sjg3

Every day I wake up and say 'today I'm not going to drink' but around 2 hours into my day I feel sick and know if I have 'one drink' it will go away and I'll feel well again.... Obvs it's never one drink though!
I hate drinking! I had to rearrange an appointment at the addiction unit last week coz I was Away and the receptionist said they'd ring me back about a new date and they haven't and I keep meaning to phone to chase it up but once I've had my 'one drink' I just don't!
I have no motivation, no self esteem, I'm paranoid, I feel physically ill, I feel fat, I just feel horrible yet I CANT STOP DRINKING!
This morning I had just two glasses of wine and stopped (which was really good for me) but then after an hour I poured another glass even though I didn't even fancy any! It's like just a habit like biting your nails or something only going to the fridge!
Sorry for the rant I'm just so annoyed with myself! I really don't want to drink tomorrow but I know I will! I hate it and myself so much grr!

PurpleKnight

I spent a year trying to quit, round and round in circles I went, good intentions and then I would drink, it was depressing and frustrating.

We gotta break the pattern and short circuit the thought process somehow, are you getting any support? meetings? etc etc, because something needs to change in your day to day routine for the results to change.

It can be done, and you can do it too

sjg3

Thank you! I know of a women's support group but that's only on a Wednesday morning.... And I still haven't plucked up the courage to go yet! I really want to though I think I will this coming Wednesday, but apart from that I don't have any support really.
I think of loads of things I want to do to fill up my days so I'm not thinking about drinking but then it gets to doing them and I just don't! It really is so frustrating!i know I'm moaning about myself and there's only me that can change it but you know when you just really need to vent haha! Ok tomorrow I WILL get up and join my family on a day out.... I told them I would but I usually cancel last min! Tomorrow I will!

Mountainmanbob

I awoke on many a morning with those same thoughts
Today I will not drink
Only to have a beer in my hand within an hour or two
Make a firm decision and try your best to stick to it
Never give in to the liquid devil
MM

IOAA2

Hi. Have you examined the idea of a visit with your doctor and being honest about your situation? Perhaps a detox and a stay at a rehab would be beneficial.

BE WELL

Notimetoloose

I know exactly what you mean.
The women's support group sounds like a great support, non threatening, non judgemental and like minded woman all trying to achieve the same thing.

Mark it on your calendar and on your phone and put a note on the fridge and make that the one thing that you are going to do....even if you have had a drink, even if you are not feeling to well...you can do this....

FeelingGreat

Hi sj3, I went for a long time doing the 'won't drink today' but it didn't mean a thing when the urges started. You're at the point where you really want to stop, which is good. What worked for me was using the internet to get info about alcoholism (i.e. scare myself silly about the future) and talk honestly to my doctor.
You're ready to stop, but having support can make a huge difference.

Gottalife

I cant help thinking detox will be the best way forward. It only takes a few days for the worst of the alcoholic fog to clear, then the problem becomes one of how to stay detoxed. Possibly you can get into a rehab, which will help a lot, but without some long term follow up, rehabs also can only provide temporary relief.

If you can get to detox or rehab or both, it will be important to have a follow up plan, some sort of ongoing support to stay sober. AA worked well for me.

jutam

I did that same thing for years..... its just horrible. I had to leave my life and go somewhere else until I had a grip on sober.... good luck.