philly76

I don't know if anyone else has encountered this. But I wake up fully motivated, ready to kick drinking. Then around 4 or 5 PM I start rationalizing buying a bottle of wine. I mean whether I wake up refreshed or hungover, I usually wake up resigned to not drink. But inevitably I lose that resolve by 4 PM. Has anyone else dealt with this? Has anyone found a way to get that resolve back well into the afternoon/evening?

jsprplc2006

This is exactly what I do. For me, it's a "getting off work and having a good chunk of free time" thing, which is always when it's most feasible to get drunk. I got into that sort of routine (I'm guessing maybe you have too?), so I think that the reason you we lose our resolve to not drink is that we've come to anticipate and look forward to the pleasure we experience when we drink after work, and we then feel cheated/uneasy/etc. when that time of day rolls around and we consider denying ourselves that routine pleasure.

I think the key will be to realize that those unpleasant feelings are a normal reaction from an addicted brain, and to trust that the 4-o'clock cravings will pass later in the evening.

MsJax

I hope you can stop now. You realize what you're doing at least, you can take charge of yourself and get sober Now. Stay and read here. Read the recovery stories section. Go to aa. Go to an addiction counselor. You just have to start somewhere.

It gets scary, I remember that mindset. I went from waiting all day for a drink, I eventually just started drinking all day. Had to drink on the way to work to stop the heaves.

zjw

i'd wake up feeling so awful from the night before. I never even realized how bad awful was till i got sober. My baseline for normal was way off!. I'd swear that evening i would not drink. Normally by noon i'd start thinking about drinking that evening by 4 or 5 i was really eager and/or cracking open the first drink feeling totally refreshed from the mornings horrors.

Eventually I got to the point where I didnt think much about not drinking that evening even tho i felt so horrible. I new it was my routine and I kinda looked forward to it even tho I still felt terrible from the night before.

By the end of the day I was also very frustrated with life and really needed a drink to take that edge off anyhow.

How did I break it? I just stopped. I tapered a few days but then I just abruptly stopped One evening I just didnt have any. I climbed the walls I drank tea read books etc.. The next day I woke up not feeling so awful that was only kind of encouraging. So I didnt drink again that evening I new it would be bad but oddly it wasnt as bad as the first The next morning I woke up and felt a fair amt better I started to think this not drinking isnt too terrible I mean I wake up feeling good and i'm sober and alert all day thats kind of an interesting change. Those aspects where good having to cope with life was hard still.

In time it got better. But I wont lie that first day I had to just bite the bullet and not drink.

ScottFromWI

5pm was a strong signal for me to start drinking too initially. Try changing your routine so you can do something else to keep you occupied at that time. Posting here or an AA meeting comes to mind?

Climber122

Well there's a lot going against you at around 4 or 5 PM. You've been out all day working or doing other things, you're tired and you're hungry - those things are in the body and work against your resolve. In addition to that, you've established a habit of feeding an addiction at the same time every day, and if you are an addict your brain is ready for the daily dose which is very hard to say "no" to. If you tell it "no," the addiction then tells you "but I earned it" or "I just need to unwind" or "I can't deal with (fill in the blank) right now" or "I'll quit tomorrow"... etc... and then *boom* the first drink is down and we're off to the races again. So everything is working against your resolve at 4 or 5PM. To change this behavior I would suggest changing the routine:

- If you go by a favorite liquor store, go home a different route.

- Eat a well rounded dinner as soon as you get home, or snack healthily on the way home.

- Perhaps most importantly, hit a recovery meeting as often as you feel the need to drink. That is certainly something different that will address the addiction. You will also meet people who will give you someone to call when you feel like drinking. If you really want to quit, then it is just a matter of learning some tools that help ride out early recovery long enough to start to heal.

It's hard to change, but if you do what always do the results will likely be the same. Try a few of those suggestions and see how your afternoon goes. If you are still struggling then you might consider finding a drug and alcohol counselor and use their help to see if you can develop a plan to quit.

allenmc25

I get off work at 4:30 this is when I have always started drinking. I have never been a day drinker. I think the evening brings the time we are normally drinking. I know every morning im ready to not drink then as the day goes by I find myself fabricate my excuse for the day. Thinking its just one more day or this was just a harder day than normal at work. This is my routine.

trachemys

IMO, you need a change in thinking.

"But I wake up fully motivated, ready to kick drinking." This says you wake up thinking you're a drinker. If you want to quit, you have to wake up as a non-drinker.

"...I usually wake up resigned to not drink." Resigned? Resigned is a word that denotes regret, or something you have to do, not want to do.

Change your mind, change your life.

trailrunrbyday

Someone at one of the meetings I attended said "change your playground and change your playmates" in response to that question when it was posed. I too would roll home and reward myself with a glass of wine while I started to cook dinner and so it would begin.

I found a big part of that jabot was just sipping something - I bought a sodastream(carbonates water) and I constantly have a frost glass of carbonated water, ice and slices of lemon and lime

I go to meetings. Every evening and for me it anchors the day, gives me new hope and confirmation of my good decision to work at just these 24 hours - and human contact(and phone numbers) with people who understand and support me(and need the support) ... You cannot have what you don't give away - I am still early in this journey and I know that even I help someone new who is working on their first 24

Introduce (or reintroduce) new activities - I am reading, taking walks, riding my road bike and setting up my painting studio again - without being hammered I suddenly have oodles of time to do wonderful and gratifying things

Best of luck to you. Be open to change. Embrace the GIFT of sobriety day by day - don't mourne a path of misery and destruction.

Be well.
Kim

zjw

My boss on a call one day made a comment along the lines of I cant wait for a beer after work. I thought he either needs a new job or a new hobby. I felt sympathy for him that he felt the /need/ to go do that after work.

My mindset is dfferent then it was back then. It all starts by breaking the cycle.

Nonsensical

I probably had at least a hundred mornings where I woke up, poured every drop of liquor in the house down the drain and said, "never again". That evening I was either going to the liquor store or pacing my house like a caged animal, a battle raging in my head that no one else could see or understand.

It's called addiction. The only good way out of that cycle is to starve that addiction away. It only takes a few months of distracting yourself with new things to break the cycle.

I did this. You can do this.

gaffo

I wish there was an easy answer. Breaking the cycle was really hard for me as well. I would wake up thinking "Why do I do this to myself? What did I get out of that?" Drinking did help with my hangovers but did it really? I can still remember the torture. The idiotic logic of having a full blown hangover one day, drinking enough to function, more or less, so I could wake up feeling okay the next day and put the hammer down again. Wash, rinse, repeat. I don't know why it took me so long to remember the bad stuff when I was feeling good but I finally got it, thank God! I guess part of it is putting together the fact that feeling good is NOT and excuse to drink.

Good Luck!

dwtbd

For me there was no secret or way , other than keeping the resolve. Years of fits and starts, and then finally realizing that quitting was just that quitting.

It's simple , not easy. I found the first week was very difficult to keep the resolve and not be hoodwinked by a very strong AV presence, any positive thoughts about alcohol use. After that first week , I could really start to feel the nondrinker taking hold. But it has to start with knowing that you can be a nondrinker, and knowing that the beginning is going to be a heck of a mindgame. It gets easier , and better, it is difficult, but not impossible, proof being I did it, and I would not have bet a year ago that I could, but I did, and you can too.
RR and AVRT were tremendous resources and inspirations for me. You got this , and trying to break the cycle is definately the first step!

PurpleKnight

For me part of it is breaking old habits, drinking is what I did after work for years, that was my routine!!

The other thing is that by the time I'm nearly finished work, I'm stressed, feeling tired, probably angry and frustrated at some things or some people and feeling hungry before having dinner, at that point alcohol seems like a pretty attractive solution to it all!!

Addressing all of those things with other methods without reaching for alcohol has helped me achieve some long term Sober results, I had to learn how to deal with life and my emotions in other ways!!

philly76

All very well said and well received. I need to take one of those nights that I actually do "stop" and carry on with it, despite the sweats, the anxiety, and the overall ass hole-ishness it creates.

Pipping

It is hard. I used to be amazed that by 4pm I was driving myself to a liquor store after suffering like crazy with a hang over that morning. I started eating dinner earlier because when I was full I didn't really want to drink. I just kept myself busy or let myself feel bored. It's strange at first but not feeling like death each morning becomes really exciting really quickly. Good luck.

AAecon

Story of my life

MelindaFlowers

I would log in here every day around 5 pm when I would get home from work. There were some days I didn't feel like it but I figured that I had to put in as much work into sobriety as I put into drinking. I made a five o'clock appointment with just me and the laptop on the couch.

I know how incredibly difficult it is to break the cycle. Five o'clock used to be my favorite part of the day. Honestly, the daily cycle wasn't the reason I stopped. I stopped because I couldn't take the daily hangovers anymore. You just have to keep this at the front of your mind every single day: I am not gong to drink today. If I drink tonight I will have a hangover tomorrow.

The first week were like eating shards of glass covered in bleach when it came to white-knuckling the cravings. But you know what? You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. I was so sick of drinking this past June that I just had to do it.

I know it's hard to imagine, but a few weeks in the habit begins to fade. You still think about "drinking" as a concept, but you're not holding your keys, standing in your living room asking "Do I? Do I not? Do I?"

You can do this if you really want it. I didn't think I could last a week. I'm not sure if I could have if I thought of it as a week. I had to add up single days. One after the other. Day 47 here. It does get easier.

Boleo

You might be experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I usually got that between 5 - 7 PM. It was a precursor to DT's (Delirium Tremens).

pounding

and mine....