How to deal with this person
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
How to deal with this person
Sooo, I've recently flushed my Facebook of negative influences (i.e. My drinking friends, people who post negative things, etc) and people who I don't talk to anymore and literally probably won't ever talk to again. Literally deleted over 200 people.
I haven't made much contact with any of my old drinking friends, which is fine by me. I still have very few close friends, my family and my boyfriend.
There is this one guy though. He was best friends with an old boyfriend I dated 6 years ago. That boyfriend was a fantastic guy with a good heart. Couldn't hurt a fly. He was a recovering addict. At the time, I didn't think he was using.
He passed away because of heroine. It was a rough thing to get through.
His best friend is still on my Facebook and also still contacts me via text message every so often. He's a good guy at heart too. But whenever he contacts me, he makes sexual innuendos and such. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. He knows I have a boyfriend because I have it on my Facebook and I've told him numerous times.
He lives in a completely different state so I don't see him often at all.
I just would feel awful to cut contact with him due to the circumstances surrounding my (then) boyfriend and his best friends death. We've just had so many good conversations an were there for each other back then.
The messages now just make me uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure what to do at this point. My guilt would get to me if I just blocked his number and blocked him on Facebook.
I don't exactly know why I'm writing this. Guess I just needed to vent.
I haven't made much contact with any of my old drinking friends, which is fine by me. I still have very few close friends, my family and my boyfriend.
There is this one guy though. He was best friends with an old boyfriend I dated 6 years ago. That boyfriend was a fantastic guy with a good heart. Couldn't hurt a fly. He was a recovering addict. At the time, I didn't think he was using.
He passed away because of heroine. It was a rough thing to get through.
His best friend is still on my Facebook and also still contacts me via text message every so often. He's a good guy at heart too. But whenever he contacts me, he makes sexual innuendos and such. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. He knows I have a boyfriend because I have it on my Facebook and I've told him numerous times.
He lives in a completely different state so I don't see him often at all.
I just would feel awful to cut contact with him due to the circumstances surrounding my (then) boyfriend and his best friends death. We've just had so many good conversations an were there for each other back then.
The messages now just make me uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure what to do at this point. My guilt would get to me if I just blocked his number and blocked him on Facebook.
I don't exactly know why I'm writing this. Guess I just needed to vent.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
It sounds like this guy isn't getting the message that you don't want his inappropriate messages! If he's making you uncomfortable and not changing his tune, it may be time to cut him out. This is all about you and how you feel and controlling how people communicate with you on your terms. Give him one more chance if you feel badly, but if he violates the friend code again, cut him loose. Just my two cents.
Lisa.
Lisa.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Mountainman has it right... Let him know that some of the things he says that crosses over the "friends" line upsets you, and you'd appreciate it if he knocked it off. If he continues, then cut him off. Chances are he'll cut it off himself once he is told you're only interested in being "friends"...
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