Anger /dry drunk / depression
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Anger /dry drunk / depression
I thought about this last night and tried to put into words how I got from "there " to here .
At any rate ,im not a writer ,so bear with my grammer and spelling .
Long ago ,I had anger problems ,as a child I had them . These were the result of a bad childhood and angry mother that raised me until 10 years old .
Fast forward to high school ,and I found drinking ,I drank quite a bit then .
I was always angry , so later on in my 20"s I developed anxiety attacks ,took meds ,still angry . Did not drink for 5-7 years .
Later on when I was about 30 I got a neighbor hired at work and we rode to work together ,He drank a little and I started back .
But the value of this fellow was he had anger problems and took Zoloft ,this was the start of my journey to sanity .
I took Zoloft for a couple years ,and while taking it ,I developed a different way of dealing with problems .
I got off the Zoloft ,and was doing good ,but started excessive drinking .
I then separated from my wife and really got to drinking and being mad ,went to anger mgt. and a therapist , read a book and started the healing process .
The secret to not letting anger rule your life is to ,act calm until it becomes the first reaction to an event .
I will admit ,I still take some deep breaths at times ,and still count to 10 a few times a week .
But with anger at a low level ,anxiety is also .
Hope this rambling is helpful to someone
At any rate ,im not a writer ,so bear with my grammer and spelling .
Long ago ,I had anger problems ,as a child I had them . These were the result of a bad childhood and angry mother that raised me until 10 years old .
Fast forward to high school ,and I found drinking ,I drank quite a bit then .
I was always angry , so later on in my 20"s I developed anxiety attacks ,took meds ,still angry . Did not drink for 5-7 years .
Later on when I was about 30 I got a neighbor hired at work and we rode to work together ,He drank a little and I started back .
But the value of this fellow was he had anger problems and took Zoloft ,this was the start of my journey to sanity .
I took Zoloft for a couple years ,and while taking it ,I developed a different way of dealing with problems .
I got off the Zoloft ,and was doing good ,but started excessive drinking .
I then separated from my wife and really got to drinking and being mad ,went to anger mgt. and a therapist , read a book and started the healing process .
The secret to not letting anger rule your life is to ,act calm until it becomes the first reaction to an event .
I will admit ,I still take some deep breaths at times ,and still count to 10 a few times a week .
But with anger at a low level ,anxiety is also .
Hope this rambling is helpful to someone
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by karate 
I thought about this last night and tried to put into words how I got from "there " to here .
At any rate ,im not a writer ,so bear with my grammer and spelling .
Long ago ,I had anger problems ,as a child I had them . These were the result of a bad childhood and angry mother that raised me until 10 years old .
Fast forward to high school ,and I found drinking ,I drank quite a bit then .
I was always angry , so later on in my 20"s I developed anxiety attacks ,took meds ,still angry . Did not drink for 5-7 years .
Later on when I was about 30 I got a neighbor hired at work and we rode to work together ,He drank a little and I started back .
But the value of this fellow was he had anger problems and took Zoloft ,this was the start of my journey to sanity .
I took Zoloft for a couple years ,and while taking it ,I developed a different way of dealing with problems .
I got off the Zoloft ,and was doing good ,but started excessive drinking .
I then separated from my wife and really got to drinking and being mad ,went to anger mgt. and a therapist , read a book and started the healing process .
The secret to not letting anger rule your life is to ,act calm until it becomes the first reaction to an event .
I will admit ,I still take some deep breaths at times ,and still count to 10 a few times a week .
But with anger at a low level ,anxiety is also .
Hope this rambling is helpful to someone
At any rate ,im not a writer ,so bear with my grammer and spelling .
Long ago ,I had anger problems ,as a child I had them . These were the result of a bad childhood and angry mother that raised me until 10 years old .
Fast forward to high school ,and I found drinking ,I drank quite a bit then .
I was always angry , so later on in my 20"s I developed anxiety attacks ,took meds ,still angry . Did not drink for 5-7 years .
Later on when I was about 30 I got a neighbor hired at work and we rode to work together ,He drank a little and I started back .
But the value of this fellow was he had anger problems and took Zoloft ,this was the start of my journey to sanity .
I took Zoloft for a couple years ,and while taking it ,I developed a different way of dealing with problems .
I got off the Zoloft ,and was doing good ,but started excessive drinking .
I then separated from my wife and really got to drinking and being mad ,went to anger mgt. and a therapist , read a book and started the healing process .
The secret to not letting anger rule your life is to ,act calm until it becomes the first reaction to an event .
I will admit ,I still take some deep breaths at times ,and still count to 10 a few times a week .
But with anger at a low level ,anxiety is also .
Hope this rambling is helpful to someone
Bravo man...I feel like this is the true you coming out vs all the bravado...hats off.
I had anger issues. Used to get toad rage something fierce. Usually when my ego was hurt. Used to has two modes, fight or flight. When I was younger and training in MMA, I would throw down in a bar at the drop of a hat. Then one night in ?Jillian's pool hall in Boston my buddy and I were leaving. I was sober shockingly and some kid bumped into my shoulder in the stairway. He wanted to go but I had a bad feeling for some reason. My buddy wanted to protect me and show me he had my back. So he started with the guy before I could do anything. Anyhow this kid had a knife and slit my friends throat and I did my best to hold his head together as he was bleeding out in my arms. Miraculously he lived as the corauded was not fully severed and we got him into the cop car not even the ambulance and there are tons of hospitals close in Boston.
I used to think I got my temper from my dad and I think I did. But it was not genetic. I just picked up his traits. I like what your doing Karate. Unknowingly by counting to ten you are practicing a meditation technique to let the urge pass. You are bypassing the primal part of your brain consciously, which is what recovery from anything is all about.
Kudos mans for being you Karate! Keep up the great work and thanks for this share.
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Originally Posted by jdooner
Bravo man...I feel like this is the true you coming out vs all the bravado...hats off.
I had anger issues. Used to get toad rage something fierce. Usually when my ego was hurt. Used to has two modes, fight or flight. When I was younger and training in MMA, I would throw down in a bar at the drop of a hat. Then one night in ?Jillian's pool hall in Boston my buddy and I were leaving. I was sober shockingly and some kid bumped into my shoulder in the stairway. He wanted to go but I had a bad feeling for some reason. My buddy wanted to protect me and show me he had my back. So he started with the guy before I could do anything. Anyhow this kid had a knife and slit my friends throat and I did my best to hold his head together as he was bleeding out in my arms. Miraculously he lived as the corauded was not fully severed and we got him into the cop car not even the ambulance and there are tons of hospitals close in Boston.
I used to think I got my temper from my dad and I think I did. But it was not genetic. I just picked up his traits. I like what your doing Karate. Unknowingly by counting to ten you are practicing a meditation technique to let the urge pass. You are bypassing the primal part of your brain consciously, which is what recovery from anything is all about.
Kudos mans for being you Karate! Keep up the great work and thanks for this share.
I had anger issues. Used to get toad rage something fierce. Usually when my ego was hurt. Used to has two modes, fight or flight. When I was younger and training in MMA, I would throw down in a bar at the drop of a hat. Then one night in ?Jillian's pool hall in Boston my buddy and I were leaving. I was sober shockingly and some kid bumped into my shoulder in the stairway. He wanted to go but I had a bad feeling for some reason. My buddy wanted to protect me and show me he had my back. So he started with the guy before I could do anything. Anyhow this kid had a knife and slit my friends throat and I did my best to hold his head together as he was bleeding out in my arms. Miraculously he lived as the corauded was not fully severed and we got him into the cop car not even the ambulance and there are tons of hospitals close in Boston.
I used to think I got my temper from my dad and I think I did. But it was not genetic. I just picked up his traits. I like what your doing Karate. Unknowingly by counting to ten you are practicing a meditation technique to let the urge pass. You are bypassing the primal part of your brain consciously, which is what recovery from anything is all about.
Kudos mans for being you Karate! Keep up the great work and thanks for this share.
Thanks ,its likely not described correctly .
I still get wound up at times .
Still an idiot drunk or not
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Karate...the fact that you are being mindful to count to ten is miles apart from the arrogant Karate that would post about being sober while taking shots. Your making progress man, serious progress. Good for you.
I doubt your an idiot. I think you just like me a little hard headed when it comes to adopting something new
Everyone gets wound up how we deal with it separates the men from the boys. Looks like your becoming a man with how you deal with things
I doubt your an idiot. I think you just like me a little hard headed when it comes to adopting something new
Everyone gets wound up how we deal with it separates the men from the boys. Looks like your becoming a man with how you deal with things
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Happy to see you are still sober and working through it Karate. I never had anger problems until I drank. It must damage that part of the brain. The episodes are few and brief now. Give yourself some time. You may have something else going on that once the alcohol damage is repaired is treatable by doctors. It is going to get a lot better for you Karate.
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I have a light case of bi-polar ,or a light case of mantic depression .
Either one of them I can manage ,now that I have learned what they are .
Im sure my different moods show through on my posts .
I tried the medication route to be "normal" ,whatever that is ,and found the side effects intolerable , most of the time I see the emotions and just ride them out .
I still fall off the wagon and drink , but these days it is not long lasting ,as I don't like the effects , as odd as this is .
My drinking now ,passes quick .
Either one of them I can manage ,now that I have learned what they are .
Im sure my different moods show through on my posts .
I tried the medication route to be "normal" ,whatever that is ,and found the side effects intolerable , most of the time I see the emotions and just ride them out .
I still fall off the wagon and drink , but these days it is not long lasting ,as I don't like the effects , as odd as this is .
My drinking now ,passes quick .
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Good to hear you're honest about having some drinks stopping having some drinks again. I can respect this kind of honesty. I did that for years myself, so I understand. I didn't call that being sober, and it looks like neither are you anymore, so that too I can respect.
How refreshing to hear you stand tall, and call it out just not only as you see it, but also as it really is in real life. Awesome.
I believe eventually you'll forever quit, Karate. That will be a wonderous accomplishment right up there with all the rest you got going on with yourself. Bravo!
How refreshing to hear you stand tall, and call it out just not only as you see it, but also as it really is in real life. Awesome.
I believe eventually you'll forever quit, Karate. That will be a wonderous accomplishment right up there with all the rest you got going on with yourself. Bravo!
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Nice post Karate, I see the progress in your thought process/outlook too, good work. I certainly relate to your topic too. Today is 112-days sober for me, I have been feeling pretty solid in my sobriety but lately I've fallen off pace working my development as I should be. I had a driving situation a couple days ago where a guy flipped me off, I didn't hurt anyone, but I grossly over reacted. I felt rage like every ounce of frustration since I quit drinking was gonna be leveled on this poor bastard that flipped me off. I'm taking that event as a good indicator of the anger that I'm still carrying around. I admit I've been stalling on that 4th step, it's hard to face. Time to get after it.
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NoJimmy - I read a book Mindfulness for Beginners that really helped. I get trigger easily, particularly with driving or when my ego is hit. I can't change the fury but I have learned how to deal with it. I see great parallels to my alcoholism and addictions. Can't change the thoughts but can now deal with them.
Congrats on 112 days - I remember your first post.
Congrats on 112 days - I remember your first post.
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It sounds like your drinking is wrecking your life plenty, or you wouldn't be here. The problem with alcoholics is that we don't care. I think once you get some sobriety, you will truly see just how much better your life is without alcohol.
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