hi All
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: leeds
Posts: 124
hi All
brief history - i am mike from Leeds England and I am an alcoholic
Have suffered with anxiety . panic for 20 years and have self medicated for that time
Its only since been made redundant in May last year that it escalated have done 3 home detox and one in December for 10 days
Fell off the wagon over xmas but today is day 1 - no more my liver has problems and I need to get my head clear to look for work properly
Bit nervous today as day 1 but i have a couple of diazepam to help ............
thanks for reading
Mike
Have suffered with anxiety . panic for 20 years and have self medicated for that time
Its only since been made redundant in May last year that it escalated have done 3 home detox and one in December for 10 days
Fell off the wagon over xmas but today is day 1 - no more my liver has problems and I need to get my head clear to look for work properly
Bit nervous today as day 1 but i have a couple of diazepam to help ............
thanks for reading
Mike
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi and welcome Mike - you'll find an incredible amount of support here 
Support really made the difference for me - it turned things around from a stop start thing to lasting sobriety.
Glad you found us
D
Support really made the difference for me - it turned things around from a stop start thing to lasting sobriety.
Glad you found us
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Hi Mike,
Welcome to the forum.
Gutsy effort to try to white knuckle it out alone.
One thing I have learned is that this is not something we can "brace it out ourselves".
If it were me I would tell my Doctor.
Taking Diazepam to control the anxiety and calm yourself is substituting.
A visit to the Doctor is warranted as a first step.
The second thing I learned is that recovery without honesty is doomed to fail.
You need to be 100% with your Doctor, both from a medical and psychological point of view. That is, the Doctor will ask you questions about your drinking habits and its effects on your day to day life and will undertake an exam and assessment around that. So rigorous honesty is crucial. Without disclosing your mental health issues the Doctor will not be able to refer you to further treatment.
You also need to be honest with yourself.
The third thing I learned is to seek information and inspiration. You will find both here on SR but you should also consider community based treatment modalities and support for alcoholism whatever is in your area. AA may also help and by going to a meeting you may not only get help and people who will listen but you will be helping them in their recovery.
Good luck mate and keep coming back.
John
Welcome to the forum.
Gutsy effort to try to white knuckle it out alone.
One thing I have learned is that this is not something we can "brace it out ourselves".
If it were me I would tell my Doctor.
Taking Diazepam to control the anxiety and calm yourself is substituting.
A visit to the Doctor is warranted as a first step.
The second thing I learned is that recovery without honesty is doomed to fail.
You need to be 100% with your Doctor, both from a medical and psychological point of view. That is, the Doctor will ask you questions about your drinking habits and its effects on your day to day life and will undertake an exam and assessment around that. So rigorous honesty is crucial. Without disclosing your mental health issues the Doctor will not be able to refer you to further treatment.
You also need to be honest with yourself.
The third thing I learned is to seek information and inspiration. You will find both here on SR but you should also consider community based treatment modalities and support for alcoholism whatever is in your area. AA may also help and by going to a meeting you may not only get help and people who will listen but you will be helping them in their recovery.
Good luck mate and keep coming back.
John
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 13
Hi Mike. I've been a high level, usually daily alcohol drinker since 1982. I've been sober several times for 2 pregnancies, a 10 month stretch after inpatient recovery treatment, and most of last year. But like you, relapsed at Christmas. Was drinking 2 1/2 liters of Chardonnay a day and was totally dysfunctional till 4 days ago.
I needed medical detox and didn't go after stopping alcohol intake 4 days ago. This morning, after 3 days of insomnia and about 6 hours of fitful sleep, I had a tachycardia attack that lasted for a frightening 5 minutes.
I've been to the ER for tachycardia where they had to inject me with stuff to stop and start my heart again. That last ER visit about a year ago, my blood alcohol level was .576 I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow morning. It is the appointment I SHOULD have made to go to 2 days ago. In my head, I thought I shouldn't tell my doctor I had relapsed - and quite badly - for the past 6 weeks. Shame kept me from doing what I knew I SHOULD have done.
So - you are doing the right thing by quitting drinking. It only gets worse. It only gets longer. It only gets lower. In my case, I have a chance to get it and get it right instead of repeating what I know doesn't work. BUT I'm also 100% straight with my doctor. He's seen my relapses and he's also seen my determination over the past 2 years. I'm determined to be a victor in my battle - not a victim.
I hope you will sincerely consider seeing your doctor and letting him / her know what is going on right now. They "usually" are compassionate and won't judge. They know what you are going through physically - and they can help. They WILL help. You just have to be willing to take the help offered and do great things with it.
Hoping the best for you and your recovery in all aspects.
I needed medical detox and didn't go after stopping alcohol intake 4 days ago. This morning, after 3 days of insomnia and about 6 hours of fitful sleep, I had a tachycardia attack that lasted for a frightening 5 minutes.
I've been to the ER for tachycardia where they had to inject me with stuff to stop and start my heart again. That last ER visit about a year ago, my blood alcohol level was .576 I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow morning. It is the appointment I SHOULD have made to go to 2 days ago. In my head, I thought I shouldn't tell my doctor I had relapsed - and quite badly - for the past 6 weeks. Shame kept me from doing what I knew I SHOULD have done.
So - you are doing the right thing by quitting drinking. It only gets worse. It only gets longer. It only gets lower. In my case, I have a chance to get it and get it right instead of repeating what I know doesn't work. BUT I'm also 100% straight with my doctor. He's seen my relapses and he's also seen my determination over the past 2 years. I'm determined to be a victor in my battle - not a victim.
I hope you will sincerely consider seeing your doctor and letting him / her know what is going on right now. They "usually" are compassionate and won't judge. They know what you are going through physically - and they can help. They WILL help. You just have to be willing to take the help offered and do great things with it.
Hoping the best for you and your recovery in all aspects.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: leeds
Posts: 124
thanks guys for your replies - it means a lot
My GP only works Monday Thursday and Friday so have organised a call back tomorrow
on 36 hours now - ate last night and slept fairly well
Woke up with anxiety / palpitations and a bit sweaty but no hallucinations etc etc and waking up anxious is common place for me sober or not
I will be honest with my GP am just scared they will strike me off as been here SO many times
Mike
My GP only works Monday Thursday and Friday so have organised a call back tomorrow
on 36 hours now - ate last night and slept fairly well
Woke up with anxiety / palpitations and a bit sweaty but no hallucinations etc etc and waking up anxious is common place for me sober or not
I will be honest with my GP am just scared they will strike me off as been here SO many times
Mike
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Dublin
Posts: 18
Hi Mike,
Well done on your sobriety, your nearly at the 2 day mark now.
Your doctor might give you something to help with the withdrawal, but if you want to be successful long term you probably already know you're gonna have to do something to overcome the anxiety. Also prescribed meds can be bad for your liver as well.
If you can find a way to relieve your anxiety, then you learn a way to control your alcohol.
Best of luck.
Well done on your sobriety, your nearly at the 2 day mark now.
Your doctor might give you something to help with the withdrawal, but if you want to be successful long term you probably already know you're gonna have to do something to overcome the anxiety. Also prescribed meds can be bad for your liver as well.
If you can find a way to relieve your anxiety, then you learn a way to control your alcohol.
Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 13
Just wanted to report back to you - the DR. appointment went well. He did not react to my relapse except to encourage more activity toward AA or other constructives. He took vitals, checked blood, and provided me with support to get through the detox phase. I hope you have the same experience and support. Stay with it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 12
well done!! Before I stopped drinking my last doctors visit was as a child, these past few months I've been more than I've ever been in my life though I did quit cold turkey, if I could go back in time i would still be drinking now all be it tapering.
I'm not gonna lie your probably in for hell these next few months, my first few days were bliss I thought to my self...wow how easy...and then boom gotcha!, I never thought anxiety could be some god dam powerful!, I even drank a beer in the early weeks to try to get rid of the anxiety, and it just made it worse.
3 months in I'm starting to level out, sleeping is getting a little easier. The anxiety disorder is my problem now not the alcohol! but if you can beat one you can beat the other eh? I'm on my way, although I'm not there yet, I'm happy I'm on the journey
Take every bit of help you are offered! Even if you really don't want to. If it was at all possible I'd give you a right good pat on the back!
though I did quit cold turkey, if I could go back in time i would still be drinking now all be it tapering.I'm not gonna lie your probably in for hell these next few months, my first few days were bliss I thought to my self...wow how easy...and then boom gotcha!, I never thought anxiety could be some god dam powerful!, I even drank a beer in the early weeks to try to get rid of the anxiety, and it just made it worse.
3 months in I'm starting to level out, sleeping is getting a little easier. The anxiety disorder is my problem now not the alcohol! but if you can beat one you can beat the other eh? I'm on my way, although I'm not there yet, I'm happy I'm on the journey
Take every bit of help you are offered! Even if you really don't want to. If it was at all possible I'd give you a right good pat on the back!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Not sure what home detox is, perhaps its just detoxing on your own at home rather then a spin dry at a medical facility, or it might be a doctor at your house, who knows, its a British thing I guess. Well the good news is you put down the bottle, now its time to get to work on your sobriety. Work and more work. Action and more action. Without it, we end up sucking on a bottle again like a little baby does with its milk.
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