really struggling right now
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
really struggling right now
This is around the time that I relapsed last year. I reached that time again and it is so hard for me right now. The first 6 months the obsession was removed. I pray for the obsession to be removed and it hasn't yet. I still romanticize drinking and I don't know how this is going to change. I also went on my first 12 step call with my sponsor and that was really eye opening for me and strengthened my sobriety but I am still struggling. I have a lot of normal friends and when they talk about having a couple of beers it makes me feel left out. I don't make friends easily in the program I have tried real hard. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and don't like myself and just want to kill that pain with alcohol. Will this get any better? I am 8 months sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Anoronha 
Will this get any better?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Eight months is awesome. Just because you relapsed this time last year doesn't make it so. That's negative thinking, and you know what that does to your recovery. This is now!
And accept that you can't ever drink again and move on to a fulfilling life, alcohol free.
And accept that you can't ever drink again and move on to a fulfilling life, alcohol free.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I can't relate to still feeling that mental obsession after getting through the Steps. For me, that went away very noticeably and has never returned. But whenever I feel in a funk or spiritually disconnected, I always take a good look at how I'm getting on with the program, and tend to double down with extra commitment to prayer/meditation. One helpful practice I adopted was writing out that 10th Step every night. Not a big deal, just stepped through the 9 or so questions in the BB. What this does for me is helps to identify the areas of my life where I'm still running the show and driven by fear. It helps to identify unmade amends. Over and over in the BB, it reminds us that intensive work with other alcoholics will be effective in those trying times.
And, sometimes the spiritual connection is just more dormant than other times. No big deal either.
And, sometimes the spiritual connection is just more dormant than other times. No big deal either.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
8 Months is great. Praying never removed the obsession for me. Sometimes the praying made it seem like dwelling and made it worse. I finally just moved on and found other things to do. Exercise and a good diet along with finding a purpose is what removed the obsession for me. Find another healthy obsession. I today don't work so hard not to do something and work hard to find healthy things to do for myself and importantly others.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 79
Awesome, 8 months, congrats
. I'm almost 17 months and was feeling pretty much the same. You should read my old posts!! Things get so much better, it's a time thing I think. After 15 months I moved outta my parents house into a nice house and things are great. The gym worked for me early days and I basically did nothing socially, I couldn't...
. I'm almost 17 months and was feeling pretty much the same. You should read my old posts!! Things get so much better, it's a time thing I think. After 15 months I moved outta my parents house into a nice house and things are great. The gym worked for me early days and I basically did nothing socially, I couldn't...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
sure it will get better!! this is how:
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
trudge the road of happy destiny....tells me it aint always easy, but trudging will get me through whatever I have to get through.
or...you could try to kill the pain with alcohol.however, im sure if ya take some time to look at yer past, you will see it really wasn't the easier,softer way.
I would highly suggest staying away from them friends that can drink normally at least for the time being.
and start back at step 1
the steps aren't something we go through, then just stick with 10,11,12.
step 12- and practice these principles in all our affairs. NOT just the principles of step 10,11,12. ALL of them.
where does yer HP fit into all of this? what other service work are you doing for AA and for society?
sittin in the garage all day wont make me a car.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
trudge the road of happy destiny....tells me it aint always easy, but trudging will get me through whatever I have to get through.
or...you could try to kill the pain with alcohol.however, im sure if ya take some time to look at yer past, you will see it really wasn't the easier,softer way.
I would highly suggest staying away from them friends that can drink normally at least for the time being.
and start back at step 1
the steps aren't something we go through, then just stick with 10,11,12.
step 12- and practice these principles in all our affairs. NOT just the principles of step 10,11,12. ALL of them.
where does yer HP fit into all of this? what other service work are you doing for AA and for society?
sittin in the garage all day wont make me a car.
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