Brian316

Hey everyone, my name is Brian I'm an alcoholic. I've talked about my current living situation here before, so at the risk of sounding like a redundant whiner I will be brief.
I'm 86 days sober, I have no car, my wife moved away and our old house is being foreclosed on. I can't live there due to my having a job in the city and the house being rural. So I am staying with my parents to work, and save money for an apartment and forthcoming legal proceedings. I am actually posting this here to try and get away from self-pity and resentment.
Tonight after spending the day between AA, homework and trying to help around their house, my step-father (who incidentally is an every day whiskey and beer drinker) lashes out at me for no reason other than not filing my papers like he does and taking my last 2 classes needed for a college degree without obtaining his permission. I mean verbally demeaning, cursing, yelling etc. and this is not the first time. By the way I am 35 years old.
I wasn't sure how to feel at first. But now it's resentment and a little self pity because no matter how I respond to him the answer is going to be wrong. A lot of people (friends and family) actually have correlated my alcohol problem to him. Not that that's relevant, I take full responsibility for my alcoholism, just saying it's not a healthy situation for anyone and I could use some advice on how to deal with it and not let this resentment fester or slip into self pity......or worse justifying a drink saying he pushed me over the edge while I was "trying to do good".

Sanantoniosober

No one can make you drink but you. Don't let the guy drive you over the deep end. If people don't like you, the best revenge is to live and live well. Good luck.

soberhawk

Why do you need his permission? I do not understand.

Congrats on the 86 days, do not let him throw you of course.

kcvalentine

Sounds like life's way of testing your resolve. I know it's hard but try to bide your time, always moving forward toward your goal. Don't give up! It won't last forever and it sounds like you are close to a breakthrough. We're all here believing in you and cheering you on! xoxo

Brian316

Thank you KC. Well I am 87 days sober (close to 90 and the only times I have done that before were court ordered and I drank right after) and I am preparing to work Step 4 of the AA 12 step recovery program with a sponsor. I think I am definitely being tested but looking back now, even tho I acted a little teenage like at the time, I let go of the resentment and continue to pray for peace for my step-father.

KissMyTiara

My advice would be to calmly talk to him. If he is not accepting then you gotta suck it up. You are a 35 yo man that has moved back home. It's his house, not yours. He may not want you there necessarily. When adults move in and live in someone elses home without financial responsibilites, you do what you have to do. If you can find somewhere else to live that would be best. Doesn't seem to be that way. What does your Mom say?

karate

Life will test your resolve , it tested all of us. .

Now that we deal with it un -numb

Brian316

I have talked to him. I know he doesn't want me there but both parents say they don't want me to leave until I have more money and sober time. Our timeline is roughly 2 months from now. However, as I explained to them yesterday, another of those episodes and I am gone. The fact is it is a threat to my sobriety. My mom tends to stay out of it, he can be ugly with her also. She told him last night he was out of control. I'm afraid the poor man is going to have a heart attack! He's pretty tightly wound.