Jfanagle

I was single and sober at about the same time. Drinking removed wife #2 and AA removed the drinking. I used Match.com and met amazing ladies for coffee and then if it looked like both parties had some interest we dated. I spent the next 9 years very sober, with some wonderful ladies and 2 years ago married one. Dating sites abound and like most tools if used correctly they can be beneficial.

BTW, most the women I met were drinkers, not drunks just women who drank. I would find a way in the initial meeting to let them know I was a sober alcoholic but was not recruiting for AA and without exception that took away any awkward moments and there was seldom much discussion after that. At dinner they may have had wine or a drink and I didn't.

PS. Married one of my dates that drank wine and still does, not a problem unless you make it one.

Best of luck,

Jon

Hearts

The good thing about dating sites is that one of the questions right up there with "Do you have kids" is drinking habits. I recently broke up with my dude but one of the benefits of meeting him through a site was that he already saw that I marked that I don't drink and he didn't drink enough for that to bother him.

notdrunktoday

I'll try and give some advice but it's just more of the same. first it sounds like most of you are early in sobriety less than year. Work on yourself is the first priority and work on haveing solid non romantic friendships with opposite sex. Remember we're screwed up alcoholics that probably haven't had the healthiest relationships. second find groups and hobbies. I found AA meetings helped give me a social outlet. I also got involved with sober climbing club and tried indoor soccer and volunteering also with habitat for humanity. I didnt really love any of the people In these groups but did find individuals I didn't mind hanging out with once in a while it. it got me invited to other activities in which I met people. A little after year of sobriety and being involed with a few groups of people I got invited to party and met girl who now my fiancé. It sounds stupid but it worked.

2muchpain

I have a question about meetups.com I thought that would be a great way to meet people, but I've noticed that most of the meetups involve drinking at some point. Either drinking during the activity, such as going to a restaurant or out dancing, or after the meetups. How do you work through this? Thanks.

yeahgr8

I suggest you do some work on yourself and find out why you are struggling with being single before contemplating another relationship. I can totally relate with what you are going through before getting sober, since then I haven't enough time in the day. So glad I'm single:-)