Drank while pregnant... full of remorse.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Forest Hills, NY
Posts: 83
I'm very very glad you're finding peace and clarity!
I was also very judge-y and gossipy when I was out there. Now I see the people I judged so quickly and harshly are battling their own demons.
I wish you a continued blessed recovery!
I was also very judge-y and gossipy when I was out there. Now I see the people I judged so quickly and harshly are battling their own demons.
I wish you a continued blessed recovery!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Lulu your courage is immense! There is a stigma attached to drunk Moms that us drunk Dads don't get as bad but I know different. As primary caregiver to 3 girls I am all too aware of the pull of the drink when I knew it was dead wrong. Kudos to coming clean!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thank you so much for coming back to
share with us about your experiences
and strengths within your lifes struggles
and challenges. In doing so, it will give
other hope that they too can make some
changes in their own life and use a program
of recovery to guide them into achieving
a healthier, happier way of life for many
one days at a time to come.
Please feel free to share about your little
buddle of joy with us and how you enjoy
motherhood in recovery.
There are so many gifts in recovery for
us to enjoy and be grateful for and the
love, care and guidance from Above will
strengthen you all along the way.
share with us about your experiences
and strengths within your lifes struggles
and challenges. In doing so, it will give
other hope that they too can make some
changes in their own life and use a program
of recovery to guide them into achieving
a healthier, happier way of life for many
one days at a time to come.
Please feel free to share about your little
buddle of joy with us and how you enjoy
motherhood in recovery.
There are so many gifts in recovery for
us to enjoy and be grateful for and the
love, care and guidance from Above will
strengthen you all along the way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
Lulupalooza, you are not alone, I was right where you are at. When I got to AA I thought I would be harshly judged, like I was judging myself.
My sponsor gave me the same suggestions that your sponsor did and one more....... to make sure that I got my then infant tested.
I did, he tested really good physically, mentally and hit all his mile stones and more..... and today, my son is going for his PhD in Computer Science
What was suggested to me at that time was to ask myself if I would do that NOW, TODAY.....and the answer was of course NO, I wouldn't, because I was sober. This disease calls all the shots when we are in active Alcoholism.
There were several AA women who came up to me and made sure that I knew that I was not alone, and that I wasn't a bad person trying to get good, that I was a sick person trying to get well..... and if God had forgiven me, then who was I to not forgive myself?
And you know, it was shared with me that whatever I had done, I would find that I could use that experience someday to help someone. So thank you Lulupalooza for helping me to share with you my own experience, strength and hope........and someday, you will reach out to a woman and help her with your experience, strength and hope.
Stay out of the past, stay out of the future....and Stay IN Today, stop beating yourself up and just be the best Mom that you can be....and remember, you are a women of honor and dignity....Today!
My sponsor gave me the same suggestions that your sponsor did and one more....... to make sure that I got my then infant tested.
I did, he tested really good physically, mentally and hit all his mile stones and more..... and today, my son is going for his PhD in Computer Science
What was suggested to me at that time was to ask myself if I would do that NOW, TODAY.....and the answer was of course NO, I wouldn't, because I was sober. This disease calls all the shots when we are in active Alcoholism.
There were several AA women who came up to me and made sure that I knew that I was not alone, and that I wasn't a bad person trying to get good, that I was a sick person trying to get well..... and if God had forgiven me, then who was I to not forgive myself?
And you know, it was shared with me that whatever I had done, I would find that I could use that experience someday to help someone. So thank you Lulupalooza for helping me to share with you my own experience, strength and hope........and someday, you will reach out to a woman and help her with your experience, strength and hope.
Stay out of the past, stay out of the future....and Stay IN Today, stop beating yourself up and just be the best Mom that you can be....and remember, you are a women of honor and dignity....Today!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Thank you all so much for the kind words! I so appreciate your encouragement. That's why sober recovery is such an amazing place! I will do everything I can to remain sober for my baby, and myself. This journey has been one of the most difficult and most rewarding journeys I have ever been on! I hope that maybe, just MAYBE, one of my posts will help someone some day. That would make me so immensely happy.
Thank you Patriciae for sharing that with me. That gives me so much comfort to hear about the success of your son. You must be so proud!
Thank you Patriciae for sharing that with me. That gives me so much comfort to hear about the success of your son. You must be so proud!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 550
Hi Lulupalooza, thanks for sharing this. I on the other hand didn't drink when I was pregnant. I thought motherhood would fill that missing link. But my addiction came back. Skip forward to today, my child is now and adult and has an addiction problem as well. They have watched me decade after decade laying drunk and passing out each night. I taught them all the wrong things and now here we are. The reality of what happens when you don't try (and don't realize you aren't trying till it's too late). But what I wanted to say is please take what you have learned and teach them to not repeat history. We all make mistakes. Going forward you have priceless words of wisdom to give to your child. Don't forget that.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
As I grew up my mother shared with me I was conceived on New Years eve>>> Maybe something I really did need to know, but there it is!
Raised by high bottom Alcoholics - Dad got sober, mom never did. Four kids total and other than alcoholism in 2 of us things turned out fine! I guess that's kind of like asking Mrs. O'Leary - so other than the losing your barn, how was the bbq?
I HIGHLY COMMEND YOU FOR BEARING YOUR SOUL ON HERE! Truly amazing that you take such strong ownership - to me, that is an incredible sign of God's grace.
Children are a blessing from God. He does this in spite of us sometimes - for His purposes.
A line in Saving private Ryan popped into my head while posting this. As Tom Hanks lay dying on the bridge he says to Ryan - Earn This!
Good advice for me today and perhaps others!!!!
Your honesty will help get you through step 4 - man, I am working on it and have discovered fears from long, long ago that have lead me to where I am. Very enlightening.
Good luck to you and your family! Glad your here, proud of ya!
Raised by high bottom Alcoholics - Dad got sober, mom never did. Four kids total and other than alcoholism in 2 of us things turned out fine! I guess that's kind of like asking Mrs. O'Leary - so other than the losing your barn, how was the bbq?
I HIGHLY COMMEND YOU FOR BEARING YOUR SOUL ON HERE! Truly amazing that you take such strong ownership - to me, that is an incredible sign of God's grace.
Children are a blessing from God. He does this in spite of us sometimes - for His purposes.
A line in Saving private Ryan popped into my head while posting this. As Tom Hanks lay dying on the bridge he says to Ryan - Earn This!
Good advice for me today and perhaps others!!!!
Your honesty will help get you through step 4 - man, I am working on it and have discovered fears from long, long ago that have lead me to where I am. Very enlightening.
Good luck to you and your family! Glad your here, proud of ya!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Waterfalls2014 
Hi Lulupalooza, thanks for sharing this. I on the other hand didn't drink when I was pregnant. I thought motherhood would fill that missing link. But my addiction came back. Skip forward to today, my child is now and adult and has an addiction problem as well. They have watched me decade after decade laying drunk and passing out each night. I taught them all the wrong things and now here we are. The reality of what happens when you don't try (and don't realize you aren't trying till it's too late). But what I wanted to say is please take what you have learned and teach them to not repeat history. We all make mistakes. Going forward you have priceless words of wisdom to give to your child. Don't forget that.
Love yourself and forgive yourself - God does and already has!!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Lulupalooza
Thank you all so much for the kind words! I so appreciate your encouragement. That's why sober recovery is such an amazing place! I will do everything I can to remain sober for my baby, and myself. This journey has been one of the most difficult and most rewarding journeys I have ever been on! I hope that maybe, just MAYBE, one of my posts will help someone some day. That would make me so immensely happy.
Thank you Patriciae for sharing that with me. That gives me so much comfort to hear about the success of your son. You must be so proud!
Thank you Patriciae for sharing that with me. That gives me so much comfort to hear about the success of your son. You must be so proud!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Originally Posted by Flynbuy
Waterfalls - I was taught something early on that helped me daily through guilt and remorse. Simply, each day we are sober is making living amends to ourselves and family. A car has rear view mirror, but we don't use it when we are driving forward!
Love yourself and forgive yourself - God does and already has!!
Love yourself and forgive yourself - God does and already has!!
Thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you like my signature, you're the first person to say anything about it! It's true, I am a pickle, and I'll never be a cucumber. Oh well! lol
PS I dig the Bill Murray avatar!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Originally Posted by Lulupalooza
I judged myself, and I condemned myself. Some others judged me too, and anything they said I accepted. My mind was open to harsh judgement. I was a victim and I deserved to be punished. This evil system I set up caused me so much inward grief.
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