endlesspatience

I was working a programme, seeing my counsellor. Going to meetings. Then on Saturday night I drank again and carried on drinking pretty much all day on Sunday. I didn't drink much on Monday just a few cans. Couldn't get any more down me.

Went to bed really really early on Monday. Got up about six today. My body was sort of saying thanks that I didn't abuse it any more and I got through the day at work without too many problems.

But I feel really disappointed in myself and kind of displaced. I think I drank because I wanted some company and for an hour or too it was nice, being with strangers and being sociable. Now I'm alone and I really considered having a couple after work.

But I made the decision not to do so. I'm back at my place, I've had some more water and I've decided to take an early night.

I know that lots of you must have had the feeling that you want to complain about something but in a way the only thing you can complain about is yourself.

Then you start with the self pity and it can be a very quick downward spiral from there into drinking again.

I just want to say I want to resist that downward spiral this time. I'm going to get an early night but I'll post back in the morning. I don't like the dark - I'm a morning sort of person. I want the new day to start.

doggonecarl

Maybe that's what you told yourself. That's not what happened. Never does. Alcohol does not deliver on its promises...ever. It's our job in recovery not to fall for the promise.

Hope you start the new day with the goal of recovery.

Raider

Great. Tomorrow is Day 1!

Looking4Help123

It promises a lot, never delivers even in the short term, and is actually out to ruin your life and kill you.

Wishing you the strength endlesspatience to find a way forward next time Endlesspatience.

oak

Stopping now will be so much easier than continuing to drink and trying to stop later. Just keep finding ways to stay sober one more day. It will get so much easier.

What other things can you do where you get to be with people and be sociable?

Dee74

Welcome back EP.

If you have things to complain about in yourself, whether it be loneliness or whatever, then the best thing to do is get to work and change those things

Drinking just ensures the status quo continues.

Drinking is the enemy of change and self imporovement.

Ruturn

One of the members of my group likes to say that she knows alcohol to be cunning, baffling, powerful and PATIENT. I know that if I don't take the action I need to it will always be there pulling on me again. I feel like I'm finally getting my life back from this terrible temptress that had stolen it from me, and I never want to lose it again. I can look back and see where every single time I relapsed I had stopped doing what I needed to be doing and the drinking quickly followed. Congratulations on making the decision to come back EP. Give yourself credit for doing that. I've been there many times myself and what drives me today is I don't ever want to have to be in that position again, and its finally important enough to me to be vigilently protective of my program and myself and take those actions every day.

Johno1967

Probably the most clarity I've read in a while. All it boils down to in the end. Drink or don't, those are the options.

Nonsensical

I should have this tattooed on my thumbs.

KateL

Good luck on day 1 xxxxxxx you can do it xxxxx

Looking4Help123

Let us know how you go EP