malcolmsloan

Hi, I usually post in the newcomers forum as I am only on my 7th week (as of this wed). I have been thinking a lot about this topic as related to sobriety and have not wanted to present it in the newcomers forum our of fear of sounding discouraging to someone just starting out. Topic: sobriety as hard work.

For me, living sober is an entire shift of consciousness, of perception of myself, family, work, and the world around me. I am rebuilding from the ground up. I have to work every day at it. However, I was not able to do this until I embraced the challenge, until I, in a sense, got tough and decided to do the hard work, to grind, to step up and say, "enough, let's get to frickin' work, and stay at work." I could not be doing this without this mentality. I had to get a little pissed, and I have to maintain a bit of an edge.

In short (and I've said this a few times over the last few weeks), I had to reach the point where I said, "I don't care if the four horsemen of the appocolypse are charging up my driveway, I'm NOT drinking, end of story."

But I had to find this resolution, had to make the conscious decision. No ambiguity. No, "I wonder if. . ." thinking. No, "I'm might. . ." thinking. No more "maybe," and no more "perhaps." No more "should."

So anyway, I just needed to express that for me sobriety is damn hard work, but I love it and I want more.

Thanks for listening/reading
Onward!

Oldselfagain

It is hard work! For me nothing short of complete commitment is required to be successful. Great post Malcolm.

Nevertheless

Just my opinion,but I think newcomers NEED to know it's "hard work".
A lot of people start out with the attitude..... I 'm quitting,but this "event" is coming up,there will be booze there. But I have to attend...... In my opinion "have to" means they are willing to put there self in a very high risk situation. In other words the event might be more important than staying sober.
To me it's like someone saying." I just had a triple bypass,but I was scheduled to run a marathon next week. I have to run it" They are willing to take the risk.
The first 90 days,we can be drunk before we know what happened. I pulled into a liquor store,opened the car door,but didn't get out, at 6 months sober.(that was a real close one). But that was my last really tough craving.
I myself made a lot of sacrifices. I did whatever I thought it would take to make it. I still had a lot of close calls. It was a complete change of life. Just like losing a loved one.
After the first year,for me it has been pretty easy though.
But I couldn't agree more. My first year was VERY hard work.

Fred

karate

Sure beats feeling bad , and when I drink I feel bad

totfit

No matter what sobriety is not near as hard a work as drinking and trying to maintain a somewhat normal life for someone like me. I am not even going to pretend it is killing me trying to stay sober. It was killing me trying to live a life and drink. Heck I don't have to do anything to stay sober. Drinking I had to make sure I had money to get it, buy it drink it and still try and function so that I could work, so that I could keep getting more. All the while I had to pay lawyer fees, divorce, court fees, insurance, detox, etc. Now that was hard work. Heck, I guess I am a whimp. I want an easy sober life instead.

soberhawk

Life is not always easy but I do though feel that after 5 months sober I am a lot more healthy and up to the challenge than I was when I was drinking.

There was a lot of escapism when I was drinking, but it was not less hard.

I think it is a good saying “I'm NOT drinking, end of story." - I stole the sentence “Drinking is not an option” from the substance abuse section – It is good to have a slogan when life is a …... .

MaxxPower

This early sobriety thing is mind blowing.

I feels like I should get paid for this sometimes! wouldn't make it any easier though.

Its sounds like after one year - thing start to even out.

sure hope so..

veryready

Good work malcolmsloan. I understand you not wanting to sound discouraging. Good of you to contemplate that as it could be taken that way. But, I agree. It is hard work. Often people post for the first time and the post is 'help me' or something like that. I don't, but I want to reply that at some point the help they need has to come from within. We/nobody can help them until they do the 'hard work'. Sounds like you got that figured out. well done and keep up the good work. FYI - 9 degrees here and heading out for a run. Not hard work at all compared to staying sober , but worth it 100%.

gaffo

The hard work pays off. It's important to enjoy the rewards. Even in the early days, I would realize how great it was not to be dealing with life as a drunk. The smell of the morning air and a good cup of coffee beat the heck out of dread and a hangover.

losteverything

Thanks for your post. For me, drinking was way more work. Always worrying whether I had enough, hiding the drinking, sneaking drinks, going to different stores because I already was at one during the day.. Thinking about road blocks, or driving impaired. Then there was the expenses of it, doing things that i wouldn't do sober, buying things i wouldn't normally buy... add on the dread of not remembering what I did while drunk, .. add on the detox with night sweats, shaking hands... I dont know, it really was hard work being an active alcohollic.. glad you posted this.

malcolmsloan

Good points, Totfit and Losteverything, very good points. Thanks for adding that.
And hey, Veryready, way to get out there and get your exercise in! Where I live it's about 65 right now.