my not drinking.
I told no one. My husband and children were aware things were changing though. In the beginning I was very, very low and vulnerable. If I had told people in my life, I knew I would feel even worse. And, before long, there was no need to tell anyone. It was just part of my life. For me, alcoholism and recovery is a very personal journey.
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