dSober

Find a nearby meeting here and go ASAP:

Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information (U.S./Canada)

Get there a half hour early and talk to everyone you can. Tell them you're a newcomer and you need help.

thisisme

As much as I wanted to check out after my son died I held on knowing that drinking would only make things worse.

dSober

My wife died a couple years ago. She died partly from this disease but mostly from her other addiction, smoking. She was 52.

That didn't help my addictions one bit. Continued drinking did in fact make things worse. I was close to dying myself. In fact, I was already dead, inside. But renewed effort on part, and a series of unforeseeable events, at least unforeseeable to me at that point, led me to my sobriety now.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...where-god.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lps-those.html

I recently found, indirectly as a result of coming here, an article that describes our situation, and the remedy, better than any I've seen to date. Here it is:

A.A. Recovery - The Missing Piece: The Spiritual Malady

Hearts

It's not the same... but in some ways it is... A break up is like a mini-death. I'm staying sober through it because I remind myself CONSTANTLY of what withdrawals are like. Of laying on my couch, sweating, weak, and feeling guilty and remorseful about everything. Go ahead and picture sobering up and dealing with the very real grief at the same time. Not a nice picture, is it? Go ahead and cry. And then cry some more. And then cry some more and call some close friends/ family members. Crying doesn't numb you but it will make you feel better. And french fries. Those seem to help, too.

behindblueyes

HereIAm321
I relate most to your post. I drank thru her disease and I have not coped. So I am in denial.

I have not been on here in days. I want to make clear I DO NOT HAVE MY CHILD ON every Wed Thurs Fri. So the desire to drink alone is huge. I have NOT seen her since Monday. I was ok, honestly, until I walked into work today and lost it. I mean I really lost it. I cried in front of my boss.. my immediate supervisor and everyone.

You know how you think you're ok.... you're composed. Until someone sees it. They say "whats wrong???" Then the tears flow again. I couldn't even talk.

Its my fault. I asked my mom to read the obituary over the phone. I live in an area where they only put it online for people who pay and my mom pays for the daily paper. So she called me on the drive to work yesterday and there was no mention of my child. Just my alcoholic ex and his alcoholic brother.

I begged my mom to please go to the funeral Saturday but she wont. My (alcoholic) dad wont let her. He controls her every move. I will be there for my child. Alone. My exes new fiancée will be there but she walks away from me every time I talk to her. I cried so hard at work yesterday they almost sent me home. Thanks everyone for all your caring responses. You have no idea how much you all mean to me. I knew a second family member was sick but I was pushing it all down. Please, don't ever push it down. I did for my child and I exploded with so much anger and pain 4 days later I had to pull over on the side of the road. I thought I was having a heart attack.

Cry if you must. I faked happy for my child. My chaplain and a coworker at work said you must cry who cares what other people think. If my child sees me cry for 10 seconds and asks me why at least I can tell her the truth instead of opening a beer and hiding it. That is what my plan is from now on. No more buring feelings. People are meant to feel.