beatle

All of you think, "I might be able to have a few now that I've been sober for a while". Don't do it! I was sober for over 2 1/2 years. Before, I drank to cope and it grew to a real problem. Never considered myself a true alcoholic, because I drank 20 years without a real problem. I enjoyed sobriety, but always felt like I was missing out at events, especially summer. We have a lake house and had friends over for an extended weekend. I told my wife that I was going to have a few and enjoy my time with everyone. The first day I had a glass of wine at the campfire, the second day 2 glasses, the 3rd day 3 glasses and the 4th day a lot. The next day I woke up with a horrible hangover and it was aweful!!! My old urges to have a morning drink we're overbearing and I caved in. Boom, just like that and my destructive pattern was back. I am mad, angry and scared!!! All that time sober and gone in a flash. It's off to work this morning and I'm very low, determined to get back on track..don't know if I'm doomed or not. I opened that door again, can I close it?

PurpleKnight

I didn't really start making any inroads into my drinking until I finally accepted I can't have one drink, and I can't moderate, abstinence in some way doesn't cure or fix me, how could it? so the door needs to be kept firmly shut and Sobriety is the only way forward.

The door can be closed, as I went round in circles for a year from Sobriety to "trying moderation", failing and then repeating. Once I figured out my thought process I finally cracked it.

You can too!!

Hawkeye13

Yes the door can be closed, but don't be surprised if you have some nasty detox
symptoms--maybe check with doctor to ease these and be safe.

Just make up your mind no more and that's it.
I relapsed for 6 weeks last August and that was my final time.

You can stop again but I strongly suggest you don't tempt fate with even one more drink

ScottFromWI

You definitely aren't doomed - anyone can live a sober life if they really want it and choose to do the work required. I'd agree that no matter what program or method you choose to move forward, the first necessary thing is accepting that you cannot drink at all. There is no such thing as "just a couple".

Spinach

It's all good news as you know now you can't that part of your mind has a long memory and wants oblivion quickly.
Get straight back on the wagon and get those days counting and start really enforcing positive thoughts on sobriety rather than good but second class living.
I believe how much better my life is without and even though subtle changes life is so much richer ,but it took time and structure in thinking to get past that sticking point.
Fingers crossed .
John.

Gilmer

You know very well that a sober life is very much richer than a drunken life. Alcoholism is a progressive thing: even though you were perfectly capable of moderating 15 years ago, you clearly cannot moderate any more. The drunken, sodden life is not for you. Simply do not drink again. Never take that first drink. "Normal" social drinking is impossible.

fini

All of you think, "I might be able to have a few now that I've been sober for a while".

beatle,
no, we don't all think that.
i don't.
and i know there are many more who don't.


really accepting that i was a drunk, which to me meant knowing i could never "have a few now" killed those thoughts.
gone.
have not returned.


if you're ready to close the door, if you know deep down that you cannot control, then that option is off the table and that crazy thought need not ever enter your head again.

doesn't mean you may not feel an urge, or a craving, a desire, but those are not the same as a thought that after some sobriety i can now drink again.

no, you're not doomed; don't allow yourself to convince yourself of such a convenient excuse to drink.

good to hear you want back on track.

nigey1

Thanks for returning and keep us posted.

sydpet18

It is the first drink that does the damage. How can you get drunk if you don't have the first drink ? You have opened the door ... had a drink ... can you close it ? I think you already have !! You have described how a few drinks leads to 50. Zero alcohol means peace of mind, rather than being mad and angry.