grtgrandpa

Gunny, I was in the Corps from 1949 to 1952 and I drank alcoholically until age 54. I celebrated 28 years without alcohol today.

I did not count. I read the big book and I went to AA meetings and I said to myself, the alcohol is killing you so don't drink. I worked the steps. I got help. I wanted to stop.

I told my wife, "those alcoholics in AA are just like me". So I learned to listen and I listened to learn. I related to the people who spoke what I was thinking and I ignored the ones who turned me off and out. That worked for me.

It may not work for you. You need to find what works for you or you can keep drinking alcoholically and die young.

I would not have lived to age 82 if I had kept drinking. I was drawn to your thread via Dee74 celebrating 7 years today. Coincidence? I don't know.

We care Gunny.

bounced

After about 4 months I hard started to lose count anyway but I found that I was counting forward instead (ie another week and it will be 6 months). That seemed to be a big change in mentality for me.

GunnyL

If I'm lucky, 54's the magic number. Happens to be my age now.

Reading back over my posts even from just yesterday I figure I just need to breathe. Too much crap going on at once that I had no choice but deal with, and I charged in like a Marine and did it and didn't have any time for screw-ups. Now that I have a lull in the action, it's all catching up.

There are some resentments and some emotional pain from this last little escapade that need some house-cleaning, and I have to at least get back to functioning in a world I dropped out of 3 years back.

I also know that while I'm kind of charged up now, the meds they gave me in detox are not forgiving with me and the low will come.

Then I'll be whining again.

Thanks for the kind words.

Ratdog

Today is 10,842 days. But who's counting?

I counted days in the beginning. To me, it was important to be goal oriented. That doesn't work for everyone. Picking up chips was also important to me (and I collected a sack-full of "desire" chips in the beginning).

Today I just an happy to be sober and content.

I don't count today. I let the internet do it for me. I peek at it from time to time. Sometimes it's fun to just throw it out at a meeting. My next goal is 30 years and then 11,000 days.

There are several sobriety calculators on the web. I use the one at the aahistory website.

GunnyL

You mean I'm supposed to count chips too? I assume you mean the coins?

I see how this works. If I spend all my time counting chips and days I don't have time to drink ...

Dee74

There's also a sobertime counter here

SoberRecovery : Sober Time Sobriety Calculator

D

Ratdog

Nah. I never counted the chips (coins). I just collect them when they're due.

There's nothing that says you have to pick up a chip (coin) at any time. I carry mine around in my pocket, with my change, as a constant reminder to myself that I can't pick up that 1st drink.

I have actually had a mini panic attack when I pull out my change and my medallion isn't there! I'm not worried about taking a drink at this point, but I've become very attached to this way of life and that coin serves to remind me what a wonderful life it is today.

I'm proud of my length of sobriety (proud, not prideful) and the life it has afforded me. I should have been dead long ago.

GunnyL

I DO have the first one I got and I also carry it around. That one means something to me, as well as the group that gave it to me. They're the ones that put up with all my initial denial crap, pride, drunkenness at times, and they still were there to pick me up when I finally asked for some REAL help, and offered mme help when no one else would.

Yeah, I think I'll keep that one with me.

Ratdog

A good home group is important. Let them get to know you and you them. For me, that was hard because I'm a loner by nature. But the benefits of those relationships today are priceless. I've found a home and I've found my family!

soberbythesea

I'm counting years now -- it's going to be two in September. For me, knowing the time is important. I value knowing that I've been able to put together that long a streak with no slips, and it gives me motivation to keep going.

GunnyL

I'm still in touch with them. Unfortunately I doubt I will ever see any of them again. I no longer reside anywhere near them.

Too bad too. I was comfortable with them. Six old rednecks who taught me a lesson in selflessness that a million words could not have explained to me.

grtgrandpa

We are egomaniacs with inferiority complexes that were issued to us at birth.

When I look in the mirror, I know that I am the problem. God's will is humility.

I begged for help every day and by the grace of God(group of drunks if you like) I have not slipped.

We are everywhere so keep coming back.

GunnyL

Yeah. I started out the day with some skewed thinking that well, what would a pint hurt? I could practice all my sneaking and lying and everything.

Except I was a lousy sneak. Lousier liar. And it wouldn't be a pint.

Guess I'll have to find something responsible to do. At least not destructive.

grtgrandpa

Ira Hayes did not end well and Boyington did the next right thing. Pappy is my role model because he found sobriety.

Congrats GunnyL, our alcoholic brains are not our friends.

GunnyL

A lot of Marines don't end well. Nature of the beast. We're indestructible. Alcohol is cheap and legal and even encouraged as a "manly, Marine" thing to do.

And if you get out of hand, they just threaten you with disciplinary action and order you to quit. If you get too out of hand it's off to the in-house program at Balboa in SD. I've seen it work, but the stigma is on your record come promotion time.

Surprisingly, I didn't have an alcohol problem while I was in the Corps. I partied the first couple of years like everyone else, but then hardly drank the rest of my career.

I had to wait until afterward and let some female-types twist me up inside. At least I know the reason now.

grtgrandpa

You are singing to the choir gunny. A Man has got to be able to hold his liquor. You are not the first to be led astray by the ladies.

I did what you did when I was your age. I see it all now, but it took a lot of pain to get my attention. An executive friend retired at 55 and drank heavily like you. I was his sponsor. He got sober and died sober in AA. He and a lot of other good men were a part of my lifeboat. Go find some of us in San Antone Gunny. I know they are there cause I was drinking with them back in the mid 60s.

GunnyL

Led astray, huh? That's a nice way of putting "emotionally manipulated".

While I was thinking about the counting thing during my thankfully uneventful day, I realized I can figure out my sobriety dates for the past year because while I don't know what they are, I CAN pick out what days I was off the wagon.

It might be looking backward for a silver lining, but it's at least positive. Prior to Apr 13 I can tell you my drunk days from Jul 09 -- ALL of them. I've totaled 17 days in the past year. All at the most inopportune times and all doing more damage than the 4 previous years.

Yes, I slipped, and no, I'm not making excuses. I just don't see the point in beating myself up about it, and in fact, I can't afford to at this point.

I'm running out of people and things to lose, for one thing.

yeahgr8

It won't mean anything if you are counting days from a date that isn't your real sobriety date, I.e. The last day you ingested any alcohol at all willingly.

I counted days up to about 6 months sober and it can be quite motivating and reiterated in my head the distance between now and the last drink.

grtgrandpa

You said, I'm running out of people and things to lose, for one thing.

That is supposed to get your attention so you will find what action results in recovery for you. I found what works for me so I keep getting more people and things to be grateful for.

Slipping is giving up and you did not make gunny by being a quitter.

FBL

I counted the days early on. I found it to be very helpful. Seeing as how I could rarely string together a few days sober, it gave me a real sense of accomplishment. Now at nearly 5 years sober, I just count the years and they've been the BEST years of my adult life so far