quitter13

Although I work in a office, they are not shy about drinking around here. I would say there is an average of one event per month on company property, during business hours with alcohol. Tomorrow we are having a department happy hour. Basically my boss let's us stop working and drink and socialize for the last hour of the day. First event like this since I quit. I'm definitely not going to be drinking but it does make me anxious. Nobody will force me to drink but it's expect that you will hang out and socialize even if you are not drinking. It's only an hour of my day and I'll get through it fine but obviously I'm already thinking about it. That's the obsessive mind working

Hope4Life

Don't you have enough work to just keep yourself busy? I cannot see how he could complain if you just continue working.....

Your sobriety has to be #1 and that is the type of situation that could derail your efforts to stay sober.

Good Luck!

KateL

I'm sure you will be fine, if it bothers you too much, can't you ask to go home?

Dee74

Personally I would be out of there. I have no business being at things like that.

Often I found that 'my boss expectations' were really my expectations of his expectations?

D

JustODAAT

I just wanted to say I understand why this is so hard. Early in my sobriety it was even harder. It really irritates me to be in situations where the activity is drinking (or for me) talking to other people who are drinking.

To be honest: I would enlist a friend to text me at a particular time (maybe 15 minutes into this event), so I could say my friend locked herself out of her house (or something else) and I need to leave, so sorry, have a good weekend all, and quick exit. My kids have been "sick" on more than one occasion for this purpose.

karate

Drank sprite at company Christmas party ,no one asked a question .

Don't make it a bigger deal than it is .

Nevertheless

That's a tuff situation in early sobriety no matter how you look at it.
I would figure out a way to stay busy,or leave. Either way the "co workers" are going to wonder whats going on. The last place I worked,that happened a lot of Friday afternoons. But I had been sober a few years,and I want no part of that sort of thing anymore. And of course I had never drank with any of them. I just kept working and told anyone that offered me a beer I don't drink anymore. I also wasn't the only "tea totaler" there.
I might be inclined to come clean with the boss,and say I want to leave early. Of course I don't know your boss from Adam. All I can say is don,t drink because Saturday morning you WILL be kicking yourself in the butt.

Fred

Ethos23

Just leave. I don't know how big the department is, but mill around for a few then leave. Not worth jeopardizing your sobriety. You are going to feel resentful of the people standing around drinking. You won't drink there, but you may relapse after. At least that has been my pattern with situations like that. I will not drink at the event, but the resentment gets to me and I drink on my own some days after.

Protect your sobriety.

quitter13

I definitely won't be drinking or explaing myself to anyone. I'm not free to go home if I don't participate because technicaly I'm on the clock. The event is in our lounge area which is right outside my cubicle. I will probably hang for the pep talk my boss always gives to kick off these events and then I'll dissappear to another part of the building. I really feel no pressure to drink and wont. Probably making a bigger deal about it than it is

reflection

I don't think you're making a big deal out of it at all...I think you're being thoughtful about a new and potentially scary situation, one that challenges your sobriety and you wanted to get some support and insight into how to best deal with it. I've found SR to be the perfect place for that.

Sounds to me like you've got a plan in place, that's helped me in similar situations. Good luck!

Mountainmanbob

No big deal be prepared to take a little walk outside for a while none of the drinking ones will even miss you

MaxxPower

Yep. It happens.

Had to go through this last week.

I put up with it for around 20 minutes, and then left.

Not going to lie, it was pretty annoying.

Had a co-worker talking with me the entire time while drinking a cold beer. I still have no idea what the hell we talked about! Was just nodding my head and agreeing with him. Was overwhelmed with emotions..

Its actually pretty funny thinking back on it

You'll do fine..

Know that your not alone on this...

Dime

Never a need for excuses in a situation like this. I worked for a company many years ago and it wasn't real cute when an underage kid who knew nothing about alcohol got blasted and had a nasty wreck on the way home.

I just tell people firmly "no thanks, Coke would be great though". Or simply say I'm "driving". Be direct, they'll get it.

erics

Plan some excuses ( you're taking medication)

Keep a glass of coke with a lime in it in your hand. Keep something in a cup in your hand.

Fake a call from someone.

Robertstone

Oddly, almost any event that adults participate in has to have a drug that turns them into babbling children. I just felt like I had to get used to being one of the few at these events that was really being himself. We, who have woken up from this drug afflicted world, have to accept the fact that others still buy into it, and that we can be there in the midst of it and not be a part of it.

I guess I'm just saying, get used to having to face events where people are drinking and I think hiding from it is not really beneficial. If anyone asks you why you aren't drinking, just tell them you don't like the stuff. And honestly, let's be real.... people dont really care if you are drinking or not because they are too worried about caring and thinking about themselves. They might ask you, but believe me, it doesnt really matter to them. But don't be there empty handed, have a soda or something with you. No biggie! You can do it!

LadyBlue0527

quitter13 I hope that you read this before that hour at the end of the day today. I've done this a few times and it's helped immensely.

We are all with you. I have posted on here twice when I knew I was heading into dangerous territory and visualized everyone on this board as being there and present with me. In a sense they were, in my Iphone tucked neatly in my pocket. All that I had to do was to think about all the supportive people on this board who were with me and rooting for me and it worked.

Just throwing that out there at ya

quitter13

Thanks for all the advice. I feel completely prepared. I'm only 6 weeks in but I truly don't want to drink. I think that is the important part. The first time I quit I lasted 6 months but I never truly felt like I was done. This time I do envision a life without drinking ever again.

quitter13

Well, I made it through the work event with no problem. The stress at home tonight is actually much more of a challenge. But I have been dealing with stress in my marriage and home life nearly daily since I quit. I have had some days with hours of continuous fighting and stress and haven't picked up yet and I won't. And it is actually starting to get better. Maybe 2-3 bad days at home per week now instead of 7. Hopefully that will work it's way down to 0 bad days soon to match my 0 days of drinking per week

1newcreation

Since its your work place, just hang around long enuf that folks in you're dept can @ least say they saw you there then leave. Sprite/coke in hand should be good. If questioned, say you're not drinking today & that should kill the conversation rite there