Anoronha

I still have thoughts of drinking and small cravings once or twice big ones. A year and a half ago when I first tried sobriety I needed antabuse but now I use the steps and tools my sponsor and the program taught me. I feel frustrated and discouraged the obsession still has not lifted completely. I am 8 months sober most of my friends say their obsession to drink has been completely removed. I feel envious. I pray that the obsession will be lifted but it hasn't so far. When was your obsession to drink removed please explain?

gaffo

I'm at two years and I have recently noticed that the obsession is pretty much gone. I didn't note a specific time that it left but I would guess around a year and a half. It has been a gradual thing. It gets better. I hope that you are able to enjoy the times that you aren't thinking about it.

Sudz No More

For me the obsession started to lift around 6 to 7 months and by 8 it was pretty much gone. I would think you have got to be real close to the curve, just hang in there it should get less and less as you go further. I still get the occasional cravings now but they are manageable, nothing like the cravings I used to get in the early days.

It shouldn't be long now for you to get passed the worst of it.

dwtbd

My pet theory is that the obsession leaves/lifts when people believe/accept or resolve to never drink again.
I can't see how those thoughts could dissipate if people hold the possibility/ inevability of future drinking as an option.
That lots of people say it left in such and such amount of time ,is most likely the time it took them to be "comfortable" with the idea of not drinking in the future and or when they became resolved that there would be no future drinking.
Just a theory

oak

For me, the obsession stopped right at 10 months sober. I'm at 14 months sober now. Occasionally I think about alcohol, but mostly I think how bad it was. Even when the desire to drink comes up now, the desire does not sustain itself in my brain. The desire is very short-lived. I assume alcohol does not light up my brain in the same way as when I was drinking. (Although I would not be surprised if intense cravings come back occasionally.)

I cannot point to anything that happened in my life at 10 months sober. I do not know why the obsessions suddenly got way less. I assumed it was just enough time away from alcohol. I was not participating in any self-help program, although I have in the past.

In case it helps motivate you to stay sober- in 2011 I relapsed right at 10 months sober. Now I wonder if I would have stayed sober a few more weeks in 2011, would I have gotten past the worst of the cravings and stayed sober?

I can appreciate wondering why other people stop having obsessions sooner than you. I struggled with wondering if I was doing recovery wrong in some way, because I had such strong cravings.

I think unresolved trauma was a huge trigger for me. I think unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, etc are going to make cravings more intense and make recovery more complicated. But it is possible!

I hope you feel better very soon.

SparklingSeven

Don't worry...it will come. I was about a year and a half. I was tortured before that. I couldn't even look at alcohol posters in shop windows without kicking myself off, now I can pour my wife the odd glass of wine without any desire to drink - it does annoy me though that it's a big waste of money lol but ZERO cravings.

It will come when it comes, just keep doing what you're doing.

sugarbear1

At over 2.5 years, I still get thoughts, not necessarily cravings but thoughts that can be seen to the end (bad consequences).

My ego likes to rebuild itself.

Maybe work those steps a second time?

KateL

Yeah, it happened to me after about a year.

jutam

Im just over 6 months.... I still think about drinking sometimes, or become scared I might be stupid enough to do that again one day...
In general I think about it way less.... but my thoughts seem to be cyclic... I struggle when I turn another month sober... without realising the time line, but without fail, my thoughts increase
I had a drinking dream 3 days ago out of no where
I feel like we all heal differently
Just don't give up.. good on you

Thepatman

Dwtnd has is bang on I think.

Boleo

In my case the Spiritual Awakening that removed the obsession was not the result of calendar days spent not-drinking, but rather the result of action.
By action I mean struggle/surrender cycles.

Anoronha

I worked all of the 12 steps to the best of my ability. I practice 10, 11,12 to the best of my ability.

Mountainmanbob

it's just different for everyone
Dr. Bob of the AA Program suffered with this for something like a couple of years

but -- he did not take a drink
we need not act out on these thoughts

MM

CupofJoe

We're all different. I used to get frustrated, too, because the obsession wasn't lifted immediately. It took a lot of struggling to even get a short time sober. I felt like there was something wrong with me and I was jealous of people who seemed totally freed. I've learned jealousy only hurts me...

Occasionally I'll have brief thoughts of drinking, but they don't freak me out any more. I'm actually grateful for the occasional time that I'm shaky because I know I can work through it with the help of AA, the steps, my understanding of HP, online help, other alcoholics, etc and I don't have to fear anything. Nothing--not even my thoughts--can make me drink.

I've seen people for whom the obsession was lifted freak out when it came back and end up drinking. So in a way I'm grateful that it took a while for the obsession to lift because the very gradual lifting of the obsession itself was part of my early recovery and I'm not fearful of it any more. And that there are still thoughts sometimes because they remind me of how grateful I am to be sober and alive.

I won't give you a time frame--I don't think it helps to compare--but it took a while for me to feel securely sober. Eight months in is still early, so please be patient. I suspect you are exactly where you need to be.

Ptcapote

I agree with dwtb for the most part here. And I also don't think that is a very easy place to come to, honestly. For me, even though I know, intellectually, that I can never drink again, my ego also likes to try a rebuild every now and again and drag my emotions into it. AA has given me many tools to shut that door once it even cracks open but, admittedly, it does still crack open every now and again.

Not sure how you're defining obsession, either, Anoronda. Are you actually sitting there, sweating bullets, and feeling like you're going to go nuts without a drink? Or is it that it comes into your mind and you spend some time entertaining it? If the first, then yes, you should probably rework the Steps or try to supplement your recovery with maybe something else. If the second, then I think a lot of us get that. I do. I am almost ten months sober. I no longer obsess but does it still come into my mind? Yep.

Thing is that the more time I have, the more I am able to look at it objectively and not get emotionally involved in those feelings. I think that eventually they won't be there at all either. And yes, the absolute acceptance that drinking means death (or worse) is pretty fundamental.

Hang in there, you're completely fine and don't spend a lot of time comparing yourself to anyone else. This is a very individual ride above all else.

endlesspatience

Can I ask you this? Are you keeping a record of when this "obsession" appears? Making a note of it somewhere? I have less sober time than you so you're obviously doing really well. But one thing I try to do is keep a journal and if I really was obsessing about going out having a drink, to make a note of it. Interestingly, those occassions are actually rare - once or twice a week at the moment and I've learned how to control them. But if you asked me in the Middle of an obsession, I'd probably reply I'm obsessed all the time.

FeenixxRising

A good theory IMO.

EndGameNYC

I had daily, intense cravings every day, for most of the day, for something like ten to twelve months following a three-year relapse. Never had cravings when I didn't take a drink for twenty five years.

This time, I did everything possible to enhance my sobriety, also every day. This included detox, rehab, working through the AA Big Book Twelve Steps with my sponsor, going to outpatient treatment, and working on building a better life. My intention was to get back on my feet following rehab and pick up my drinking where I'd left off...to die an active alcoholic. This changed when I took seriously my own life and my impending death, so I reached out and asked someone to help me through the work. And even that wasn't enough. I didn't care enough about myself to live a better life, so I imagined putting my family through the agony of my dying from alcoholism, and all the overwhelming feelings that inevitably come with it. Their lives would be changed forever, and not at all in a good way.

When the daily obsession finally lifted, I continued to have intermittent cravings until they at some point left me. Haven't had them at all for at least a year. My sober life simply doesn't include activities dominated by drinking. Now, my life is not about avoiding an alcoholic death, but living a life I never imagined was possible for me. When people involve themselves in dubious arguments about whether or not AA is a religion, I think of something my sponsor once told me: "Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell; spirituality is for people who don't want to go back to hell."

Anyway, I'm now fine around people who are drinking, and I don't get urges to drink when alcohol is available. But I still have thoughts about drinking, which is standard for we alcoholics.

Sadly, I've known too many people who leave before life gets better, or who give sobriety a half-assed effort, much as I did when I relapsed.