not doing so well, need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: chicago
Posts: 26
not doing so well, need advice
So basically for awhile I wasn't drinking, and cut back. I recently have gone through some huge changes in life and can't go one day without crying hysterically and drinking an entire fifth of liquor, plus more.
I have never felt so alone and sad. Ever.
I know I need to change my ways, and my body is seriously rejecting the alcohol after years of abuse, yet I can't find a way to stop. I kick myself every morning after and tell myself never again...but then a day later it's back to square one. I want to quit so badly and desire to by all means, but I truly don't know what is wrong with me.
I wish I could be as strong as you guys. I live a great life and count my blessings every day, but there is something internally gnawing at me. What advice/help can you give me?
I have never felt so alone and sad. Ever.
I know I need to change my ways, and my body is seriously rejecting the alcohol after years of abuse, yet I can't find a way to stop. I kick myself every morning after and tell myself never again...but then a day later it's back to square one. I want to quit so badly and desire to by all means, but I truly don't know what is wrong with me.
I wish I could be as strong as you guys. I live a great life and count my blessings every day, but there is something internally gnawing at me. What advice/help can you give me?
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi Mary.
Take a deep breath. You've begun the healing process by reaching out here where there is a great deal of support and empathy.
If you have a friend you can trust, then by all means reach out to your friend. You can also call the AA Helpline in your area. They're available 24/7 and can help you to calm down and sort things out while you're going through what probably feels like a nervous breakdown. Most of us have been exactly where you are, and we've gotten to a better place by asking for help.
Whatever you do, there are usually people here who are eager to offer their support. If you're experiencing physical symptoms due to your drinking that concern you, consider getting yourself to the ER.
Bear in mind that you're not alone. Not anymore.
Take a deep breath. You've begun the healing process by reaching out here where there is a great deal of support and empathy.
If you have a friend you can trust, then by all means reach out to your friend. You can also call the AA Helpline in your area. They're available 24/7 and can help you to calm down and sort things out while you're going through what probably feels like a nervous breakdown. Most of us have been exactly where you are, and we've gotten to a better place by asking for help.
Whatever you do, there are usually people here who are eager to offer their support. If you're experiencing physical symptoms due to your drinking that concern you, consider getting yourself to the ER.
Bear in mind that you're not alone. Not anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 438
Mary you sound a lot like my nearly 7 years ago. Here is my post from back then, pretty similar to yours. Maybe it can help you out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-day-quit.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-day-quit.html
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by mary5alive 
I wish I could be as strong as you guys.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
The most difficult part of the entire process is getting past that first step. When we fail on our own we feel totally defeated. And we beat ourselves up time and time again.
Try what EndGame suggests. You obviously know what you must do. You are struggling with how to do it. There are things that we cannot just do on our own, like turning off a switch. That is why there are so many people here trying to do the same thing. It's a journey and usually almost 100% of the time, it is a journey we cannot endure by ourselves. So keep posting and asking for help. You have to really want it for it to stick.
Try what EndGame suggests. You obviously know what you must do. You are struggling with how to do it. There are things that we cannot just do on our own, like turning off a switch. That is why there are so many people here trying to do the same thing. It's a journey and usually almost 100% of the time, it is a journey we cannot endure by ourselves. So keep posting and asking for help. You have to really want it for it to stick.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I have a suggestions for you mary5alive. Change your avatar to something more encouraging. Every time you see it (my guess) it must remind you that you are stuck with no escape. It's pure psychology. Whenever I see it I think, "Mary5stuckinaboxwithnowayout" --- make it something positive. Thanks
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi mary - welcome back 
I think it boils down to what you're prepared to do?
You can up your participation here & join the Class of May support thread - committ to posting at least daily if not more.
You could see you Doctor or counsellor - be honest with them and see what they suggest.
(Based on what you've told us you're drinking, I think seeing your Dr is mandatory regardless of what else you might decide to try. It's best to be safe)
You could join a recovery group like AA or one of the many alternatives.
You could look into either inpatient or outpatient rehab.
Others may have other suggestions too - but do something Mary, soon....because you know you can't keep this up...right?
D
I think it boils down to what you're prepared to do?
You can up your participation here & join the Class of May support thread - committ to posting at least daily if not more.
You could see you Doctor or counsellor - be honest with them and see what they suggest.
(Based on what you've told us you're drinking, I think seeing your Dr is mandatory regardless of what else you might decide to try. It's best to be safe
)You could join a recovery group like AA or one of the many alternatives.
You could look into either inpatient or outpatient rehab.
Others may have other suggestions too - but do something Mary, soon....because you know you can't keep this up...right?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
And to address one part ,your body will begin to reject alcohol.
Normal drinkers don't like the taste of whiskey .
And people like us that overdo it ,our bodies will reject it .
In the ultimate of stupidity ,I have drank the first beer in an attempt to kill the hangover .
A room temp keystone Ice ( they are horrible cold ) puked it up and then drank another .
In talking to fellow drunks ,the rejection of alcohol during a bendor is common .
Normal drinkers don't like the taste of whiskey .
And people like us that overdo it ,our bodies will reject it .
In the ultimate of stupidity ,I have drank the first beer in an attempt to kill the hangover .
A room temp keystone Ice ( they are horrible cold ) puked it up and then drank another .
In talking to fellow drunks ,the rejection of alcohol during a bendor is common .
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I wish I could be as strong as you guys.
This is where everyones journey is different. here i am now almsot 3 years and I'm still not that super happy go lucky my life is just so wonder ful now type. But I'm much much more happy. and life is a lot better. maybe one day i'll be that guy with a plastered on smile who knows.
I think its important to focus on one step at a time at your stage in the game. try just one night off from drinking and leave it at that. You cant eat an elephant in one bite but you can do it 1 bite at a time.
When i started running there was one lady who would run this one hill by me i was always in awe how well she could do it. I hoped sooner or later i'd be able to do it. I kept trying and trying. Now she doesnt run through the winters and I do. I'm able to power up the hills and she cannot. My speed is much faster then hers and i can tell shes angry at me about this. Little does she know she inspired me so much.
Point is you just keep trying sooner or later it sticks. But its one step at a time one day at a time. make it easy on yourself make those bites 5 minute increments if you have too. but you can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
Originally Posted by zjw
I'm sure you are if not stronger. when I first sobered up it was hard for me to fathom being that guy whos been sober a while and is happy. I thought he has something I simply do not have. I hated that guy too. despised that happy go lucky i sobered up my lifes so friggen great now well SCREW HIM i'd think. I figured he was lieing or fooling himself.
This is where everyones journey is different. here i am now almsot 3 years and I'm still not that super happy go lucky my life is just so wonder ful now type. But I'm much much more happy. and life is a lot better. maybe one day i'll be that guy with a plastered on smile who knows.
I think its important to focus on one step at a time at your stage in the game. try just one night off from drinking and leave it at that. You cant eat an elephant in one bite but you can do it 1 bite at a time.
When i started running there was one lady who would run this one hill by me i was always in awe how well she could do it. I hoped sooner or later i'd be able to do it. I kept trying and trying. Now she doesnt run through the winters and I do. I'm able to power up the hills and she cannot. My speed is much faster then hers and i can tell shes angry at me about this. Little does she know she inspired me so much.
Point is you just keep trying sooner or later it sticks. But its one step at a time one day at a time. make it easy on yourself make those bites 5 minute increments if you have too. but you can do it.
This is where everyones journey is different. here i am now almsot 3 years and I'm still not that super happy go lucky my life is just so wonder ful now type. But I'm much much more happy. and life is a lot better. maybe one day i'll be that guy with a plastered on smile who knows.
I think its important to focus on one step at a time at your stage in the game. try just one night off from drinking and leave it at that. You cant eat an elephant in one bite but you can do it 1 bite at a time.
When i started running there was one lady who would run this one hill by me i was always in awe how well she could do it. I hoped sooner or later i'd be able to do it. I kept trying and trying. Now she doesnt run through the winters and I do. I'm able to power up the hills and she cannot. My speed is much faster then hers and i can tell shes angry at me about this. Little does she know she inspired me so much.
Point is you just keep trying sooner or later it sticks. But its one step at a time one day at a time. make it easy on yourself make those bites 5 minute increments if you have too. but you can do it.
You are as strong as us .
Just have to hit the jumping off point
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